Ladies, let’s talk chocolate.

If I needed to name one food substance I absolutely could not live without, I’m pretty sure it would be chocolate. My weapon of choice is dark chocolate, as dark as possible…I’ve had up to 88% cocoa and thought it was fantastic. Espresso or coffee mixed with dark chocolate is also possibly one of the best things on Earth.

I’m ashamed to admit that I actually believe this, but I think the chocolate I buy has medicinal qualities.

If I have a stomachache, I eat half a square and start to feel better almost instantly. If I’m feeling just crummy in general, even a little nibble can be enough to perk me up. Part of the reason my chocolate is so magical, I think, is because I don’t waste my dollars buying Hershey’s, which is like flavored candle wax to the dark chocolate connoisseur. Hershey’s has recently tried to go all high-class with their Cacao Reserve line, but let’s not kid ourselves. It’s basically the same stuff in more refined packaging.

No, when I spring for chocolate, I spring for the good stuff. Here are a few of my favorites and the reasons why they’re so fantastic. Read More »

It’s usually pretty easy to tell if a guy is single from his apartment. You’ve got the typical underwear out in the open, ring around the bathtub, week old stubble discard in the sink, that odd “shoe and old clothes smell”…I could go on, but it only gets grosser from here.

Most of us are well versed in the signs of The Bachelor Pad, but did you know you can tell if a girl is single and unlaid by her Bachelorette Pad? Read More »

Sometimes, when it comes to our drinks, all we want is simplicity.

Simple ingredients, easy to make, tasty, and above all—fun. Whether you’re out with your girls or hanging inside the dorm celebrating the end of a horrible midterm, fun shots that won’t break the bank are the way to go.

Here’s a two-ingredient shot that tastes awesome. It’s named after one of the best ice cream treats of all time, and, vodka has almost no carbs, so you can have your treat without feeling guilty.

…Although I would never advocate for the total elimination of ice cream from your diet. Ice cream is holy.

Banana Split

1 oz. banana liqueur

1 oz. good quality vodka*

maraschino cherries (optional)

Add the liqueur to your shot glass after the vodka. Stir once and drink. Bite into a maraschino cherry afterwards to take some of the edge off. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 50

Mood: Nervous

“Grace! Hey, come here! Have you heard?”

Sitting down next to Crystal and Naima, I set my plate of salad, tuna, and french fries on the table and pretended that I hadn’t eaten the same thing yesterday, the day before, and the day before that.

“I thought maybe you would have heard something…” Naima stirred her bowl of chocolate ice cream and chocolate sprinkles forcefully, whipping the whole thing into a soupy mess. Somehow, Naima could eat ice cream with every meal and never gain a stray pound.

“Heard what?” I looked down at my water glass before taking a swallow. Inspecting before drinking became a habit after finding a stray piece of someone else’s hair a few weeks before.

“The whole soccer team thing, idiot!” Crystal looked at me like I had two heads, and both of them were being stupid. “Last night, at their Thirsy Thursday party? People are saying a girl was assaulted.”

I stopped eating, my fork poised with nowhere to go. “At the soccer house?”

“Who knows what’s really true,” her appetite still in tact, Naima scooped a watery glob of ice cream into her mouth before continuing, “but people are totally talking about how this freshman maybe got rufied and woke up naked in one of the guys’s beds.” Read More »

I hate to see summer go. As soon as September gets rolling, there’s absolutely no chance that those long, lazy days are coming back. Fall is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, it’s winter I have a beef with.

Winter can sorta be a bitch, especially around my neck of the woods, and thinking about walking down the street with wind whipping hair into my face and slush flying at me from racing taxis is enough to get me screaming like Chris Crocker.

I’ve lived on the East Coast for most of my life, and I get pissed off at winter each and every season.

Good for all of us that we’ve still got a few more weeks before things turn blustery (and I pull out the anti-depressants). As a little homage to my favorite season, I’d like to say goodbye to summer this weekend with a yummy, colorful desert.

Vanilla Wafer Sandwiches

• 1 box Nilla Wafers

• Strawberry ice cream

• Banana ice cream

• 1 banana

• (optional) melon baller

Take out 10 vanilla wafers*, and put five of them on a plate. Using your melon baller or a small spoon, scoop a small scoop of either the strawberry or banana ice cream onto one water. Top with a slice of banana.

