Have the last 7 days made anyone else crave a bubble bath and a good book? How about a Valium?

Anyway, the world kind of imploded this week. Cheerleaders were bashed for being cheerleaders, we had flashbacks to 7th grade when our sworn enemy put a dead fish in our locker, that awkward hook-up just became the top dining hall gossip, and we seriously forgot how to actually care.

To make matters worse, we found out that men cheat on us a lot, and John McCain almost didn’t make it to tonight’s debate.

A week like this makes us want to manufacture our own boyfriend, go shopping at American Apparel, find a much younger guy to toy with, eat some candy bar brownies, and eff Jeremy Piven.

At least we learned how to survive that 8 AM class. If nothing else, we’ll be early for the end of the world.

When whoever went and invented cheerleaders, they deemed that the outfits would be cute, most likely revealing, and bouncy. Cheerleaders are athletes, no doubt, but anyone who’s watched them jump and dance around has also noted that most cheerleaders are hot. That’s their appeal. Hot girls who flip around in short skirts and give people something to get “excited” about.

Seems like a school in Idaho missed that memo.

The Idaho Vandals cheerleaders from the University of Idaho were recently forced to dip into their “spirit squad fund” and buy new outfits — because their previous game time attire (crop tops and tiny skirts) was deemed too revealing.

From the Herald Tribune: “A number of fans were concerned that the uniforms were inappropriate,” said Bruce Pitman, dean of students. “To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them.”

Of course there were a number of fans who liked them! Who doesn’t enjoy half-naked girls? Most likely, the “number of concerned fans” who weren’t so happy about the outfits were either intimidated or totally at a loss with their own sexuality.

Unless those Idaho cheerleaders were forced into dressing provocatively, there was no reason to go after them. These girls are college students — adults. If Ms. Uptight Mom or Mr. Nervous Dad didn’t want their younger children being exposed to bare midrifts…they should probably consider shutting off the television and computer forever. They should also keep their children away from beaches. And pools. Better yet, why not just blindfold them until they’re ready to get married?

That’ll solve it.