I’m a resolution maker. I think January 1 is a great time to stop, think about the things you want to do better for yourself, and start the improvement process. And while I’ve set a few for myself this year (thanks to that post-holiday trip to the scale), what I’m most excited for are the resolutions I’ve set for my relationship.

Matt and I have made it through our first whole calendar year together and we have a lot to look back on and think about. Seeing where we went wrong and discussing what we can do to make it better in the new year can help our relationship (pssst. this can help yours, too!) become strong and help us become more aware of each other. Now that we both know each other better than anyone else in this world, we should have a better sense of what we should and can do to make our relationship even better.

So here are just a few little things I will be working on in my relationship in 2010. No relationship is perfect – perhaps a few of these will help you and yours. Read More »

OK, so this pic is misleading. No matter how much I love my BF, I wouldn’t jump out of a plane for him. Even with a gray-haired instructor on my back.

But that being said, I’ve recently realized how many new things I’ve tried since calling Matt my boyfriend.

Most people think that once you’re in a serious relationship, your fun and adventurous days are over. Well that, like most other generalizations, isn’t true!

When you love someone, you trust someone. And when you trust someone, you tend to be a little more willing to try weird things that used to make you want to barf. Those could be things that you never once considered (snowboarding), or things that you considered at one point, tried and vowed never to try again (Taquitos from 7-11). It just comes with the relationship territory; not only do you want to love the things your significant other loves, but you also know that if he or she enjoys them, maybe they’re not so bad after all. Read More »

Which family will we be dining with!?

With Halloween over and done with and Christmas decorations lining hte aisles of my local CVS, it can only mean one thing: holiday season has begun.

But along with the amazingness that is Thanksgiving and Christmas, comes with one big question:

Where the heck am I going to spend the holidays this year?!?!!

With my awesome boyfriend came an awesome family, and they’ve really welcomed me as one of their own. Fortunately, his mom made the question of “Where am I spending Thanksgiving?” easy. She got tickets for herself, her older son, Matt, and myself to go see the Dallas Cowboys game on Thanksgiving day! It’s our early Christmas present and it’s a dream come true for my boyfriend. I mean come on, he’s a guy who grew up in Texas; going to see his favorite team in the new behemoth that is Cowboy’s Stadium is the best Christmas present ever. Read More »

I had him. And I pushed him away.

I moved to New York City for an internship a few months ago, completely unattached for the first time in what felt like forever. I was so happy to be living in one of the most exhilarating places on earth, independent and ready to have the best time of my life. I didn’t come to the city looking for anyone or anything, just to experience NYC in it’s fullest. I had no intention of dating. In fact, after the year I’d had, it was the last thing on my mind.

Of course, it’s always when you’re not looking that you find someone.

He was ideal in every way. Ivy league grad, held a great job, sweet, very athletic, great looking and he even liked decent music. Not to mention he took me out on real dates (not just guest swiping me into a dining hall), tried to kiss me in public, held my hand… he did everything right. Hell, he even extended his texting plan because I told him I preferred texting to phone calls.

But no matter what, I just couldn’t put my guard down. I flinched when he tried to kiss me in front of people and cringed when he started referring to us as “in a relationship.” I was still single on Facebook; didn’t that mean anything?

The more time we spent together, the further I pulled away. Maybe it was a function of our age difference, but I started to question if there was something wrong with me. I liked spending time with him and everything, but I wasn’t ready to be his girlfriend. After all the a-holes I’d been with who cheated on me, lied to me, used and under-appreciated me, you’d think I’d be jumping for joy for this guy. On the contrary, I was terrified. I didn’t and do not want a boyfriend and I’m not interested in experiencing committal at age 21. Words like “girlfriend” and “relationship” strike fear into my heart. Read More »

So you’re in a relationship and stuff is going swell. He likes you and you like him and you’re both mad busy but making it work and it’s smiles all around. He met your friends and they all loved him because he’s got adorable dimples or a great fashion sense or a lovable demeanor. Now, it’s time to meet his friends.

One of the problematic after-effects of western maleness is a complete obsession with making sure everyone knows that we have no ‘feminine’ aspects. Whether it’s because we want everyone to know that we ‘totally aren’t a pansy‘ or because we watched G.I Joe too much (if that’s possible), aspects of our personality that might be construed as ‘female’ (of course, problematic since, as we all know, gender is performance) scare the crap out of us.

Guys eventually (usually) grow out of this, realize that everyone has their own stuff, and it doesn’t make you any less of a man to cry once and a while or to love something beyond ‘tail and cash!’ Maternal and Paternal instincts have many similarities, after all.

What totally sucks is this ‘phase’ strikes right around 18-24, and if you’re dating a college guy, there’s a decent chance he’s got a little bit of this in him. It doesn’t mean he’s a cretin in waiting, but it can make meeting his friends difficult at times because they are suffering from UBLS, or Unrequited Bro Love Syndrome (pronounced “Ubles“) Read More »