We were both freshman at the same university and when you’re walking around an unfamiliar campus with 40,000+ students, a familiar face seems like your best friend. We ran into each other ALL the time, literally. If we weren’t bumping into each on the streets of campus or at a party, it was in the chemistry lab or library. Our frequent run-ins turned into small chit-chat which led to Facebook friending, which led to AIM chatting, which led to hanging out one-on-one, which led to hooking up, which led to introducing each other to our friends, which brought us to where we are now — happily in love!

When you’re in love and in college, YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! I honestly couldn’t put it any other way. And now that I think about it…I wouldn’t have it any other way either. I’ve been able to party and live up the college experience while feeling secure knowing I’ve had my man by my side the whole time. It took time to find a healthy balance between class, sex, and beer but we found it (and we rank them in that order). We still have different groups of BFFs (some mutual friends to kick it with sometimes too) and are each dedicated to different organizations on campus so we have to go our separate ways sometimes, but it’s healthy. Besides, for whatever reason, there’s something sexy about not seeing your boo all day and then meeting up later.

Being in a serious relationship during college hasn’t always felt like luxury, but it’s always felt like love. I can’t count the number of times our dates consisted of ordering in the cheapest, fattiest foods (Gumby’s ring a bell?) or cramming in the library for two days straight with bag lunches. I know that someday I’ll be able to look back on these cheap date memories of undergrad and know that I spent them with my best friend and my lovah! Talk about having your cake and eating it too.

Are you in college and in looovvee? Are you even ready for love?  Wondering what love means these days? Share it all below!

We’ve all killed a few hours (*cough*Calculus*cough*) imagining that amazing guy that would somehow walk into our lives – you know, the one with the suave of George Clooney, the charm of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the abs of Ryan Kwanten (hello, Jason Stackhouse!) – and magically turn all those microwave-ramen-days into a romantic comedy dream. Turns out though, most of us actually believe he exists.

OK, maybe not quite as awesome as we dreamed, but still, according to a new, poll two-thirds of us believe that our soul mate is out there and that we’ll find him some day.

On the one hand, I totally get that. Assuming that you didn’t spend your formative years as part of a remote tribe in the depths of the Amazon (and probably even if you did), you were probably raised on movies, TV shows and books filled with epic love stories. And if all of those quirky girls can find THE guy who will love them and make life a fairy tale, why shouldn’t someone nice and normal (mumbles) like me be able to do it too. Sure, we realize it’s not going to play out exactly like the movies, but it’s not really the big kiss-in-the-rain-to-the-tune-of-a-Top-4o-love-song scenes that matter, it’s the love. Moreover, those stories always make it seem like the girl who “settles” – who picks a nice, smart, handsome guy who loves her but isn’t “the one” – is making a huge mistake and ruining her happiness forever. No, we’re not all four years-old, we know that all of those tales aren’t real life, but they do on a subconscious level, form our ideas about what love should be.

But then there’s that pesky little reality problem we all have to live with. See, it turns out that people who believe in the soulmate thing and apply that to their relationships are 150% more likely to get divorced. Ouch! The problem is, in a world with roughly 6.5 billion people, even if we all really do have a soul mate, the odds of finding that person would be crazy small (I’d do the math, but like I said before, I had other abs on my mind during those classes). It also inherently means that most people who get married are probably married to someone who’s not “the one” – and by that virtue, are taking up someone else’s “one” – and that those marriages are somehow less meaningful. The soul mate seems like a romantic idea, but when you put it into perspective, it’s actually just heart-crushingly depressing.

What say ye, ladies? (Why did that go all medieval? I have no idea) Do you believe that someday your prince will come? Or is that rom-com stuff all a little blown out of proportion? Duke it out!

After meeting Matt in college and falling in love, I realized that those high school boys were still pretty eh, but I also learned that it doesn’t take some grand romantic gesture to be a sweet guy. It’s all the little things Matt does for me that really mean the most.

Last week I was in Wisconsin for my grandpa’s funeral. Since it was such short notice, my mom couldn’t afford to fly Matt up with me so he stayed at home while I was gone for a week. When I finally returned to Texas, I was coming down the elevator at the airport to meet him and he walked up the escalator just so he could give me a kiss and a hug a little bit earlier. He totally swept me off my feet, and with him just being his usual impatient self.

