Big effing deal, you have a boyfriend. The rest of the world really doesn’t need to know how much you love each other, how much it hurts to wait five minutes between tonsil-hockey sessions, or… well, how much you’ve got him whipped. Sure, I’ve been in love before, but in a watch-the-sunrise-over-bong-rips kinda way, not a need-to-keep-my-hand-on-your-ass-to-claim-my-territory kinda way. Here are some of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to coupling up.

1. Making out in totally non-romantic places.

If I see the two of you pawing each other at the Trevi Fountain in Italy, I’ll forgive you. Now THAT is romantic. But seriously – to the couple who gets on the dirty, overcrowded subway and feels the need to look into each other’s eyes, whisper sweet nothings, and make out for all of three stops – save it. Same for the couple who starts going at it in the checkout line at Rite-Aid. Unless you’re buying condoms, why are you so worked up already? And if you are buying condoms, then save it for the bedroom.

2. Sharing a calendar.

Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean you can’t be individuals. I hate the girl who’s there for you every time… as long as she’s single. Once the “relationship” label gets slapped on some people, they have to synchronize their scheds, and like, can’t even go to the bathroom without making sure it won’t disrupt Date Night (the third one this week). It’s great when a girl can bring her boyfriend out with her friends, and vice versa, but if it’s a “Girls’ Night” and Henry’s trailing behind… it’s effing annoying. Read More »

So, you’re single.

Do you embrace it, or bemoan it? Is it exciting, or just exhausting? Are you here by choice, or because you just can’t seem to land a good partner?

Society would like us to think that there’s only two ways to feel about being single; awesome and shitty. Either you’re a flirt who has no intensions or settling down or a depressed cat lady lighting shrines to the dating gods.

But maybe you’re both. Maybe there are times—watching couples fight on the street, cuddling up in a freshly made bed, spending a day shopping—when you’re completely fine with and happy about being alone.

Other times—finding yourself without plans on the weekend, seeing couples kiss on the street, sitting alone in your living room on a rainy Sunday—being single sucks the big one. Read More »