You start off with a few rum and Diets at home before heading to the house party. You couldn’t possibly walk in sober and who knows how much access you’ll have to booze once you get inside? You’re sipping on your last pre-drink when your friends are finally ready to go, so you chug it and follow them out.

Upon arriving, you say your hellos and shove your way through the crowd to the keg parked in the backyard. You fill your blue Solo cup (“What? They make these things in blue!?”) then meet back up with your friends. You sip, you chat, then you wave your hand violently in the air when the party host asks who’s up for a game of flip cup.

You take your spot at the table, strategically placing yourself next to the very cute boy who lives there. You do a few practice flips, wet the table in front of you a bit for more cup traction and get ready for the game to start.

Seven rounds later, your team is victorious, you and your boy-toy are hugging it out and you’re feeling less than steady. Ok, so you’re drunk, but it’s good drunk. Perfect drunk. The kind that will easily take you through the rest of the night but still leave you feeling a-OK in the morning.

As you begin to walk away from the table to find your friends, the cute boy grabs you.

“Wanna take a shot?” He asks.

“Obvi,” you answer, smitten. Read More »

Last weekend the biggest man whore on campus asked me to go home with him. My first reaction was, “Hell yeah! HE KNOWS WHO I AM…and he wants to do me!!!” Which was immediately followed by, “Ew, do I have to get tested for STDs cuz he just talked to me!?”

I said no that night (and by “said no” I mean “spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor vomiting up Jimmy Johns and Jameson”), but I have been thinking about it ever since. I mean, we are Facebook friends now, so the opportunity is obvi still there.

I have always been a big fan of pro/con lists, so I am going to make one here. So, here it is: The Pros and Cons of Hooking Up With a Major Man Whore. I hope this helps if you are ever presented with such a conundrum. Read More »

Remember when you were in High School and you saw your teacher in the supermarket, buying milk or some crap, and it was all “Ms. Jones, you drink milk!??“

Suddenly in the dairy aisle you had the realization that teachers are people and all of sudden you stopped being such a godd*mn prick in your classes.

These days, it seems that there is equal amount of shock when teachers, GASP, use the Internet. Now I know most students probably already realize teachers use the net tubes to do research or write on the library message board, but what about when you find them on Facebook or Myspace? Should they even be allowed? I mean seriously, isn’t that where kids openly talk about their debauchery and then get all ‘you read my diary!’ when they get grounded for the pictures they posted of them doing shots of Jameson with underwear on their head?

Apparently, yes, and ALSO, according to people in Missouri, Facebook and Myspace are directly related to teacher/student sexual relationships. Genius.

In Missouri in particular, a rash of student-teacher sexual relationships have spawned crackdowns on social-networking friendships. Web site badbadteacher.com, which keeps track of teachers disciplined, arrested and convicted of inappropriate behavior with students, lists 11 such teachers from Missouri within the last two years.

Which is why state legislator Jane Cunningham is sponsoring a bill in the Missouri House of Representatives that would ban elementary school teachers from having social-networking friendships with their students. (Cnn.com)

Here are some tips for parents who think Facebook and Myspace are responsible for teacher/student sexual relationships. Read More »