Do you want to know what I was going to get you?” my husband asked.

A week before our one-year wedding anniversary, we had decided to pool our money to buy a living room chair. (Romantic? Not so much. But having a place to sit is way sexier than a dozen roses—and lasts longer, too.) It was the most rhetorical question I had ever heard. Of course I wanted to know.

“Do you remember that dress at Club Monaco? The one with the black top and the white bottom?” he asked me. Why, yes. The dress with little cap sleeves and an empire waist that fl owed with a perfect fluid drape. How could I forget it? It was the type of clothing you “visit” in anticipation of owning. And I had. Several times.

Yet my husband’s non-purchase came as no surprise to me. We’ve all been there before: Boy hands you gift. You untie the ribbon, brush away the tissue paper to reveal… mesh lingerie or a slinky, sexpot number. Yet this gift was different. This wasn’t a dress that would turn male heads, let alone make a man backtrack to buy it.

It was, in short, a girl dress. The type that says, demurely, “I go to brunch with the gals—and never in heels.” The fact that he considered investing in a dress that shrouded any hint of my sexuality seemed a testament to his love. Seriously. What. A. Guy. But that got me thinking. For whom exactly do I dress? I took a good look in my closet. Trapeze dresses, graphic patterns, and applique stared back. Nothing was overtly feminine. In fact, there seemed to be an overabundance of black and gray. And most everything I owned flunked the guy-friendly fashion test:

Read the rest at Your Tango!

My staple Impress ‘Em Meal has always been pasta primavera. It’s simple, fresh, and healthy – but best of all? It easy to do.

Here’s my favorite primavera recipe, from the Food Network. I recently used this to impress partygoers at a giant potluck. Now, they all think I can actually cook (too bad my microwave knows better…)!

INGREDIANTS

3 carrots, peeled and cut into thin strips

2 medium zucchini or 1 large zucchini, cut into thin strips

2 yellow squash, cut into thin strips

1 onion, thinly sliced

1 yellow bell pepper, cut into thin strips

1 red bell pepper, cut into thin strips

1/4 cup olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 tablespoon dried Italian herbs or herbes de Provence

1 pound farfalle (bowtie pasta)

15 cherry tomatoes, halved

1/2 cup grated Parmesan

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

On a large heavy baking sheet, toss all of the vegetables with the oil, salt, pepper, and dried herbs to coat. Transfer half of the vegetable mixture to another heavy large baking sheet and arrange evenly over the baking sheets. Bake until the carrots are tender and the vegetables begin to brown, stirring after the first 10 minutes, about 20 minutes total.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until al dente, tender but still firm to the bite, about 8 minutes. Drain, reserving 1 cup of the cooking liquid.

Toss the pasta with the vegetable mixtures in a large bowl to combine. Toss with the cherry tomatoes and enough reserved cooking liquid to moisten. Season the pasta with salt and pepper, to taste. Sprinkle with the Parmesan and serve immediately.

[Recipe courtesy of Everyday Italian]

Ah, the conundrum that is holiday office parties. More often than not, the liquor is plentiful and free, everyone’s in a good mood, and the hors d’oevres spread out all around you is some of the best food you’ve eaten in months.

Free liquor and all-you-can-eat miniature crab cakes?! What’s not to go crazy about?

But aye, there’s the rub. Getting liquored up and stuffing your face with scallops wrapped in bacon in front of your boss? Not the best idea. Screaming and running to the dance floor when the generic DJ starts up “Living on a Prayer” isn’t going to win you any mature points. Oh, and hitting on people you’re undoubtedly going to see the next morning bright and early?

Mistake.

So how is a person supposed to enjoy themselves but stay out of trouble this holiday office party season? Simple. Just follow a few straightforward rules.

#5) Eat something before you get to the party. Sure, there’s bound to be awesome food once you get there (even if your boss is cheap, there’ll be something. And hey, free food is good food), but going on an empty stomach spells trouble. You’ll get tipsy much faster, thus lowering your inhibitions much faster (jumping up onto the table and screaming how much you love your job? Whoops), increasing your chances of being “that girl from the first floor who ate all those pigs in a blanket and then threw up in the hallway”. Grab a granola bar or apple or even dinner before you go. Honestly, you’ll thank me later.

#4) Do not wear your usual partying clothes. A typical Friday night outfit is not the same as Monday morning work wear, and since you’re going to be surrounded by people who have only seen you in the Monday morning ensemble, whipping out the low-cut shirts and short skirts might make more of an impression than you want. Holiday office parties really aren’t the place to impress people with your awesome bod…especially if you’re trying to impress them with your awesome mind during the day.

#3) If a superior or co-worker seems like they might be hitting on you, RUN AWAY. Do not let a potentially drunk person put you or themselves in a compromising position. Everyone will regret it the next workday, and if someone higher on the food chain realizes they overstepped their bounds after one too many gin and tonics, you might be the one who feels the heat.

#2) Keep the sexy dancing (especially with that hot temp) to a minimal. Maybe don’t even do it at all. Gettin’ low in front of your co-workers gives people way too much access to your business…if you know what I mean.

#1) Do not, under any circumstances, get drunk. I know, I know, the free booze is tempting, but melting into sloppy disarray in front of people you work for is a surefire way to get overlooked come raise time. Besides, you know how people still talk about that guy at last year’s party who ran around with shrimp in his mouth? Poor bastard’s never been able to live it down.