We thought that we would brighten up your Saturday morning if you’re browsing CollegeCandy hungover/still drunk from last night, and show you this cute and funny mashup of two fishy flicks, Jaws and Finding Nemo. Obviously these two movies are about two very different fish, but that’s what makes the combination of the two so funny! The serious scenes from the horror classic, Jaws, mixed in with the goofy Disney font and the peppy music from Finding Nemo create a whole new movie that I would probably go see. Check it out below! Read More »

My parent’s, friends, family and cat understand:come August 1st, I will loyally sit on my couch with snacks galore, cell phone/GChat/Facebook turned off, eyes glued to the TV. Why, you ask?

Two words:
Shark Week.

Maybe you’ve never heard of it before.  Maybe you’re scratching your head because it sounds like a cheap ’60s horror flick.  Maybe you really just don’t care and will resort to watching numerous Jersey Shore reruns on MTV. If that’s the case, I hope you accept my deepest of apologies, because you are missing out on the greatest thing to happen to TV since, well, TV.

What makes Shark Week so damn wonderful? Why should a bunch of college girls give up going to the beach to watch the beach on TV? Simple:

It’s Like Watching a Car Crash
Who would ever think sitting on your couch and watching a bunch of 1,000 pound fish swim around the ocean with their bloody mouths half open would be entertaining? This guy. You can’t look away. You sit down to watch a quick Shark Episode (there are six new ones this year) and you literally cannot leave.  I’m serious. Your life slows down, and suddenly you’ve been sitting on your couch for 5 hours watching sharks give you the stank eye through the high-def screen.

The Serial Killer Syndrome
I read in a book once that people are fascinated with serial killers because they’ve never met one themselves.  Not in a way where they want to meet one, but in a weird way we feel like they don’t exist. I think the same things goes with sharks.  We know they exist, but we’ve never come face to face with a living, breathing, blood thirsty shark. (And those who have most likely didn’t live to tell the tale…) That means, watching a week fulfilled with stories about them is like a creepy and addicting fairytale. And it’s great. Read More »

I do not swim in the ocean. This is not because I hate the beach. I mean, I do hate the beach but that hatred has nothing to do with why I don’t swim in the Atlantic or Pacific. I don’t swim in those bodies of water because sharks live in the ocean and sharks eat people.

My fear of being eaten alive by sharks has become so irrational that I cannot swim in a pool alone without thinking of being thrashed about. Of course, the obvious starting point for this fear is Jaws. But lots of people have seen Jaws and can swim in the ocean just fine. For me, the real cause of of my phobia is Discovery’s Shark Week.

I’ve been watching this week long event since I was 14. My parents originally thought that watching the “edutainment” would lead me to realize that my chances are getting attacked and killed by a shark are less then dying in a car accident. To that, I submit two responses…

1)Hah! Propaganda spread by the shark-controlled media.

2) Regardless of chance, I would rather not swim in the ocean then EVER be that .5%.

You think Shark Week is trying to educate you on how misunderstood Sharks are, but if you read between the lines, you will see the truth. Here is a breakdown of one day’s (literally, Monday the 28^th) worth of Shark Week shows.

Sharkbite: Surviving Great Whites

People share stories on how they got pieces of themselves eaten by sharks. Title suggests you can survive an attack. The truth? Sharks let these people go to lure you into the water. Read More »