As a Jew thrown into the Midwest for college, I find that when I leave the bubble of Washington University, the members of the St. Louis community are not as Jewish as those of WashJew. Some are confused by Judaism — our beliefs, our restrictions and our abilities as people.

As the Festival of Lights wraps up in high, fiery fashion, I think it’s time we discuss some of the most outrageous questions Jews have been asked this holiday season. When I was asked to write this article, instead of thinking up questions that non-Jews could ask, I did some research and asked friends (including CollegeCandy editor, the fabulous Jenni Maier) for some real-life experiences. Disclaimer: All of these questions have ACTUALLY been asked. This article is meant to be funny, not insulting!

initiating the gallery...

Note: Obama is not at everyone's seder

So, your Jewish friend invited you home for his/her Passover Seder.

“Free meal!” you think to yourself.

But what is a Seder? And what exactly will you be eating? Who’s gonna be there? Do you get to eat Challah? Do you have to be able to pronounce it?

As your resident CollegeCandy Jew (OK, so there are quite a few of us), allow me to prepare you for tonight’s festivities. Below, what you need to know about a Passover Seder.

1. Eat a little before you go.
Passover food isn’t for everyone (no matter how creative that Jewish mother gets with her Passover rolls) and it may be hard to stomach for someone who hasn’t been choking it down for 18 years. And even if you do love yourself some matzoh ball soup (who doesn’t?), it might be awhile before you get some. First you gotta get through the actual seder service. Actually, first you gotta get all the Jewish women to stop talking, then you gotta get through the service.

2. Follow along.
You never know when the old guy (it’s always an old guy) leading this thing is going to call on you to read a passage. And trust me, as the guest, he is definitely going to call on you. Usually before Great Aunt Ethel reads in her strong Russian accent and after the family makes 12-year-old Rachel read in Hebrew to prove all that money spent on Monday Night School wasn’t wasted. Don’t worry if you don’t understand a word you just read; it may be in English but most of us don’t really get it.

3. Leave that wine glass in the middle of the table alone.
You’re going to have plenty of wine, trust me. 4 glasses, to be exact. And it’s going to be unlike any wine you’ve ever had before. Think “fermented Capri Sun.” Yeah, it’s that sweet. Anyways, don’t touch that glass in the middle – it’s for Elijah, the prophet. He’s like Santa Claus, except instead of circling the planet and dropping off presents to everyone, he circles the planet and drinks everyone’s wine. Yeah, I wish I had that job, too.

4. Try everything….but go easy on the bitter herb.
The weird thing about Passover is that the stuff that looks the grossest actually tastes the best. Like gelfite fish, matzoh kugal and charosset, which is meant to look like the cement they put between bricks (don’t worry, you’ll understand the significance later tonight), but tastes way better. It’s made with apples and nuts and wine; how can you not love it? Just don’t fall for the old “Oh, take a big hunk of this bitter herb stuff” trick we Jews like to play on the newbies. It’s not bitter, it’s HOT, and you don’t have to prove yourself by sweating and crying at the table.

5. Wear something loose.
Like most Jewish holiday meals, the theme of a Passover seder is “We fought, we won, let’s eat.” And eat a lot. Even if you aren’t a fan of gelfite fish (or that nasty snot stuff it comes in), there will be plenty of delicious food and candy (mmmm Ring Gels) to chow down on throughout the night. Avoid the skinny jeans and wear a loose dress for optimal comfort.

[This story was originally posted by Lauren - University of Michigan]

Get it? Got it? Good. Want some more? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

Here are some tips to make your holidays away from home as enjoyable as possible. (This doesn’t just apply to Jewish students – every student can find the right balance between religion, relationships, classes, activities, and a part-time job.)

First and foremost, talk to your professors if you plan on missing a class because you are observing a religious holiday. My freshman year I had a foreign professor that refused to excuse me from his 1-credit seminar class because of Yom Kippur. I was intimidated but my parents (typical Jewish mother syndrome) convinced me to talk to my advisor right away. He was made aware of the situation from day 1 and it became a non-issue. Your university should have a policy stating religious discrimination is unacceptable. Do your research just in case a similar situation arises.

