It was Thanksgiving up in Canada this past weekend. I spent turkey day with my extended family, eating the most delicious of dinners (though, in all honesty, almost anything is a step-up from nightly KD), devouring pumpkin pie, and feeling a bit like an outcast.

You see, while my entire family is aware that I’m an up-and-coming journalist, I always find it interesting that no one brings up exactly what I write about or what kind of publications I’m aiming to write for after graduation. Even my successes – the fact that I just got to interview my sex-columnist hero, Dan Savage, and that I’m running my very own sex advice column in my school paper – were tiptoed around like a landmine. God forbid I say the “sex” word, I suppose.

Maybe I’m too wrapped up in this world of college where finding a condom wrapper in the kitchen garbage is just another thing to laugh at, and not used to being around people who blush at the word “vagina”. I can’t help but wonder, though, why sex is such an utterly taboo topic — why being a nearly-twenty-year-old sex columnist comes with this huge stigma, even when it’s approached in the most sex-positive and family-appropriate of ways (really, it’s not like I was going to get into the intimacies of my sex life around the dinner table).

And the thing is, this isn’t just an issue that surrounds my (apparently conservative) family. This is something that affects everyone – from the girls who refuse to masturbate because they believe their vulvas are “gross”, to the married couples who let their sex lives suffer horribly because they’re too embarrassed to put into words what exactly it is that they want in bed – we’re all being affected by sex-negativity, but where exactly does it come from?

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One time, I had sex on a pier. After my three month dance with celibacy, I finally gave in at the end of the summer, and I figured if I was going to go for it, I was going to do it with a bang (well, that and my roommates were asleep and we have very thin walls). I worked my charm with my then-friend-with-benefits, and before I knew it, there I was – butt ass naked at the end of a pier at 4am.

I’m a classy lady, what can I say?

Since that night, I’ve heard multiple stories from friends about how awkward it is to find a couple doin’ it in public, and knowing that I am one of those people, I feel a little guilty for giving in to my animal instincts out in the open (even though it was 4am and no one was around). I’ve also heard just as many stories about awesome public sex that make me think it’s not a bad thing, so long as it’s kept semi-private.

So, let’s discuss:

On one hand, everybody’s sex life needs a little spice from time to time. Gettin’ it on somewhere where there’s a chance – even a small one, that someone might see makes it just that much more exciting and risqué. Plus there’s something awfully freeing about being naked outside. Read More »

What is it with guys thinking they’re veritable gods when it comes to escapades of the sexual variety?  A new study found that while 85% of American men claimed the last person with whom they had sex reached orgasm, only 64% of American women actually had an orgasm during their most recent sexploit.  Let me pull out my calculator on this tough one…  Okay, so that means 21% of men appear to be overestimating their success rate.  Yikes.

Now, dear CC readers, let’s be honest.  I think many of us have encountered a member of that misguided 21%.  Sure, he may be funny and intelligent and wildly attractive.  But when it comes down to seductive gestures and the main event, the dude’s got as much game as Snooki at a country club.

I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation somewhere for this significant discrepancy.  And I know the blame doesn’t entirely rest on the other side of the court, ladies.  Right now I’d guarantee men are insisting, “If she would just speak up, I’d know what she likes!”  Well, he’s right.  You need to open your mouth as frequently as you open your legs.  That being said, I think you’ll agree on the more frustrating roadblocks some guys just can’t seem to overcome:

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One of the things I love most about college is surprisingly not the pub nights, the endless good-lookin’ students, or the every-night spaghetti dinners — I really do love learning. Being a journalism student has taught me so much about the world of writing. Outside of learning how to write a good lede and how to master the inverted pyramid, my school makes us take a general education elective every semester (typically), so after getting my timetable at the end of August, I was stoked to check out what electives were available in my time slot.

It might be surprising to you guys, but I kind of have a penchant for sex, so I’ve opted to take a course that is right up my alley – philosophy of love and sex.

So far, this class has been pretty cool. Every week, we’re given a question that have we half an hour to answer on paper. Our first “question of the week” was something that really got me thinking – is it more desirable to have sex with love, or sex without love?

I took a while to think about my answer, but I think I eventually went around in circles and landed at “love isn’t the important factor in desirable sex. Comfort is the most important thing.” Because we all know awkward sex = bad sex. Or at least, that’s what I concluded in my mindless philosophical ramblings. But really, what’s the difference between sex with love and sex without love? Read More »

Question for Tuffy?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and leave a message at the BEEEEEEP.

Tuffy Question: Hey, where all the lesbians at?! How come I never hear from you girls?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we are just crazy about each other, but we are still virgins.  We were originally saving our virginity for religious/moral reasons, but we both changed our minds on that and want to have intercourse now.  However, we each live in our parents’ homes and his family is super-religious.  And if someone finds out, both of us will be in deep trouble.  Apart from simply waiting, what can we do?

