Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Girls, on a park bench.)

Girl 1: … And he said he was afraid to sleeping with me!

Girl 2: I think he’s gay. Or not human.

Girl 3: Oh no! The cockroach clones again?

(Girls, talking at dinner.)

Girl: Today was horrible.

Girl 2: Yeah?

Girl 1: I had the worst headache. It was so bad, I couldn’t pee. Read More »

Sarabeth here. But only for a short time, because I figured I could have my other half, Matt, write this week’s article. I thought it’d be a fun change of pace for those who ever wondered what things were like from his point of view. I already know how great and wonderful he is, but I think it’s important for other girls out there to see that there are really good guys to be had and when it comes to serious relationships, guys really aren’t that different from us.

Here’s what he had to say:

There are a couple of things going on in my life that I consider pretty surreal.  I’m nearing the end of my college career and going into the real world soon. I’m getting to the point in my life where I’m making fun of the trends of younger people, which makes me feel like the old man yelling at kids to get off my yard. All these freaking celebrities are dying! All of this stuff seems unreal; the fact that I’m getting married to the girl of my dreams is the polar opposite.

Sarabeth and I started out with a weird relationship. You might know the details if you’ve followed her from the beginning of her writing for CollegeCandy (which I also think is pretty surreal, BTW; random anonymous people arguing over what she says on them there internets is just weird). Basically, we were just friends first and as I spent more time with her, I came to the realization that I was (and still am!) truly happy when I was with her. Read More »

Just recently, I heard through the grape-vine about a little video-chat sensation called Chatroulette. Now, we have all heard of Skype, a video chat used to communicate with friends for free. But creators of Chatroulette decided to float to the rebellious side of things and create a video chat for strangers. Of course, this is the next best thing since AOL chat rooms.  Me and my friends had a blasty blast with those things in seventh grade, so chances are we can have just as much fun 10 years later via video, right?

I took it upon myself to recruit my noble roommates to find out. After we had a five minute primp session in front of the webcam, we decided it was time to take the plunge into the Chatroulette universe. There we were, tilting her heads back and forth in the webcam establishing our places on screen, and nervously debating pressing Play [trust me ladies, this phase was as melo-dramatic as it sounds].  It is quite nerve-racking to toy with the possibility of being face to face with a stranger. On the internet. In my bedroom. So, with our utmost courage-we pressed play. Read More »

So according to a recent study, the Internet is making us depressed.

While the scientists behind the study link depression to the amount of time spent in a virtual world, I have a few of my own theories as to why the Internet is making us all very, very sad.

1: Checking on the Ex.  If you are about to say that you have never fallen prey to Facebooking our ex you’d better grab a fire extinguisher, because your pants are on fire.  After a break-up, as detailed by Ted Mosby on “How I Met Your Mother,” there is a clear winner and a clear loser.  And of course, you want your ex to be the loser.  So you’ll casually click on his Facebook, just to see how he’s doing (i.e. hopefully read a bunch of depressing status updates regarding his horrible life since you guys broke up, maybe some encouraging wall posts from his friends trying in vain to get him out of his depression of knowing that there was no one else for him than you…) and what do you find? NEW PICTURES OF HIM AND SOME GIRL?!  IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!  WHO IS THIS “JESSICA”??!  You click through the entire album at least twice, only to find that this little witch is now apparently dating your vile ex, and (after a small amount of clicking) she’s just gorgeous and cool and perfect.  <Insert depressing Status Update here.>

2: Online Shopping. You avoid the expensive stores in the mall because you know you can’t afford them, but there’s no avoiding that amazing Botkier bag or Louboutin pump that you happen to come across while absentmindedly surfing the web in lecture. And seeing it there, taunting you with its beauty, sends you into a deep fit of depression when you know you can’t afford it. Read More »

I like gossip. You know, the pretty harmless kind: who hooked up with who at that party last week, who has a crush on who, who was spotted doing the walk of shame… Little tidbits that don’t really matter. And really, who doesn’t like that stuff?