I’ve learned that guys don’t really like the big romantic gestures because most of the time they’re afraid they’ll either: A. screw it up somehow, B. embarrass themselves, C. get rejected, or D. all of the above. So honestly, the big romantic things are pretty rare, and while that means they should still be valued when they DO come along, you have to pay attention and enjoy the smaller things.

I for one love to get the random text at 2 in the afternoon that just says “i love you” when I’ve been having a bad day. It turns my entire day around from crappy to awesome. Or when Matt lets me have the last Dr. Pepper in the fridge. Such a gentlemen! I’ve learned not to expect amazing over-the-top romantic nights from Matt and I’m perfectly happy with that. As women we need to stop putting so much pressure on men to be romantic when just letting them be them can make us so much happier.

Face it, you’re not going to have Lloyd Dobbler standing outside your window every day trying to win you back. Or even your guy buying you flowers and cooking a romantic dinner on a random Thursday night. It’s the little things that count; they really do make me love my boyfriend a little more each day.

Whether it’s just a note left on our chalkboard in the apartment, or when he kisses me on my head when I’m still in bed and he’s off to his 8 o’clock class, the smallest gestures can really show just how much your man loves you and make you think “I have the best boyfriend EVER.”

Who needs some expensive gift when you’ve got that?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again.

However, according to the unwritten Laws of Closure, I am not over him because he is still in my life. My friends are constantly worrying that he’s just trying to get me back and that I need to be rid of him to be truly over him, but that doesn’t seem right or fair to me.

I mean, come on, ladies – can’t we be strong enough to move on from a past relationship without disregarding the ex?

After all, we all learn from every relationship, good or bad, and in some ways are changed by it. It is impossible to be so open with and connected to someone without it altering us. Should we dismiss someone who helps shape who we become? And just because a relationship doesn’t work out, does that mean that no relationship with that person can? Being a boyfriend is a lot different than being a friend; why can’t we get closure and still hold onto the friend?

I’m sure that it’s a whole lot easier to pick up the pieces and move on after a break up without the other person around, but I am proof that it’s possible to move on and have your closure without banishing your ex to the island of failed relationships.

What do you think? What does it take to get a little closure around here?

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Last week my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because he’s not sure if I’m the one. He said he wanted to be friends (seriously), and I told him I couldn’t be his friend. So then he told me he didn’t want to break up, to which I said I wasn’t going to stay with him if he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me. So he suggested we take a step back and “just date.” At the time, I thought, well, okay, better than nothing (I’m not desperate, I just really love this guy), and agreed.

But Tuffy, I don’t think I can do this. I mean, you date to get to know someone right? And he already knows me! I worried he’s trying to ease himself away from the relationship or whatever by “just dating” for a month or so, then he’ll want to be done for real. The other problem is, he’s still been texting me, calling me and referring to me as “sweetheart” and “babe.” We are actually going on “dates,” but my friends are telling me to play hard to get with him, because once he sees like life is like without me, he’ll “go nuts.” What should I do? Am I setting myself up for long drawn out pain rather than just “ripping off the bandage”?

Help,
“Just Dating” my Boyfriend

Dear Just Dating,

Honey, my heart goes out to you. Tuffy got a record number of questions this week (seriously! thanks, readers!) but I had to answer yours because it just broke my heart.

Love is so fragile. Sometimes it takes just one little thing–or, in this case, one little non-thing, a pressing doubt–to ruin something really special and good.

Think back on your relationship and try to be honest. Did you see it coming? Should you have seen it coming? Were you really right together, or just comfortable?

And more importantly, do you really think he’s The One? Sometimes the pain of rejection convinces us that the person who rejected us must be right for us. Try to think as objectively as you can: Do you really see this man as someone you could be with for the rest of your life?

If you really, honestly think the answer is yes, don’t let him go like this. This little lingering doubt – maybe just some fear of commitment – is not worth losing each other for. If he’s worthwhile, tell him so. Tell him you love him and know he loves you.

Give him his dating period, but set a time limit. Tell him you’re willing to try “dating” each other again, but that after a month you’re going to have to sit down and talk. Because you really can’t start over. You still have your entire past staring you back in the face over every dinner, during every kiss.

And make the dates amazing. Give yourself (and him) a chance to fall back in love. Do fun things and don’t fight. Think of it as a vacation, and when you come back, you’ll both be refreshed and ready to give it another go.