–All revved up with nowhere to go

Dear Revved,

What can you do?! Why, many a thing, young lass! Let’s see–

But first, let lil’ ol’ Tuffy just lil’ ol’ say: ALWAYS USE CONDOMS. In EVERY situation. In ANY genital exchange, with ANY gender. Okay?! CONDOMS. CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS.

Okay, that said, first, I want to say that I am writing this advice to you, girl, assuming that you are of consenting age. Okay? Please, young ‘uns, wait till you’re ready. You should never feel pressure to have sex before YOU are ready to do it. No one tells you what to do with your body–you are your own and only your own.

So, now the fun! Things you can do: Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am not in a serious relationship, so I don’t have sex very often. When I do, though, it always hurts. Sometimes even more than the first time. Why is that? Is there something I can do so it doesn’t hurt anymore?

A: Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry! Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Isn’t sex always easy, painless, and orgasmic in the movies? Maybe so, but what you’re experiencing is not uncommon in real life.  In fact, I suffered from the same problem myself back when I was in my twenties.  Have you seen a gynecologist about this issue? There are a number of reasons you may be experiencing pain, and your doctor might be able to help you. Read More »

Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles…watch out!  A new study indicates that there is another method of birth control that may be almost as effective as condoms in preventing pregnancy.  The best part is, it doesn’t require any pill, patch, or plastic; doesn’t include side effects of weight gain or nausea; and there’s no wasted rip’n’roll time.

It’s withdrawing, or “pulling out” as it is often referred.

The study, by sex researcher Rachel K. Jones, indicates that “if the male partner withdraws before ejaculation every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, about 4 % of the couples will become pregnant over the course of a year.”  With an 18% failure rate, the pull-out method comes pretty close to matching up with that of the condom’s 17% failure rate.

Whaaaa?  Haven’t we been taught forever that pulling out is the worst method of birth control? Haven’t we been giving up on the pleasure of condomless sex because it’s almost guaranteed that pulling out will leave us preggers? And, sidenote, condoms have a 17% failure rate? Why did no one tell me?! Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of Vanessa Cullins, M.D., Vice President of Medical Affairs at Planned Parenthood. Upon speaking with Vanessa and asking for information on STDs we began discussing HIV/AIDS. Naively, I mentioned that college kids are safe and know to protect themselves against this deadly disease. Turns out, I was wrong, and thinking that way is incredibly dangerous.]

Once in a while, we get a variation of this question via e-mail: “I’m a woman in college, and I’m wondering if I still need to be worried about getting HIV. Isn’t it pretty much under control by now?”

HIV/AIDS is definitely still a threat — especially among young people and women. Today, women account for more than one-quarter of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses, and women of color are especially affected by HIV infection and AIDS. The growing complacency about this deadly disease is alarming.  You cannot tell from looking at someone whether that person is infected with HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease (STD). That is why all sexually active people need to protect themselves against HIV. Read More »

Remember the days when a chaste woman wore a white wedding gown and saved herself for the honeymoon? Me neither. Times are changing, and so are society’s views on sex. Just look at prime-time television.

Gone are the days when the big Dawson’s Creek episode was the one that kept everyone glued to the screen trying to guess whether it was Joey and Jack, Pacey and Andy, or Dawson and Jen who finally took their relationship to the next level (remember that one?). Instead, we’ve got Blair and Chuck’s one night stand in the back of a limo (definitely remember that one!).

Outside of the small screen, relationships in the real world are dwindling. “Dating” is becoming a thing of the past, and casual sex is flourishing. The value of the once-prestigious “first time” isn’t such a big deal for many of us as it was for our mothers, aunts, or even our older sisters. Hell, my first time was not the stuff that teen romances are made of, but I walked away without any permanent emotional scars and afterwards, since it was out of the way, I was able to make better choices regarding who I chose to sleep with.

And yet, I couldn’t help but be surprised when my younger cousin proudly announced that sex was one of her favorite activities (albeit with a steady boyfriend, but still). Just a few years age difference, and there’s still a difference in our mindsets. Read More »

The world’s fattest man, Manuel Uribe, recently married his girlfriend of 2 years, Claudia Solis, in Mexico. This left many a women pondering “…and why am I still single?”

The answer is simple: You aren’t eating enough.

Studies show that overweight women have more sex than women of average weight. In fact, according to research done by the University of Hawaii and Oregon State, “Ninety-two percent of overweight women reported having a history of sexual intercourse with a man, as opposed to 87 percent of women with a normal body mass index.”

92%. N-I-N-E-T-Y-T-W-O.

That’s no small number…

Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro from the University of Hawaii’s School of Medicine said that “These results were unexpected and we don’t really know why this is the case.”

Maybe it’s because these women have a bit more to love; maybe they are self-confident without any crazy body issues; or maybe we are finally seeing that men are not attracted to super thin women, but rather to women with a more natural and curvy body.

Which would be great news for women everywhere. Especially me…as I sit here eating a bagel. So this Halloween, ladies, all I can say is: indulge in your favorite chocolatey treats!

It’ll up your chances of gettin laid!