All I want to do right now is compose a love letter to Robert Downey Jr. Instead, I have to slaughter his new movie, Due Date, so that you lovely people don’t waste your money on it. But afterward, I fully plan on writing a Taylor Swift-esque ode to an aviator-clad Robert Downey Jr.

It’s lucky for me that the plot can be summed up in one sentence, because it makes my job oh-so-easy. Unfortunately, that’s not so lucky for the audience of this film. After an airport mishap, Peter (Downey Jr.) is forced to travel across the country with Ethan (Zach Galifianakis) in order to make it to LA in time for his child’s birth… and nothing funny ensues. It’s Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, minus the comedy.

I laughed out loud twice – seriously, twice – which is pretty bad for a movie that delivers one-liner after one-liner and unrealistic situation after unrealistic situation. There is a clever line or two in there, but not clever enough for me to remember what they are off the top of my head. People may say that I sound like a bitter film critic, but I’m talking about a movie that INTENTIONALLY parallels itself to Two and a Half Men. They had it coming, and they freaking knew it.

Robert Downey Jr. is the saving grace of this film. No, not Galifianakis who plays Ethan in a way that’s completely interchangeable with his character from The Hangover. If Downey Jr. had not been in this film, I can guarantee that I would have walked out within the first half hour (actually, I probably would have walked out anyway if I didn’t have a review to write…). He plays the straight man to Galifianakis’s outlandish aspiring-actor character very well. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s damn sexy when he gets angry. And in a suit. And in aviator sunglasses.

Jamie Foxx also makes a quick appearance, (I’m pretty sure I audibly sighed in relief), but unfortunately his role is small therefore he can’t help carry the film. There is a beautifully shot scene that takes place in the Grand Canyon, which doesn’t even feel like it belongs in this movie just because of how extraordinarily it is filmed.

I really wasn’t lying when I said that Due Date intentionally parallels itself to Two and a Half Men. I honestly laughed out loud more when I read that Speidi was bankrupt than when I was watching this movie. Seriously, if you want to laugh, do yourself a favor and just re-watch The Hangover on DVD instead.

Click here to get Meredith’s take on other new releases.

But as we got older, many of us learned that the story of Martin Luther King, Jr.was a bit more complicated than that. The FBI harassment and King’s infidelity to his wife, the tragically beautiful Coretta Scott King, tarnished the image we’d all held onto since elementary school. America’s original icon for change was actually a complex person with concrete fears, anxieties, and, yes, flaws.

And now that Steven Spielberg has finally gotten the green light from the King children to produce and possibly direct a biopic about MLK, Jr., how much light will this ambitious project really shed on such a familiar man and icon?

We watched Mr. Spielberg tell the great untold story of a nineteenth-century slave ship in Amistad. Saving Private Ryan tugged at the old heartstrings and grabbed five Oscars. Obviously, Spielberg loves a good, heart-wrenching story and few stories are more bittersweet than that of Dr. King.

But despite his ability to create such monumental films, how will Steven Spielberg portray Martin Luther King, Jr.? No matter what he does, there will be complaints. A saintly portrayal of King will be condemned as being sugar-coated and weak, but really delving into the ugly stuff will make it seem disrespectful. The King children won’t be any help, either. They have been notoriously controlling when it comes to their father’s life rights, even suing USA Today and CBS for using the “I Have A Dream” speech without paying.

It was a tough battle for Dreamworks to get the go-ahead for the biopic, but even now, siblings Bernice and Martin are not happy. Ideally, the children wouldn’t have any say over their famous father’s Hollywood treatment, but Dreamworks doesn’t want to make a movie that all three children don’t approve of. And while we all know Spielberg can do warm and fuzzy (think E.T.), it’s the more shocking stuff, like the combat scenes in Saving Private Ryan, that he does best. We know he’s not afraid to get into the grittier stuff, so how gritty is he willing to get with such an iconic historical figure?

