When she’s not too busy avoiding the limelight and dodging questions about her pregnancy, our favorite Southern is-it-chicken-or-is-it-fish belle, the mama-to-be keeps her fans in the loop on her personal Twitter!

The one thing I’ve always loved about Jessica Simpson is that she keeps it real. She defends her curvy frame and embodies confidence, beauty and — sometimes — naivety. But ever since magazines unearthed her baby mama drama, what else has the successful designer been up to?

Wonder no more….. we’ve got the engaged starlet’s TwitPics exposed!

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Are you between film projects? Still recovering from your last tour? Does your new NBC reality competition Fashion Star have yet to set a premiere date? If so, here’s how to make a quick buck as a celebrity: Get pregnant. Hide your pregnancy. And sell the announcement for half a million dollars.

Okay, we know it wasn’t strategically planned that way—we really do want to love you forever, Jessica—but it kinda seems like it.

It was obvious that Jessica Simpson was already pregnant with former NFL player/fiancé’s baby—public appearances and paparazzi photos with big sweaters and handbags cleverly held in front of her stomach gave off the hint that she had something to hide. But she wouldn’t confirm anything until she secured a weekly magazine deal of $500,000 to officially make the announcement.

So who’s the lucky tabloid that paid her asking price? OK! magazine, who published the cover headline “Yes I’m Having a Baby!” to accompany the incredibly insightful article.

Cashing in on the kid before birth? We know that pregnancy announcements to the public are just part of how Hollywood works, but we usually don’t (want to) hear about the price tag. It’s supposed to be all hidden behind the red curtain. Do we care how much Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon scored for their 20/20 interview with Barbara Walters and the twins last night? No, we just wanted to watch it while home on a Friday night. After the all-new episodes of Say Yes to the Dress.

Well, it’s not over: Jessica’s looking to sell the eventual baby photos—once the baby’s actually born (what, no sonogram deal up for grabs?). Seriously, that kid has already made more money before breathing than I have made to date!

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It seems like celebrities these days have to be Jacks (or Janes) of All Trades. If you’re a singer then you’re a dancer and if you’re a dancer then you’re an actor. Then comes the fragrance, and then, of course, the clothing line, the last of which can get a little creepy crazy. I mean, everyone remembers the Avril Lavinge era of hoodies and men’s ties right? No? Just me.

Well, if you do remember  the terrifying time then you remember just how ridiculous some of these fashion labels can get. So it’s easy to write off every celeb clothing line as a fashion disaster waiting to happen. And while that may be true for some, that’s not the case for all celebs turned designers.

Don’t believe me? Check out these five celebrities with fashion labels you’ll love.

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But, see, there’s a difference between Emma Watson and Jessica Simpson, am I right? Emma’s cool British charm and her extensive knowledge of (fictional) magic make her the perfect candidate for an Ivy League school, but Jessica Simpson? I’m pretty sure you have to know the difference between chicken and tuna in order to get into college.

Regardless, Simpson, Alba (who knew they were friends?) and their husbands took a tour of this university’s campus yesterday. While there’s been no confirmation on whether they have plans to attend the school, they’re seriously the last two people on this planet who should be even considering applying to this school.

Okay, fine, Alba’s not bad, she could probably handle it, but Simpson? Seriously, can you imagine having Jessica Simpson as a roommate? Aside from bursting into an emotional drunken fit whenever someone decides to blast their 98 Degrees old-school playlist, Simpson would be that chick who asks the most ridiculous, stupid, irrelevant questions in class and that girl who might as well not even have a laptop since she doesn’t even know how to turn it on. Basically, she would be the one who you would have to assume had really, rich parents who built a library on campus.

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I always wonder how celebrities manage to maintain such amazing bodies. Thank god, every tabloid EVER constantly feature celebrity diet articles called “How I lost 10 pounds and kept it off!” in which that week’s super skinny celeb claims they stay lean by eating a healthy balanced diet of lean meat, oatmeal and tons of veggies. Oh, they also take their dog for hikes and they do Pilates for exercise.

I secretly suspect that their real diets include a lot less oatmeal and a lot more nothing. And why do I think that?

1. Because I’ve been eating oatmeal for years and my thighs still touch when I walk.
2. Because celebrities say such dumb things about dieting I honestly can’t believe a word that comes out of their mouths.

Wanna see what I’m talkin’ about? Here’s a list of some of the dumbest things celebrities have said about diets and working out. It’s the kind of stuff that makes you scratch your head and say “Oh, honey!” while also making you feel a whole lot better about the fact that although you work out every day (or at least have every intention to!), you still don’t have Megan Fox’s body.

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