Houston, we might have a problem: this is one big step for mankind everywhere! But, uh, what about the girls?

Since obdurate feminists the world over will be screaming sexism before the day is through, we at CollegeCandy hope to add some fuel to the fire. With a list of five more safe houses for the men in our lives, lets explore the reasons why men often need to duck and cover when it comes to women.

1. We Like to Shop for Clothes

Pretend you’re a man. What’s worse? Clothes or furniture shopping? Before you answer, no, I’m not talking lingerie shopping. That’s a whole ‘nother topic entirely. If you thought furniture shopping was downright awful, wait until you’re forced to hold bag after bag and sit through 45435345 dressing room try-ons.  And if you hesitate for even a moment, men, we know you think we’re ugly and we’re fat. Or that you’re picturing the girl in the next fitting room naked. If nothing looks good or fits right, our moods will be ruined for the rest of the afternoon. The solution? A “man-cave” similar to the kind you’ll find in IKEA Sydney. Told you the Swedes are ahead of the ball.

2. We Get Pre- and Post-PMS

What, did you think PMS only lasted a week? Sorry to bust your bubble babe, but lets get real. The salty, sweet, repeat cravings start well before nature takes its toll on our uteri. Be prepared to run with any type of mood swing we’re experiencing, we guarantee it’ll change again within the next hour or so. Then, there’s the week after. Yup, still bitchy. If you want to be ready, play like Clooney and gear up to ride out the Perfect Storm.

3.  We Always Love Chick-Flicks

And that will never, ever change. So quick, before I keep going, go ahead and schedule poker night for the same night as the premiere of Crazy, Stupid, Love. Even though we may already have an outstanding collection of chick-flicks to view at home whenever we want, nothing quite beats getting dressed up and spending a night at the movies, head resting on your shoulder, bawling our eyes out as Ryan Gosling professes his love at the end of the film. The solution? 3D glasses that actually play another movie. Case closed, enjoy a night out with your honey without ever having to shed a fake tear.

4.  It Will Take Us Longer to Get Ready than You

A word to the wise: please, please, please let us get ready in peace. We know you can hop out of the shower and into your clothes in a matter of moments but it takes us way, way longer than that. We have to do our hair, and then we have to stare at our hair in the mirror and fix it. Again. Then when it’s time to get dressed, we have to try on several different outfits. And fix our hair again. Next we have to find shoes. Get where I’m going with this? So here is one proposed cure: locate the remote, then secure yourself in front of the TV. Once you’ve gotten that far, find ESPN and do not, do not, ask us again when we’re going to be ready. If you want to avoid taking a stiletto to the face, just be patient. Trust me.

5. Our PMS is Real

If pre- and post-PMS were not enough to drive you crazy, welcome to the must awful time of the year that happens every month. Due to the fact that PMS is completely different and crazy for every woman on this planet, let me just say this: build yourself a bunker. Stock it full of junk food, pillows  and earplugs. For the safety of men everywhere, stay inside the walls of said bunker and do not leave. Conditions may be worse than any earthquake, hurricane or other natural disaster you may have experienced before. Proceed with caution and heed our very emotional warnings.

Okay, so while the Swedes one-upped the world in Sydney this week, there is still more cave excavation to be done. Men of the world, rejoice, there is relief waiting for you.

Women, stay classy and when the time is right, stay crazy. It’s our natural right as descendants from the craziest bitch herself, Mother Earth.

It’s almost the end of the school year and for those unfortunate seniors out there, it may also be the end of college. (Wah Wah) The second most asked question (right after “what are you doing to do after you graduate?”), will be “what do you want for your graduation gift?” While my wise brother always claims that cash is king, the older generation often wants to give you something more tangible as a gift.

So here’s a list of things you should ask for so you don’t end up with five copies of Oh the Places You’ll Go:

The Huffington Post just released a list of the 10 Happiest Places in the World.  I was totally excited to recognize some of the places on the list and book my one-way ticket to nirvana, but had to reconsider when I didn’t even realize where some of these places were.  Vanuatu?  Bhutan?  Wuyi Shan?  Hidakagwa? While the pictures are beyond amazing, I’m thinking the price tags that accompany a stay in these locations would be more than my college-girl budget could accommodate.

Fortunately, I know of a few Happy Places that only require a hop, skip, stumble, or drive to get to:

Ikea
The Holy Grail of fabulous discount home décor, indeed.  Who doesn’t love a little Swedish influence in their dorm room?  A day trip to your local (or two states away) Ikea is always worth it, especially when you take a quick break from shopping to enjoy the international cuisine of their lunchroom.  Mmmmm…

Jimmy John’s on Sunday Morning
Free smells?  Heck, I’ll fork over a small fortune for one of their delicious sandwiches when I’ve got a massive hangover.  Sitting slumped over a turkey on whole wheat while piecing together the previous night’s events with the BFFs will always bring a smile to my face.

Laying on the Quad During the First Warm Day
You know the type of day I’m talking about.  After months of winter’s gloom, the sun finally makes an appearance and the thermometer reads a delightful 70 degrees.  Class is not an option on these days.  Grab your girlfriends, embrace the paleness of your limbs, and watch the guys play Frisbee.  There’s nothing better.

