I remember watching Say Anything with my sister when I was a kid and wondering if all men were as sweet as Lloyd Dobbler, standing outside a girl’s house with a boom box over his head. Obviously I had a rude awakening when I got to dating age and realized that high school guys were actually kinda jerks. I never got a big romantic gesture, Valentines, or even a cute note in class.

After meeting Matt in college and falling in love, I realized that those high school boys were still pretty eh, but I also learned that it doesn’t take some grand romantic gesture to be a sweet guy. It’s all the little things Matt does for me that really mean the most.

Last week I was in Wisconsin for my grandpa’s funeral. Since it was such short notice, my mom couldn’t afford to fly Matt up with me so he stayed at home while I was gone for a week. When I finally returned to Texas, I was coming down the elevator at the airport to meet him and he walked up the escalator just so he could give me a kiss and a hug a little bit earlier. He totally swept me off my feet, and with him just being his usual impatient self.

I’ve learned that guys don’t really like the big romantic gestures because most of the time they’re afraid they’ll either: A. screw it up somehow, B. embarrass themselves, C. get rejected, or D. all of the above. So honestly, the big romantic things are pretty rare, and while that means they should still be valued when they DO come along, you have to pay attention and enjoy the smaller things.

I for one love to get the random text at 2 in the afternoon that just says “i love you” when I’ve been having a bad day. It turns my entire day around from crappy to awesome. Or when Matt lets me have the last Dr. Pepper in the fridge. Such a gentlemen! I’ve learned not to expect amazing over-the-top romantic nights from Matt and I’m perfectly happy with that. As women we need to stop putting so much pressure on men to be romantic when just letting them be them can make us so much happier. Read More »

Closure. What does that term actually mean?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again. Read More »

Got a question for La Tuffs? Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com with all your questions to be featured in her weekly column.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Last week my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because he’s not sure if I’m the one. He said he wanted to be friends (seriously), and I told him I couldn’t be his friend. So then he told me he didn’t want to break up, to which I said I wasn’t going to stay with him if he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me. So he suggested we take a step back and “just date.” At the time, I thought, well, okay, better than nothing (I’m not desperate, I just really love this guy), and agreed.

But Tuffy, I don’t think I can do this. I mean, you date to get to know someone right? And he already knows me! I worried he’s trying to ease himself away from the relationship or whatever by “just dating” for a month or so, then he’ll want to be done for real. The other problem is, he’s still been texting me, calling me and referring to me as “sweetheart” and “babe.” We are actually going on “dates,” but my friends are telling me to play hard to get with him, because once he sees like life is like without me, he’ll “go nuts.” What should I do? Am I setting myself up for long drawn out pain rather than just “ripping off the bandage”?

Help,
“Just Dating” my Boyfriend Read More »

I mean, Instant Messenger has been around forever. Remember those days in high school, when you would tell your parents “you just don’t understand!” and then stomp up to your room and begin to IM 20 friends at once, bitching about how your parents just didn’t understand?

Or how about Freshman year in college when you somehow managed to get your crush’s AIM name, and then proceeded to sit over the keyboard for hours, sweating about if IMing him and “just saying hi” would somehow make you a creepy stalker?

If you’re in my generation, you grew up with AIM, just like you grew up with boy bands and obesity. Growing up with AIM means that we’re all too familiar with the “Away Message”, a strange societal habit of TMI. Even though Away Messages tend to vacillate, there are a few that pop up time and time again. Below, we’ve captured the top 5 familiar few. Read More »

Ah, February 14th. The day Russia was liberated in 1943. The day Teller of Penn and Teller was born back in 1948. Two months after my birthday. Oh, right, and Valentine’s Day.

This whole concept of celebrating Valentine’s Day with my significant other is new to me, you see, so forgive me for not really remembering that it exists. In the past, I’ve always spent Valentine’s Day with the people I loved, not the people I was in love with. So I figure that this Valentine’s Day really won’t be all that different from all the rest, save I’ll spend a little more time with one person and a little less time with the whole gang.

Still, that whole sappy romance thing just doesn’t cut it for me. Don’t get me wrong; roses and chocolate are all well and good, but I need a little more variety than that. I need to have fun. Ridiculous, outrageous, hilarious, entertaining fun. So, for those who are spending their Valentine’s Day with their beau, their best buds, or both, I present a companion piece of sorts.

1. Drive-thru dining: Get some cardboard boxes. Big boxes. Try a furniture store, or you could even get a nice set of moving boxes. They need to be big enough for you to actually walk around in, though. You’ll see why. Get together one or several friends, sit down with some crayons and markers, and draw yourself a car. Read More »