Seek out student organizations geared to your religious affiliation. Hillel and Chabad are great places to spend the High Holy Days if you are Jewish. Penn State Hillel, for instance, provides a home-cooked meal every Friday night after services – a big improvement over the dining hall food. The students involved in these groups have created a balance in their lives and they can advise you how to do the same. You already all have something in common. You can compare how many times a day your Mom has called or share stories about your yearly winter vacations to visit Grandma in Florida. Who knows… you will probably be able to find someone who went to the same sleepaway camp as you did (the Six Degrees of Jewish Separation is no joke).

Bring the holidays to you and your friends. If you live in a dorm, order chicken noodle soup from a local deli and share with your roommates. Plan your own festive meal. Teach your Gentile friends about the importance of rye bread and good bagels. You can be extremely adventurous if you have your own kitchen and make your own “Jew Food.”

By the time the High Holidays roll around, everyone’s going to be so sick of Ramen and late-night Easy Mac that they’ll think matzo balls are better than sliced bread. Which, as any Jew knows, they totally are. Unless that bread is challah. Yum.

Note: Obama is not at everyone's seder

So, your Jewish friend invited you home for his/her Passover Seder.

“Free meal!” you think to yourself.

But what is a Seder? And what exactly will you be eating? Who’s gonna be there? Do you get to eat Challah? Do you have to be able to pronounce it?

As your resident CollegeCandy Jew (OK, so there are quite a few of us), allow me to prepare you for tonight’s festivities. Below, what you need to know about a Passover Seder.

1. Eat a little before you go.
Passover food isn’t for everyone (no matter how creative that Jewish mother gets with her Passover rolls) and it may be hard to stomach for someone who hasn’t been choking it down for 18 years. And even if you do love yourself some matzoh ball soup (who doesn’t?), it might be awhile before you get some. First you gotta get through the actual seder service. Actually, first you gotta get all the Jewish women to stop talking, then you gotta get through the service.

2. Follow along.
You never know when the old guy (it’s always an old guy) leading this thing is going to call on you to read a passage. And trust me, as the guest, he is definitely going to call on you. Usually before Great Aunt Ethel reads in her strong Russian accent and after the family makes 12-year-old Rachel read in Hebrew to prove all that money spent on Monday Night School wasn’t wasted. Don’t worry if you don’t understand a word you just read; it may be in English but most of us don’t really get it.

3. Leave that wine glass in the middle of the table alone.
You’re going to have plenty of wine, trust me. 4 glasses, to be exact. And it’s going to be unlike any wine you’ve ever had before. Think “fermented Capri Sun.” Yeah, it’s that sweet. Anyways, don’t touch that glass in the middle – it’s for Elijah, the prophet. He’s like Santa Claus, except instead of circling the planet and dropping off presents to everyone, he circles the planet and drinks everyone’s wine. Yeah, I wish I had that job, too.

4. Try everything….but go easy on the bitter herb.
The weird thing about Passover is that the stuff that looks the grossest actually tastes the best. Like gelfite fish, matzoh kugal and charosset, which is meant to look like the cement they put between bricks (don’t worry, you’ll understand the significance later tonight), but tastes way better. It’s made with apples and nuts and wine; how can you not love it? Just don’t fall for the old “Oh, take a big hunk of this bitter herb stuff” trick we Jews like to play on the newbies. It’s not bitter, it’s HOT, and you don’t have to prove yourself by sweating and crying at the table.

5. Wear something loose.
Like most Jewish holiday meals, the theme of a Passover seder is “We fought, we won, let’s eat.” And eat a lot. Even if you aren’t a fan of gelfite fish (or that nasty snot stuff it comes in), there will be plenty of delicious food and candy (mmmm Ring Gels) to chow down on throughout the night. Avoid the skinny jeans and wear a loose dress for optimal comfort.

Unfortunately, I’m not Jewish and don’t celebrate the holiday, but just because I can’t indulge in 8 days of presents doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy everyone’s favorite Hanukkah treat: the potato latke.

According to Jewish tradition, latkes (or potato pancakes) are cooked to symbolize the miracle of the Maccabees’ oil burning for 8 nights when there was only enough for one. Too bad most latke recipes do the opposite, using enough oil for 8 nights for one greasy (yet totally delicious) side dish.

Well not anymore. Behold the sweet potato pancake. It’s moist, it’s tasty, and it’s not drenched in oil. Yes, it’s a Hanukkah miracle of its own. One that anyone – from Jews to those of us who really just like delicious food – can enjoy.