I don’t know why, but your letter really moved me. I think you love this guy, and I hope he loves you too. Here’s hoping you can find each other again. I’m rooting for you.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Or how about Freshman year in college when you somehow managed to get your crush’s AIM name, and then proceeded to sit over the keyboard for hours, sweating about if IMing him and “just saying hi” would somehow make you a creepy stalker?

If you’re in my generation, you grew up with AIM, just like you grew up with boy bands and obesity. Growing up with AIM means that we’re all too familiar with the “Away Message”, a strange societal habit of TMI. Even though Away Messages tend to vacillate, there are a few that pop up time and time again. Below, we’ve captured the top 5 familiar few.

5) The “Annoyingly In Love While the Rest of the World Suffers Alone” Message:

4) The “Feel Free to Stalk Me” Message:

3) The “Needlessly Profound” Message:

2) The “Random Emo Poetry” Message:

1) The “Come On, You’ve Gotta Give Us Something” Message:

Ah, February 14th. The day Russia was liberated in 1943. The day Teller of Penn and Teller was born back in 1948. Two months after my birthday. Oh, right, and Valentine’s Day.

This whole concept of celebrating Valentine’s Day with my significant other is new to me, you see, so forgive me for not really remembering that it exists. In the past, I’ve always spent Valentine’s Day with the people I loved, not the people I was in love with. So I figure that this Valentine’s Day really won’t be all that different from all the rest, save I’ll spend a little more time with one person and a little less time with the whole gang.

Still, that whole sappy romance thing just doesn’t cut it for me. Don’t get me wrong; roses and chocolate are all well and good, but I need a little more variety than that. I need to have fun. Ridiculous, outrageous, hilarious, entertaining fun. So, for those who are spending their Valentine’s Day with their beau, their best buds, or both, I present a companion piece of sorts.

1. Drive-thru dining: Get some cardboard boxes. Big boxes. Try a furniture store, or you could even get a nice set of moving boxes. They need to be big enough for you to actually walk around in, though. You’ll see why. Get together one or several friends, sit down with some crayons and markers, and draw yourself a car.

Go all out; make yourself rims and flames and whatever you want to do. Attach some string to the sides so that it hangs from your shoulders, then walk – sorry, drive – down to your local drive-thru establishment, order your dinner, and roll out. You, your buddies, and the McDonalds staff will have a good laugh.

2. Spreadin’ the word: What better way to share your favorite love (or anti-love) song with people than to write them out where they can see? Buy yourself a big bucket of sidewalk chalk and head down to a fairly busy place – a bus station, a parking lot, a park – and write out lyrics and quotes wherever you want. It’s just chalk, so it washes out and you won’t get in trouble for graffiti. I wouldn’t advise anything with curses, of course, but everything else is free game.

3. Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it: No, I’m not talking about what you think I’m talking about – though if you wanna do it like they do on the Discovery Channel, hey, I’m not stopping you. That’s just another list for another day. But if it’s nice enough outside, why don’t you pack up a nice lunch and go to the zoo?

Yeah, you heard me. The zoo. There are plenty of places to go and things to see. You learn a ton of stuff, you satiate your wild side, and let’s face it; animals do some pretty funny things. If it’s too icky outside, though, don’t forget that there’s always the aquarium. Find a local one here.

4. Darling, you look positively gaudy: Here’s one of my personal favorites. Grab your camera, first of all. Head down to any clothing store that has dressing rooms – the bigger, the better. Separate from everyone else and for about twenty minutes, pick out the tackiest ensemble you can possibly manage. Then head to the dressing room and put it ALL on – the earrings, the hat, the scarf, that vest-shirt-tanktop-atrocity, the 80′s pump shoes – and stroll out. Meet your buddy or buddies outside the dressing rooms, giggle for a bit, take pictures. Lather, rinse, and repeat until security catches on and throws you out.

5. Free hugs: Humbly inspired by the Free Hugs Campaign, why not cheer up people who may not be feeling their best on St. Valentine’s day? Write a big sign that says “FREE HUGS”, then head to someplace public – a mall, a train station, or a busy street if it’s nice enough – hold up the sign, and wait.

You can do this by yourself or in a massive group, stationing you and your buddies in various places. You’re sure to brighten someone’s potentially otherwise dreary day, and you feel damn good doing it, too.

That doesn’t have to be it, though. There are a ton of other things you can do, too, if you just use your imagination…and yes, I know that’s a cheesy thing to say. Really, though; Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about Cupid. To hell with Cupid, anyway. Just have fun; that’s really all that matters.