Your “Home” Bedroom the First Night of Winter Break
It’s walking into the bedroom of your childhood after five months of living, eating, sleeping, and studying in the same space with another person.  The carpet is clean, the bed is made…and what’s that you hear?  Absolutely nothing?  Yes, the marvelous sounds of silence.

Your Couch on Wine Wednesday
Want to wear sweatpants?  Want to throw your hair up in a messy bun?  Want to get a buzz on while gossiping with your best friends?  Welcome to Wine Wednesday!  Sink in that comfy couch and let the smack-talk fly.

Tailgating on Sunny Fall Days
It’s school spirit, big SUVs, tons of kegs, and a cool breeze.  Of course you get out there at the crack of dawn, even for the night games.  Why waste a single moment when you could be chatting around the grill and playing flip cup?  Bring on the cute scarves, baby needs a drink!

Dollar Beer Night at the Bar
Did I mention the beer is just a dollar?  It’s the one night a week you can feel like a Rockefeller as you peel back the ones and buy a round for all your friends.  Not to mention that less than 20 bucks get you good and wasted.  Everyone wins.

Roommate Bonding in Your Dorm Room with a Full Season of DVDs
Don’t feel like getting out of bed?  Good thing you’ve got a remote and that six-disc DVD changer!  From the comfort of your extra long twin you can take in the wisdom of Carrie Bradshaw or the romantic trials of Dawson and Joey.  When bathroom breaks and trips to the microwave to make popcorn are the only pressing matters of the day,  you know you’re doing something right.

The Gym During the Baseball Team’s Working Out
Sweat.  Muscles.  Lunges.  Need I say more?

The Nail Salon When You Have Spare Money
So in this scenario, not only do you have extra cash, but someone is also massaging your feet.  Yeah, this is basically what my dreams look like.  Sit back and relax.  For 45 minutes you get to escape reality and forget about that term paper looming off in the distance.  Bliss!

I thought I was IKEA’s biggest fan. Everything I own in my apartment is from that place. But this woman would definitely beat me for president of the IKEA Fan Club.

She may not be amazing, but she knows what she likes. And it can be put together in 12 easy steps.

This totally beats that boring desk chair from IKEA.
And just think of the photo opportunities.

Splenda may kill you, but it’s not as bad as the other stuff you’re using!

A how-to guide for sex in some very public places.

The 12 Types of Beer Pong Players.

Prada runway roadkill.

Funniest ad ever…or most offensive?

Melissa Joan Hart can’t even get on Dancing With The Stars? HAHA.

In case you were wondering: Martha Stewart’s thoughts on long weiners…

Mmmmm. Breast milk ice cream?

The Britney Spears comeback continues. Next up: sell the house.

Nick Hogan is gettin’ out of the clink early. Shocking!

Mama Spears always has something to say.

You could go to pbteen.com for a dorm room like this…or follow our time-tested advice!

It’s a dorm. Not an apartment, not a studio, and not a tiki hut. Keep that in mind whilst decorating.

In fact, one of my closest guy friends constantly mocks those girls who go all out on a simple dorm room, exclaiming, “GiRlzz! Letz do a BeaCH ThEmE! Lolz!”

That aside, it is your home, and your own personal residence for an entire school year, so it’s important you like it, want to be in it, and it’s presentable for guests at uh, any hour of the night.

So yeah, there are those crazies who have the money (and stupidity) to pimp out their dorm rooms, but what about you? What about poor, busted-my-ass-at-Ruby-Tuesdays-for-this-paycheck? you, who likely can’t afford a single Johnny Depp poster, let alone an entire room’s worth of decoration.

I’ll let you in on a little secret chickies, it’s all about the bargain shopping. And knowing where to find that.

Flea Markets. Every single flea market high and low is bound to have those cute little tin signs that say ‘Cold Beer on Tap’ or something clever and college-appropriate like that. Not only are you beating out those dumb girls down the hall that have a lifesize David Beckham cut-out (Isn’t that kind of creepy anyway?) but now you’re all vintage and cute! You classy broad, you.

Thrift stores. I had a couple friends back in middle school that wouldn’t let me flip through sale racks when we’d go to the mall. There’s a reason that I’m happy and fabulous and they’ve fallen off the face of the earth five years later. Thrift stores are the perfect place to find cute picture frames and other cool little doo-dads for your bare empty desk.

As for bedspreads and rugs? They always tend to run semi-expensive anywhere you look, but this is when you raise your hands in the air and thank God for Sweden! IKEA has some of the best (and cheapest!) shit out there, and I’ll let you in on a little secret. The children’s duvets are cuter than the adult ones, and run conveniently in twin- just for your little pathetic dorm bed. Yippee!

It’s really not that hard to find bargains if you’re willing to dig and rummage.

Isn’t it better to be the chick with all the unique decor rather than the FIFTEENTH girl on your floor with the same James Dean poster above your bed?

Sure, it takes a little extra energy and time, but is that so not worth the extra dollars you’ll have for booze this Friday? Frugal & fuckin’ wasted, what’s better than that?