D. Trump has always been pretty obnoxious, but lately it’s getting a little out of hand and downright offensive. Obviously, I’m all for freedom of speech, but, uh, there is a difference between respectfully stating your opinion and acting like a spoiled two-year old throwing a tantrum.

With the rise in Donny’s public outbursts it’s a wonder people are still backing him for a presidential run (though I think it’s more democrats than republicans at this point….) The truth is, this guy is like an older, more annoying and less attractive Kanye. He loves himself like Kanye, he picks the worst times to express himself like Kanye, and he’s sending the nation into a tizzy like Kanye. (Sidenote: Should we be embarrassed as a nation that we’re just as upset about Trump being borderline racist as we are about Kanye hurting Taylor Swift’s feelings? Just a thought….)

Anyways, here are Trump’s most recent Kanye moments, which have all happened in the last month. Obviously, Trump, being the best at everything, had to out-Kanye Kanye.

Apparently putting your baby’s birth in the newspaper just isn’t done? Okay Don Don.
The Trumpster made a public request for President Obama’s birth certificate. Again and again and again. Which is fine, many other presidents have been called in to question before. But to react to Obama’s newspaper birth announcement with something as insensitive and ignorant as, “His family was poor, how could they have done such a thing?” Come on, D. Trump. Were you throwing back a bottle of Hennessey before making that little statement?

Black people can’t be that smart? Wow. Just….wow.
Shortly after his public records requests, Trump decided to pick another fight, questioning our man-of-the-hour’s credentials. Namely, his degrees from Harvard and Columbia.  D. Trump “can’t fathom that a black man can be that smart!” Well, Donald, I can’t fathom how you have gotten so many women to marry you. Or respect you.

Hitting below the belt, D.T.?
America’s favorite funny guy Jerry Seinfeld recently pulled out of a charity event hosted by Trump’s son after hearing some of Trump’s remarks about the president. Can’t blame the guy, right? Well, Trump can! He Called his show (The Marriage Ref, set to return June 26th) a failure and attacked Jerry as well. Now that’s class! Meanwhile, although Seinfeld won’t be participating in the event, he will still be donating to both St. Jude and Trump’s son’s foundation. See Trump, that is how you publicly bitch slap someone.

Attacking ANOTHER TV Star?
Trump’s accusations on the President have not been sitting well with a lot of celebs, clearly. One of those being Letterman, who publicly called him a racist on his late night show. Donald fired back with a nasty little letter pulling out of his appearance on May 18th. Which, everyone knows, will only hurt Sir Trumps a Lot. I mean, what is he without all the media attention?

You think they’re stupid!?
“Our leaders are stupid, they are stupid people.” Interesting statement from a guy that the GOP, some of the stupid people he is referring to, is praying doesn’t run.

Sigh. The Donald. I’m just waiting to hear his response to Obama cutting off his show last night to address the nation. That’s gotta sting, huh Trumpeezy?

Isn’t Bart, like, 40 now?

Obama’s new budget explained.

Old people playing Wii. Hilarious.

Do Paula and Kara have some American Idol drama?

Jerry Seinfeld dabbles in reality TV.

Must-have beauty tools.

Chris Brown enrolls in anger management.

Who should Megan Fox date next?

Time for spring cleaning? Start with that closet of yours.

Thrill guys with the chase. 

Looking for a job? Part-time is the new full time.

Boyfriend jeans are in for spring. Don’t worry – you don’t need a BF to rock the trend.

Happy Hanukkah, people!

In honor of the eight days of Hanukkah, we decided to do a tribute to our 8 favorite Hanukkah celebrators (also known as Jews). But then we decided that 8 just wasn’t enough; there are too many good ones! So, we upped it to eight Jews for each of the eight days.

Yes, it’s a lot of Jewish, but let’s be real – Hanukkah gets totally ignored this time of year, so we thought it would be nice to give a little shout-out to the people not dreaming of a white Christmas. You know, the ones dreaming of a little Mu Shu on Christmas eve. Click on any of our favorite Jews to see why we love em so much (and why anyone – Jew or non Jew – will love them too!).

Fact: I love famous men. Love them. No matter what movie or TV show I’m watching or what gossip magazine I’m reading, I can always pick out at least one person that I would totally ride the Sexy Train to Dirtytown with. (Example? The other day I was chatting with my lady friend about the do-ability of Jerry Seinfeld. No joke.)

But despite all their fame and money and ready access to plastic surgery, there are some celebrities that are too terrifying even for a fame skank like myself to consider acceptable. Here’s a rundown of the top five male celebs I’d rather saw my leg off than get nekkid with.