SWEET-POTATO PANCAKES
Makes 12-15 pancakes.

• 1 1/2 cups of flour
• 1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 3 eggs
• 2 cups of buttermilk
• 3/4 cups cooked, mashed sweet potatoes (about 1 large potato)
• 4 tbsp (1/2 stick) melted butter
• 1 tsp vanilla

Here’s what you do:
Combine flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. (Dry ingredients)

In a separate bowl, whisk together eggs, buttermilk, sweet potatoes, butter, and vanilla. (Wet ingredients)

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until combined (a couple of lumps are OK).

Lightly grease a skillet and heat to medium-high.

Pour 1/4 cup batter for each pancake onto the skillet. Cook 2-4 minutes, then flip and cook 1-2 more minutes until done.

I know it’s tempting to blast the stove when you’re making pancakes so that they’ll be done faster, but resist the urge for these beauties. If you crank it, you’ll end up with blackened pancake on the outside and raw batter in the middle. It’ll still taste good because this recipe is just that awesome, but really, it’s much better to have a golden-brown pancake that’s light and fluffy and cooked all the way through, so keep an eye on the temp.

You can serve these guys with applesauce, whipped cream and brown sugar, mini marshmallows, powdered sugar, or the traditional butter and maple syrup, but I just like to eat them plain. Mmmmmmm.

Last week, AOL’s Parent Dish blog posted an interview with Jon Gosselin in which the revolting reality star revealed that he’s flirting with Judaism. His current girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is a Member of the Tribe herself, and she’s apparently turned him on to the wonders of Jewish holidays and munchies: “I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself,” he said.

The interviewer then asked Jon if he can see himself converting, and he replied by saying that he’s already spoken to Rabbi Shmuley, star of TLC’s Shalom in the Home and Michael Jackson’s former BFF.

Jon’s only the latest in a long line of public figures who have made headlines by dabbling in Judaism—Britney Spears was spotted wearing a Star of David this summer, fueling rumors that she was switching religious teams to get closer to once and current boyfriend Jason Trawick. Lindsay Lohan reportedly announced on Facebook that she was converting for Samantha Ronson, although it’s unclear whether she went through with it since she and Sam split up last spring. And don’t forget about Madonna, whose uber-Christian name makes her devotion to Kabbalah insanely ironic.

I totally understand why stars would want to become Chosen People themselves. Our holidays are fun (we’ve got at least two that instruct those celebrating to get hammered), our food is incredible, and we’ve got pretty deep ties to the entertainment industry. Plus, I’m sure they think that doing anything that makes them more like Marilyn Monroe couldn’t hurt.

But here’s the thing: we Jews aren’t exactly excited about the prospect of welcoming idiot celebrities into our culture. Britney, Jewish girls get a bad enough reputation for being crazy—we don’t need you to make things worse. That goes double for Lindsay, who should also know that Jewish girls generally are sensible enough to wear a pair of pants once in awhile. And I think I speak for everyone I went to Hebrew School with when I say that I never, ever want to be in a position where I have anything in common with Jon Gosselin.

Okay, so Jon, Britney, and Lindsay wouldn’t exactly ruin the religion—especially since we’ve had bigger crises to deal with recently—but they wouldn’t be doing us any favors, either. Like any minority group, Jews love feeling a sense of pride when they see prominent fellow Jews succeeding. Likewise, we can’t help but feel disappointed when a Jew does something stupid. I think I’d be feeling a whole lot of disappointment if Jon Gosselin started regularly noshing on bagels and lighting candles on Friday nights.

Hailey Glassman, you’re breaking your mother’s heart. I hope you’re happy.

I will not apologize for my beauty sleep. I will not!

This week, in light of the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I’m not Jewish, but the fact that my 21st birthday falls on the day of repenting has caused me to think about the fact that I’m doing the exact opposite: indulging and sinning.

I’m so not chosen for a reason.

Last week the CollegeCandy writers shared the things they want to ask forgiveness for. I’ve decided to take a different route and reflect on the things I’ve done wrong and have no desire to repent for. I’ve got enough Catholic guilt as it is.

10. Borrowing my sister’s clothes without asking.
Sorry Meredith, I just had to have that black shirt. You never wear it!