Put a second wafer on top of your creation, and stick the whole thing in the freezer to allow them to set. Read More »

• Oh Mary Kate Olsen, if there’s one thing I didn’t want today, it was a visual in my head of you running around naked wearing only jewelry. Real visual? Maybe. (People Magazine)

• Am I crazy or have I been seeing satin shorts in Forever 21 for at least a year? Take that Vera Wang. (FashionchickNYC)

• So now all the smug vegans can drive around in their hybrids feeling smug for yet another reason! Good for them! (Yahoo News)

• “People would walk past the serious work I was doing as a painter and want to see the Etch-A-Sketches.” Ummm…Etch-A-Sketch is serious work. (UK DailyMail)

• If you’re unhappy you get more ice cream! But then what if you’re happy and don’t get as much…doesn’t this make you unhappy? Yes it does. Genius! (wemakemoneynotart.com)

Prepare to have your heart broken: “As she put him into his cage for the night last Thursday, Dr. Pepperberg said, Alex looked at her and said: “You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you.” He was found dead in his cage the next morning…” (New York Times)

Does every art teacher have to be a hippie? I mean, c’mon! That’s like saying all female gym teachers are lesbians… (Chicago Tribune)

What if universities called your house every time you missed class? What if they called your entire school? For some reason I don’t think my mom would have done what these moms did. (tampabays10.com)

$160 = a 5-year supply of Ben and Jerry’s. You just have to find a criminal. Wasn’t this a Nancy Drew book? (local6.com)

Just in case you’re like, the one person who doesn’t check PerezHilton everyday and haven’t seen his own ads on his own site, his show is on tonight. So, you might as well watch so you know what the hell he’s going to be talking about all day tomorrow. (VH1.com)

Health food is health food.

Health food is good for you. Health food will keep you slim. Right?

Well, not if you eat twice as much.

The Journal of Consumer Research recently released a study about the “obesity paradox”; a trend that shows the rise of both obesity and health food popularity in America.

Basically, the trend goes like this: when people see something that says ‘low fat’, they eat twice as much of it—or—they allow themselves higher calorie deserts or snacks after eating a ‘healthy’ meal.

This development makes perfect sense to me. Whenever I force myself to eat a salad for dinner (I mean, how are lettuce and tomatoes supposed to fill you up?), I’ll go straight for the ice cream afterwards. I’ll tell myself, “I ate real healthy for dinner! I can eat more of this than usual! And I won’t gain weight!”

Which is, of course, total bullsh*t.

Especially when most ‘low fat’, ‘low calorie’, and ‘low carb’ products aren’t always as ‘low’ as they claim to be, and often times have unhealthy hidden components.

Now, I’m no doctor, but I’ve read enough of these America is so freaking chubtastic! studies to hypothesize that our major issue as a nation is our tendency to over-eat. Gorging ourselves on bran muffins is still gorging ourselves. Read More »

People are always telling me that it is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all. And depending on the day, I tend to believe that.

That feeling of being in love is like nothing else; it is surreal, divine and really can’t be put into words. Being able to experience that – even if it ends badly – is totally worth it.

But the real question no one is asking is if it is better to have f*@#ed and lost than never to have f*@#ed at all.

I never really thought about it before, but my friend (and not the proverbial friend….really, a friend) is currently experiencing a long (looooooong) dry spell and is going absolutely crazy.

Having spent a good long year in a relationship filled with sex – sometimes 4 times a day – her current situation is hitting her hard making it nearly impossible to forget that delectable sextuation (get it? Sex +situation = sextuation!) she had before. Read More »

Usually, I only pick up a container of ice cream if my hormones are raging out of control, I’m going through something entirely too stressful, or I have come to accept the fact that once I dig in, I will not be able to stop and therefore will feel like this once I’m finished.

But tonight, from 5 to 10pm, I will eat ice cream for a cause that has nothing to do with me and my neuroses. Baskin-Robbins will be selling scoops for only 31 cents, in honor of the National Fallen Fire Fighters Foundation, a fantastic nonprofit organization that recognizes fallen firefighters across the country.

31 cents a scoop? I’ll probably devour atleast fourteen, guilt-free; this is ice cream in the name of good, people.