But as much as I enjoy hearing all the dirt about the girl down the hall from me, I draw the line somewhere. And that somewhere is online.

For those of you who don’t know, after JuicyCampus.com was shut down, another website popped up in it’s place. It’s called CollegeACB.com and it has quickly become the nightmare of many. Including myself.

According to Peter Frank, the founder of CollegeACB.com, the purpose of the site is for people to post anonymous threads and comments about “any facet of college life.”

“The College ACB or College Anonymous Confession Board seeks to give students a place to vent, rant, and talk to college peers in an environment free from social constraints and about subjects that might otherwise be taboo.”

His words are well-chosen and seemingly innocent, but as anyone who has visited this website understands, Frank is simply camouflaging what the site is really for: vicious gossip. Read More »

Record number of questions this week! Sorry to those of you who haven’t been answered–Tuffy’s trying to work her way through as many of them as she can!! In the meantime, keep sendin’ those questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and I’ll keep answerin’ them, one by one!

Confidential to Terry: Don’t stay with him if you don’t love him. Stop cheating on him and leave him. If you are living with him, please, please move back home with your parents (or other trusted relatives) right away. I wish you so much luck, girl.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about a month ago.  Even though I know he’s struggling with the break up, and it’s no walk in the park for me either, we’ve been on pretty good terms.  We chat a few times a week and haven’t fought since the break up.  But I have a favor to ask of him, and I know it’s gonna hurt him because he’ll think I don’t trust him.  I need him to erase the pictures I sent him while we were dating.  It was long distance and I know it was dumb to take the pictures in the first place, but now they’re there, and he has them. Read More »

Texting a breakup? Not OK.

We live, breathe and flirt in a world of high-tech, digital romance. And I can’t say with a straight face that I am not a user and abuser of texting/IMing/Facebook chatting when it comes to communicating with members of the opposite sex. But there are some instances where no Tweet can do justice to a face-to-face interaction when you’re wheeling and dealing in the game of love. Talk about bad romance.

The Break Up:
Remember when Berger dumped Carrie via Post-it note on Sex and the City? Well that sucked. But at least he made the effort to find a pen and paper. I’d take a post-it over a break-up text message any day. In my opinion, it is never OK to end relations via a short message service. Since when is a break-up considered a short message? Think about it. (Exception: You’ve only been dating for a week, and he’s already named your unborn child. Take the quickest possible escape route available. NOW.)

TMI on the Internet:
Making plans on each other’s Facebook walls. Really? Did you lose their number? No one wants to read this: “Hey babe, why don’t you come over around 7:30. We’ll watch a movie or something… but we probably won’t see very much. LOL! Ps. my roommate’s in the library for the night… bring condoms! You know my favorite kind.” All of your mutual friends are currently puking on their Newsfeeds right now, and so is your new-to-Facebook and recently friend-request-accepted mother. Read More »

Wait...you do WHAT for a living?

Thanksgiving gets increasingly more stressful for me every single year. If I’m not having nightmares about the stuffing running out before it gets passed to me, then I’m biting my nails over the fact that I’ll have to explain my career to my family sixteen times. And let’s not even get started on the fact that I’ve misplaced my expandable waistband jeans and turkey-print mumu. There’s no way I’m sitting down at that table wearing anything else. The last thing I can afford is a busted pair of pants with no buttons and a broken zipper.

I’m pretty sure my own parents can’t figure out exactly how blogging works or how I’m making money — so I have no idea how to even explain it to my grandmother. For years I thought she was computer literate, but it sadly turns out she was convinced that the Windows Paint program was actually the Internet. It certainly explains why she was adamant that my e-mails were never getting to her, but it will also make explaining blogging to her quite the challenge. Perhaps my best bet is to just replace her entire World Book 1965 collection with book covers that say “by Jenni” and tell her that I’ve been writing outdated encyclopedias since graduation.

