Diane Farr has had her fair share of life experience. From starring in Showtime’s Californication to CBS’s NUMB3RS Farr is known for being an accomplished actress, but now Farr can add accomplished author to her resume as well. In her two published books, The Girl Code and Kissing Outside the Lines, and her third, Shades of America, on the way, Diane delves into the world of dating, dealing with issues that go far beyond is he or isn’t he interested in me.

Because when we think about dating that’s what we all think about, isn’t it? The cute meet. The crush. The will they or won’t they. The first date. After that, if we ever get passed that, it all seems like it’s smooth sailing. But that’s not always the case. Especially for women who end up dating someone outside of their race.

Farr draws on her own experiences with interracial dating and the difficulties that can arise with these complicated situations. She discusses her experience, as well as her marriage and her children, and offers some pretty helpful advice along the way.

Want a sneak peak? Check out her list dos and don’ts for dating outside your own race.

DON’T let other people define your relationship for you – for better or worse. Other people’s feelings are not facts.

DO take the time to enjoy and maybe even admire any new slice of American culture you might learn from someone of a different cultural background. Be that foods, holidays, favorite books or anything else that’s new to you.

Read More »

Would you date an African-American? How about an Indian? Or a Caucasian?

Online dating services want to know. When you fill out a profile, they’ll often ask you questions about what kind of people you prefer to date, including questions regarding ethnicity. They seem innocent enough…but are they?

I had a really thought-provoking conversation about it with a friend the other day. “I was sitting behind somebody who was filling out an online dating application,” she said, “and they put down that they preferred not to date Asian people.”

“Yeah?” I said.

“I couldn’t believe it!” she went on. “I thought that was the most racist thing I had ever seen!”

And I couldn’t believe she thought that. “You’re kidding, right?” I said. “People are allowed to have preferences about the looks of the people they date. It’s not racist.”

I can’t remember what the results of our discussion were, but I do remember how intrigued I was by the thought that ethnicity-related preference questions were such a hot topic. She really got me thinking. Were the questions themselves racist? Was somebody who didn’t want to date people in a specific ethnic group really racist? Read More »

Sometimes, when I go out with my boyfriend in public, people stare…and stare…and stare. Unfortunately, it’s not because I’m drop-dead gorgeous or because my boyfriend is a total stud (although to me he is). It’s because his skin is brown and mine is white.

Before I go any further, I’m going to offer up a disclaimer: a lot of people don’t stare. Most people don’t even give a second look. And I don’t assume that those who do are staring only because we’re an interracial couple…but it sure does seem the most likely reason.

Honestly, when I started dating him, I was expecting the most conservative of the conservative white folk to be the ones who stared. As much as we’re living in the 21st century here, interracial relationships are still a little too futuristic for some people.

So imagine my surprise when it turned out to be all the Indians who stared. Read More »

“In 2004, 26.5% of black males ages 18 to 24 were enrolled in college versus 36.5% of black women that age, according to the American Council on Education’s most recent statistics”.

Which is one of the reasons why black women are dating more white men then ever before, USA Today claims.

The hot button article appeared last Sunday, stating, among other things, that “American black women are among the least likely to marry”. The reason for this low marriage rate? The negative statistics aimed at young black men.

According to the article, recent numbers have shown that black men are “seven times more likely to be incarcerated than white men and more than twice as likely to be unemployed.”

Combine those figures with a growing number of black women frustrated with the ‘high rates of successful black men choosing blondes”, and you’ve got women ready for a change.

“I think a lot of black women are realizing or feeling that the pickings are slim,” one such women is quoted as saying in the article, while another one claims she witnessed “All the black men literally [pushing] (us) out the way to talk to the blondes” at a party she once attended. Read More »