Ask a Dude: Where’s The Intimacy?

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Are guys into the LDR?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Dear Dude,

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now. We live about two hours apart but see each other at least once a week for a few days at a time. Apart from the occasional argument, all in all we’re really happy. But there is one thing that’s bugging me… He never wants sex!

For the first two or three months, we didn’t see each other much (every few weeks). But when we were together, we were all over each other and he was very generous in bed. And then when we were apart we would send each other dirty texts etc, etc. However, this didn’t last long. Now we see each other really frequently (spent pretty much the whole summer together) and now it seems like I’m the only one who ever initiates anything, and he often says no when I do initiate. If I start kissing him in a certain way or touching him he asks me what I’m doing, and if he gets turned on he says something like “look what you’ve done!” in a kind of jokey way but it signifies that any activity I was hoping for is over. When I’m flirty or suggestive he just tells me that I’m so cheeky but never responds, and genuinely seems to have very little interest in being intimate. I often feel like I’m almost forcing him to let me do anything to him and  I can’t remember the last time he’s done anything to me. Read More »


We’ve All Been There: The Pre-Hookup Convo

42-15928248.jpg[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

You’re standing at the bar waiting for the bartender to notice you so you can order that pitcher for the girls. You wave your money, you pull your v-neck down a little lower…nothing seems to be working. In a huff you turn to the person next to you to see if a team effort would be more successful.

He’s cute.

Really cute.

So, you and the guy next to you start talking and laughing and having a grand ol’ time. Eventually the bartender makes it past all those d-bags who cut in front of you and the sweet boy next to you buys you that pitcher and a round of shots to enjoy with him. (Note: In college, guys are always buying shots. Never drinks.) Read More »