So you are not going on spring break… I share your pain. I will be returning home, where it is also cold, to substitute teach bratty kids instead of drinking pina coladas in the sun. FML.

It sucks listening to everyone talk about their plans, but it will suck more when they all come back with sweet beach tans, and I, well, still glow in the dark. Seriously, the other day my best friend called me pasty (harsh, but true).

And this, my friends, is why I am looking for a bottled glow.

Tanning beds scare me with their cancerous connotations. Spray tans scare me too; I don’t want to look like I have a bad case of Lindsey Lohan. So I am going to suggest to you some of the best self tanners out there. I know – self-tanners sound pretty intimidating as well. I will admit I had a horror story experience with one in the 8th grade. Here’s me, so excited to wear my new green halter top, turned totally orange, passed my crush walking down the street. Ultimate humiliation. But, don’t let that turn you off of self tanners! That situation was caused by a serious lack of knowledge about what I was doing or what kind of product to use.

The great thing about the products below is that while they are not an instant bronze color, they will gradually give you a natural looking, healthy tanned glow. Hopefully this will help you keep up with your Spring Breakin’ roommates without coming back to campus looking like the orange eighth grade version of me. Read More »

As soon as summer announces itself with its warm winds and bright, shiny mornings, I want to lay out and bake in the sun. Nothing feels quite like floating in a pool – book in one hand, ice cold beverage in the other – absorbing those delicious rays. And nothing looks quite as good with almost every article of summer clothing than some nice, tan legs.

I am fully aware that skin cancer is scary business and not worth the fake-baking/laying out for hours on end. I also have a pretty healthy fear of getting wrinkley in the future, so, to protect myself, I wear my sunscreen. But I recently realized that maybe sunscreen wasn’t enough, and getting my glow a different way may be a better option.

I started investigating.

My former roommate loved sprays, but I personally don’t trust myself with them. I am mildly OCD and need a lotion to ensure I’m not missing anything. I went on a quest to find the perfect lotion and came across a new product: Jergens Natural Glow Express. It looked just like the rest, except that it claimedto show results in 3 days. Conveniently, I was heading on vacation in 3 days, so I grabbed it. Read More »

Let’s put something out on the table. I’m pale. Year-round, unless I am recovering from a painful sunburn, any healthy glow I may have is courtesy of Cover Girl and a fluffy blush brush. I’m also not a fan of leather-face a la Rachel Zoe, so I’ve become quite intimate with the self-tan aisles of various department and beauty stores.

But there’s a problem with most self-tanners I’ve tried. And that problem is that they suck, in various degrees and respects.

I had high hopes for Jergen’s Natural Glow, the daily moisturizer that gives you gradual, but the color was so “gradual” that I gave up my daily application routine after a week of no results. I decided to try Mark bronzing self-tanner and spent the next day furiously scrubbing it off after looking like my tan was applied by a child painting with watercolors.

And Victoria’s Secret must be that she moonlights as an exotic dancer, because the only glow VS Bare Bronze gave me was that orange “my work uniform consists of 4-inch clear heels and glitter” glow.

I’d been mourning the loss of my summer tan on a daily basis since the beginning of the semester, until I came upon Elizabeth Grant Soleil Smart tinted leg lotion. And after a week of slathering it on, I’m just about ready to bathe in it. Read More »

Being Irish-Italian carries with it a few unfortunates. I’ve got a temper that can flair up out of nowhere and an unearthly hunger for all things bread. I’m also pale. Redheaded and pale. Pale.

Because of my unsightly whiteness, I find most self-tanners look completely ridiculous on me. I don’t just turn Lindsay Lohan orange, I turn Tropicana orange.

Until this summer, I had resigned myself to carrying the semi-albino torch forever, scoping on the SPF 45 and radiating whiteness like Kiki Dunst on a ski hill. But this May, I stumbled across a product that didn’t just make good on its promise: it came through with flying colors of tan.

Jergens Natural Glow Firming Daily Moisturizer may have a long name, but that’s because it does more than your average body moisturizer. Not only does this product “firm” that cellulite, it also gives an all over summer glow that actually looks real. And unlike those other self-tanners, it doesn’t smell like musty, wet dirt. Read More »