Even worse than having to explain blogging to a 176-year-old (give or take a few decades) is having to beat around the bush when my younger relatives actually ask to see the blogs. While I’m writing for six different blogs, there is not one that’s appropriate for family members to see. If I’m not writing about one-night stands or pee pranks, then I’m giving advice to elderly men on how to date financially desperate women. And I’ve just ruled out showing this one because I know someone will tattle on me to my grandmother, which means a month from now when my siblings are opening up Chanukah envelopes with crisp 10 dollar bills, I’ll be opening a package marked hazardous that’s filled with my grandmother’s old dentures.

My anxiety ulcers aren’t just coming from having to explain my blogging career, but also from having to spend time with my extended family. When I was little, cramming 12 cousins into 2 beds seemed like a fun challenge. But now that everyone’s grown up (and gained weight) it’s more like every man for himself — if you don’t get a bed or a couch, make yourself cozy under the kitchen table. And beds are nothing compared to the fight over the remote. So help me god if anyone thinks they’re watching anything besides 30 Rock on Thursday night.

For a second I thought that maybe I was overdoing the stress and exaggerating the whole situation. But then my mom just called and gave me the annual lecture about not going out of my way to make my sister cry this year and I realized that I might be better off spending the holiday in my apt — TV remote and bed to myself.

Imagine that you move into your new dorm room only to find that your internet connection isn’t working. Do you feel a little frustrated, mildly anxious, or totally panicked?

If you chose Option C, you might just be an internet addict. Don’t laugh—a growing number of doctors believe that internet addiction is a serious problem, one that’s on par with established dependencies like alcoholism and compulsive shopping. There’s even a brand-new internet rehab center in Fall City, Washington called reSTART that aims to cure netheads of their wicked ways in just 45 days by reconnecting them to “the real world.” Ironically, the treatment center is located less than 20 minutes away from Microsoft’s corporate headquarters in Redmond.

So far, reSTART has treated a grand total of one patient: 19-year-old Ben Alexander, who says that he used to spend up to 17 hours playing World of Warcraft before he checked in. Ben’s paying a whopping $14,500 for the privilege of participating in rehab activities like “Discovery Quest” and “Weekly Shopping/Planning” (seriously, look at reSTART’s sample daily schedule). That’s more than the price of tuition for PA residents at Penn State’s flagship campus. Read More »

Dear Internet,

Happy (alleged) Birthday! I hope this letter finds you well and spyware free. It’s been 40 years since you first transferred data between computers and look how far you’ve come! Just this morning, I Googled “cat playing piano” and, within seconds, you provided me with a scintillating YouTube video that made me giggle and set the mood for the day.

I would like to take this time to tell you how much I cherish you, Internet. You have given me a place to unleash my inner-stalker, and you let me do it in the privacy of my own bedroom (which is much less shady than the white van I used to camp out in).  For this, my dignity and I thank you. I sleep peacefully at night knowing Facebook and Twitter will be there in the morning. It’s better (and at times more satisfying) than having a boyfriend.

Without you and Craigslist, I would never have bought that T.V. from a complete stranger. He later asked me on a date and, if things go well, I will name our first-born child after you. Even if it doesn’t end in an Interweb love child, you’ve thoughtfully provided me with a back-up plan. Online dating. You’ve made it so I can type in my criteria, and almost instantaneously I will find my soul’s perfect mate. If I could make it so, I would have you as the maid of honor at my eHarmony union.

Internet, you let me watch my favorite television shows online on those days when I’m just too lazy to leave my bed. And that happens often. When I do finally decide to come out of hibernation, you will tell me the exact weather so I can plan my outfit accordingly and then give me the directions to guide me on my way. You cater to my every whim both at home and on my phone, and there is nothing that will keep you from me (besides forgetting to pay my bill sometimes). Read More »