Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!

Hi Dude,

I have a question that’s been bothering me for a while. I started hooking up with this guy in early February and I’ve done things to him (you know what I mean), but I’ve never slept with him. In April, he started asking me if I’d have sex with him. I said I would, but due to various reasons, it never happened, which was fine with me. About a month ago, he came to visit me (he’s home for the summer and lives 2 hours away). That night, after going down on him, I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He replied, “I can’t, because I really like you.” I was really confused and when I asked him to clarify, he
said that he really respected me and liked me and, therefore, couldn’t do that to me. He also said something about not wanting to ruin things between us. Read More »

These days, women are suckers for anything labeled “lite,” whether it’s cookies , ice cream or even bacon-flavored spread (um, WTF?).  It was only a matter of time before we started taking our intimacy lite too. Intimacy lite is a new way of dating, bridging the gap between casual sex and full blown relationships.

Two of my favorite sex writers, Em and Lo, recently posted a piece about intimacy lite. As they say, “If you’ve ever spooned your booty call or held hands with your one-night stand, you’re familiar with intimacy lite… commitment-phobes (i.e. 99.9% of male college students) are especially prone to indulging in intimacy lite, and this often sends a mixed message, because if his mouth is saying one thing and his body is saying another, then you’re probably going to listen to whichever message you like best.”

I had to read their post a few times for it to fully sink in, and I suggest you do too if you suspect you’re in an intimacy lite situation. My intimacy lite story is probably a pretty typical one and it goes like this: I meet a boy. We have amazing chemistry, brain hormones go wild, love-at-first sight ensues, and is then harshly interrupted by reality. Read More »

When I was a freshman I was fortunate to meet my best friends in the world right there in my hall. We were all randomly placed there, but it took no time to realize that fate had put us there together. The 8 of us hit it off immediately and began spending every moment together.

As we went through our 4 years of college and all of the experiences that come with it, we turned to one another for advice, feedback and any information the others might have to shed light on our situation. And yes, to this day, that includes the juicy details of our late-night (or midafternoon!) exploits.

As soon as a guy would leave the room, my best friends and I would gather to dish it all out. Every. last. bit. From the quality of the hookup to the size of his….friend….. we’d let it all out. I knew everything (and I mean everything) that went on between my friends and their boys between the sheets. More than those boys would ever want to know about.

But after a particularly juicy recap recently I started to wonder if guys do the same thing. Do guys sit around and give a play by play (or blow by blow….) of their late night trysts? I know they like to add the notches to their bedposts, but do they share the deets like my friends do? I asked a guy. Here’s the skinny: Read More »

If I look out my living room window I can see American Apparel. When I peruse my favorite websites, I am bombarded with the girls only partially dressed in American Apparel clothes. When I need a white tank top because I spilled salsa on mine, I head to the nearest American Apparel.

In other words, I know American Apparel.

Their stores are chock full of ridiculous things I would never wear, but they also happen to carry some seriously awesome essentials. You may have to pick through the sparkly unitards to find em, but they are most definitely worth the work. Don’t know what to look for? That’s why I am here.

I give you: The Best Things (EVER) at American Apparel. Read More »

I’m not sold on the idea of having a soulmate. And I’m not NOT sold on it, either. BUT, when a guy refers to me as his “soulmate”, am I out of line to think that he might well, you know, like me as more than a friend? Right. I totally agree. I would not be out of line to think that. So let me tell you a story.

Not all that long ago, I started a romantic fling with a guy who I kinda sorta knew. I wasn’t all that taken into him physically, but emotionally…I couldn’t help it. I mean, I tried not to be, but with every single conversation we had…he baited me with compliments and bathed me in pet names.

He made me mix cds, sent me flowers, wrote me songs, and made me paintings. All within the first three weeks. And I KNOW, this should be a bad sign. I KNOW, these kinds of things should take TIME to develop…but I can’t help it! I like to feel things right away! I’m intense and spontaneous, so maybe I deserve all of the nightmare that is to come with this story.

Anyway, I was under the impression that things were going pretty well. But then he would tell me about dates with other girls. And this was fine. Really, I mean I was, after all, still going on dates with other guys. But then would come the heavily emotional talks until 7am and then the DAYS without talking. The night after he told me that he thought I was his soulmate, we then went four full days without any contact whatsoever. Not even a text. Read More »

Looks like kids are still being weird about sex.

Researchers in Berkeley, California recently surveyed more than 900 middle school and high school students for a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

When presumably asked what constitutes keeping one’s virginity, “70 percent of kids 12 to 16 believe they’re virgins even if they’ve had oral sex – and 16 percent believe anal sex doesn’t count either.”

Look, once you start engaging in sexual activity, your virgin status goes hazy. Sure, you might not have done it, but if you’ve done everything under the sun except it, your technical virginity basically becomes a moot point. If you’re sexually experienced, you’re sexually experienced.

The “I’m still a virgin!” declaration after engaging in other sexual activities seems to be rooted in our society’s desperate fear of being labeled. Teenagers (especially girls) ultimately want to be “good”, but their hormones are pulling them in a completely different direction.

Doing everything except the big “penis into the vagina” thing allows someone to explore their sexuality while still remaining pure in the eyes of society.

Sex is a big thing. I don’t want to deny that. But the more pressure we put on teenagers about it, the more they’re going to do anything to make up excuses. Read More »