And then there’s the question of who will take on the role of King. The movie is still very much in the beginning stages, but Denzel Washington, Jamie Foxx and Will Smith are already shortlisted. It’s easy to see why, but none of them would work, as their past work and images would follow them into this role. Denzel Washington is too old (while he’s still handsome, King was assassinated at age 39). Besides, the irony of the man who played Malcolm X then playing King, X’s perceived ideological opposite, is a tough one to swallow. Smith is known, at best, for his fine portrayal of Muhammad Ali and, at worse, for bombs like Wild, Wild West. Jamie Foxx, on the other hand, seems to work best in biopics, but doesn’t have the thespian persona to carry King. The good folks at Dreamworks are too smart to gamble such a huge project on a nobody actor, so the role will probably fall to one of the go-to serious black actors, Washington, Smith or Foxx. Yawn.

Even if the actor nails his role, there will most likely still be questions about who, exactly, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was. And that’s the problem with any biopic; a complicated human being, especially one working in something so much bigger than himself, is very difficult to capture in two and a half hours.

I am worried about the final product of a movie like this. With so many opportunities for it to go wrong, I wonder if Spielberg can make it right. I guess at the end of the day the most important thing the movie can do is get us interested enough to learn more about King through biographies, documentaries, and speech transcripts and to keep King’s story alive and in our minds year round, instead of just on the 3rd Monday in January every year.

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Candy Spelling reaches out to Tori.

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Mary Kate and Ashley play pin up.

Kevin Smith decides to lose weight…after breaking a toilet.

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The Barack Obama and John McCain talking dolls.

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Sarah Jessica Parker does her part for the election.

Pink just totally threw John Mayer under the bus.

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I think I happen to be one of the only people who is genuinely excited, maybe a bit more excited than the actors.

Is this strange? I don’t know, if you don’t think sitting on your couch judging “practically perfect people” as they sob, sashay down crimson carpet in their designer best, and fake happiness for the other actors when they steal their award, then….you don’t know what fun is.

When the Oscars are on, I am in for the night. The only thing that would make it better would be if I had my own Wolfgang Puck to dust gold onto little Oscar shaped chocolates.

On a serious note: I am beyond impressed with the actors/actresses nominated this year.

Receiving an Academy Award is one of the highest honors an actor can receive, so when someone is recognized for something they have worked years for, for an art they love, and for a performance that included blood, sweat and tears….witnessing their gratification and that piece of history is pretty emotional.

Though I love the fashion, the speeches are my favorite. Hearing their gratitiude and excitement makes them HUMAN. How can anyone forget Halle Berrys emotional acceptance speech? Or when history was made when Sidney Poitier was the first African American to win Best Actor. Those moments are historical.

This year the Best Actor nominees are: George Clooney, Daniel Day-Lewis, Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortenson and Tommy Lee Jones.

My pick: Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood, even though I’d like to have Johnny Depp’s babies.

Best Actress nominees: Cate Blanchett, Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Laura Linney, and Ellen Paige.

My pick: Even though the fan favorite will be newbie Ellen Paige for Juno, Cate Blanchett is ridiculously talented and deserves the award, for Elizabeth: The Golden Age and for being able to consistantly perform.

Some of my favorite past Oscar moments?

-Three 6 Mafia winning Best Original Song for the film Hustle and Flow. It’s almost a joke.

-Cuba Gooding Jr.’s acceptance speech for winning Best Actor in a Supporting Role in Jerry Maguire.

-Roberto Benini, from Life is Beautiful, running across the top of people’s chairs to accept his award for Best Actor in a non-English speaking role.

-Jamie Foxx’s tearful acceptance speech for his performance in Ray.

-James Cameron kicking ass and taking names in 1997 with Titanic.

-Beyonce, who still managed to Bedazzle the shit out of her Oscar gown.

AND, Jon Stewart as host.

So what’s your take on it all, boring….or riveting? I happen to love everything from The Red Carpet to the closing curtains, but that’s just me and though it is long, its the perfect excuse to drink wine or order pizza.

Who would you like to see win this year (if you get around to watching)????