5. Donald Trump

The thing about Donald Trump is, he has a lot of qualities that tend to suck me in. He’s grossly rich, he’s arrogant, he’s ostentatiously tasteless – though I know that these traits aren’t generally recognized as good, I have a total weakness for all of them. But when it comes to Donald? Yuck. In him they’re so pronounced, they make an already unattractive dumpy dude even ickier. Lucky for him, Manhattan is crawling with ladies looking for a free dinner; lucky for me, I’m not one of them.

4. Carrot Top

Carrot Top started out merely as an obnoxious, unfunny comedian with a really crappy name, until one night when he was hit by a drunk truck driver hauling a tankard full of toxic waste. Then Carrot Top started noticing some bizarre changes; the skin on his face started pulling back and tightening, making him look like Joan Rivers; his body shape-shifted from that of a normal man to Guile from Street Fighter; dark rims appeared around his eyes almost like he was inexplicably applying obvious dark eye makeup to his pale-ass Irish complexion. He had evolved from Carrot Top to Super Carrot Top, King of the Startlingly Clown-Like ‘Roided Up Creeps. Truly terrifying.

3. Dr. Phil

Folksy colloquialisms delivered in an irritating Southern accent? Check. Completely self-righteous attitude? Check. Host of a totally white trash talk show masquerading as legit programming? Check. Yep, Dr. Phil meets all the necessary criteria to be shot off into space, never to return. Oh, and he’s crazy unsexy.

2. Michael Jackson

So obvious, he almost shouldn’t be on the list. But the fact that he is attests to what an awful awful horrorshow he is. Think about him being in your bed. Do it. I dare you.

1. Weird Al Yankovic

Song parodies may be my least favorite thing in the world, and Weird Al has been bringing them to the semi-mainstream for, like, as long as I’ve been alive. And I’m sure he’s a really nice guy, and I know that nerdiness is part of his shtick, but this dude’s decades of sporting the worst hair/glasses combo ever while singing about lasagna to the tune of “La Bamba” has earned him the number one slot on this list, putting him ahead of Michael Jackson. Some might call it the highest achievement of his career. And some are absolutely correct.

This is just a small selection from the vast pool of individuals who deserve to make this list – I welcome you to chime in with your own nominees.

Ideas for getting back at the cheating a$%hole of a boyfriend.

Amy Winehouse: singer, drug addict, and video game star?

Will Jerry Seinfeld get you to buy Microsoft products? Bill Gates seems to think so.

What Britney Spears really sounds like. (Ears. Bleeding. Help.) But that won’t stop Justin from trying to save her career.

Tee hee.

MIT students beat the system, ride transit for free.

Michael Phelps may or may not be single.

Ever wonder what it’s like to be a bikini waxer?

Does this mean I can sue that guy who gave me a UTI?

You could name this iPOD playlist, Va-jay-jams

I have a list of celebrities I find attractive but maybe shouldn’t admit are attractive. These are not the Justin Timberlakes or David Beckhams, but instead, some questionable characters that I (secretly?) feel deserve some consideration:

Chris Brown. He is 18, and therefore I am allowed to judge him. He can dance. And I love that stupid “Kiss, Kiss” song, something I also am a little embarrassed about. I found his stint on the OC rather ambitious. He is kind of adorable.

Jon Stewart. At only 5’7″, he doesn’t meet my usual height requirement. But he’s hilarious. He’s smart. He played soccer at William and Mary. I love him.

Funny does it for me. Jerry Seinfeld. Maybe I subconsciously think I could be his Elaine, you know, when they dated… fictitiously, on the show…

Steve Carell of the American version of The Office. You may also know him as the 40 Year Old Virgin. I think he’s adorable and can see past both the age and that chest waxing scene.

And while we’re on an Office-themed kick, why not give Britain a shot? Martin Freeman, who plays Tim (the one in love with Dawn) is also adorable, and plays the soft-porn star in Love Actually. If Hugh Grant were less obvious, he too would make the list.

Don Cheadle. I love him in Oceans 11, 12, and 13. And Crash… can’t forget Crash.

John Cusack. I was not a fan of Must Love Dogs. Would marry the High Fidelity version of him, although the top five thing might get on my nerves. I also love a little-known eighties film called Better Off Dead, where he is a skier. If you like terrible movies, you definitely should add it to your Netflix rental list.

Jeremy Piven, a buddy of John Cusack. Such an ass as Ari Gold on Entourage, but I think he’s beautiful. He did an ad campaign for Johnston and Murphy this fall that was fantastic, I walked by it on a regular basis.

I also admit to awkward crushes on Michael Cera and Jason Bateman, and a weakness for Arrested Development. And the kid who plays Murray in Clueless, because I love his justification for shaving his head: “‘Cause I’m keepin’ it real! Cause I’m keepin’ it real!”

Alright, I bared my soul and now the readership knows exactly how big a loser I really am. Which obscure celebs do you think are pretty? It’s okay, we won’t judge.

…Harshly.