9. Indulging in cupcakes. At any hour of the day.
8 AM. Magnolia Bakery. Totally appropriate and healthy.

8. Exceeding my budget (by a lot a lot) for the sale at Saks.
It’s not like I need groceries.

7. Skipping class to sleep.
Not going to feel guilty for those extra z’s over watching a video on gender roles in advertising. Barbie, bad. I get it. I can find it on YouTube, right?

6. Lying about having a boyfriend to get out of a date.
Yeah, sorry I have this super protective boyfriend that won’t let me even text other boys.

5. Staying out til 3 AM. On a weekday.
Tuesdays are the new Fridays.

4. Using that emergency credit card for a Pad Thai emergency.
“Dad, I’m sorry, I needed it! I promise I won’t do it again, or at least I won’t until next weekend.”

3. Shamelessly Facebook-stalking.
Just making sure you still have more chins than quality personality traits.

2. Making out with my ex-fling.
If it happened in a different state, than it doesn’t count. Ah, who cares? Totally. Worth. It.

1. Telling friends I’m sick and can’t go out. In order to stay in and watch movies with my real best friend: peanut butter M&Ms.
Okay, maybe saying I’m “swining out” was a little overboard.

“I’m Catholic”
“I’m atheist”
“I’m Jewish”

Even if someone’s beliefs can’t be put under a specific religious category, everyone has their own opinion on how humans got here and how people should live their lives.  All of these different views come together to make a unique world, but religious differences have the potential to hurt or even end a relationship.

Because religious views generally have a great impact on a person’s lifestyle, differing views can cause conflict in relationships. An atheist may be incredibly uncomfortable if their significant other wanted to attend church every Sunday and prayed every day. Likewise, a person who is used to being involved in religious practices may feel like something is wrong with them if their boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to come with them to Bible study or other religious gatherings.

And then there’s the family. And the potential future family.
It can really become a hot mess of opinions, beliefs and arguments.

While this may be overwhelming for some, there are ways to cope with religious differences and make a relationship last. Taking turns attending religious practices can give both members of the relationship a look into a new religious lifestyle. Each person could take time discussing with the other what their religious views mean to them and what they do or do not want to do because of them. Essentially, a couple needs to reach a compromise that makes them both feel comfortable.

But sometimes a compromise may not be reached, and as hard as it is, you might have to let go. A dear friend just ended her relationship with her boyfriend of three years. She identifies with Christianity while he identifies with Atheism. She really wanted him to attend church with her and her family, and he felt that doing so was just buying into what he called “the mentality of organized religion.”  Most of their discussions about their religious differences ended up in arguments, and celebrating any religious holidays together made them both feel weird. Since they could not reach an agreement on these subjects, they chose to separate. After three long years.

Most of us don’t really consider religion when we’re looking for a mate, but we should. It’s hard to think about family and marriage when you’re making out with the boy you like from Anthro, but it’s even harder to realize how different your beliefs are when you’ve invested years into a relationship. And, sure, it’s 100% possible to be with someone who doesn’t believe the same things as you, but you definitely want to find that out before it’s too late.

All my Jewish peeps out there know that Passover is a time where you have to hold your head up high and say, “Sure, my non-Jewish friends get to eat Peeps and Reese’s peanut butter cup eggs (where the PB to chocolate ratio is so. much. better.), but, hey, I get all those fake desserts that taste like crap yet still make me fat AND constipated. Mazel Tov to ME!” So glad we wandered in the desert for this.

Passover is a time where we must get creative in the kitchen. Top Chef has nothing on me after 8 days of no bread. So, being that I’ve been a Passover Jew since I left the womb, I will share with you my 5 best tips for surviving the Big P.

1) Don’t think of it as an “OMG WTF am I supposed to do without bread?!” sitch. Instead, think of it as a week long cleanse and use it as a time to detox; stick to salads, fruits, proteins, almonds, sweet potatoes and dark chocolate (K for P of course). All of those foods will keep you fuller longer and after a day of really craving the carbs you will feel a whole lot better anyways. Besides, its not like matzoh satisfies that carb craving, anyway.

2) Two Words: Matzoh. Pizza. It never gets old. It always tastes good. Load that bad tasting piece of matzo with sauce, cheese and a ton of veggies (the more fiber with that matzo the better – trust me) and you will forget how much you hated this holiday in the first place.

3) It’s the one time of year you can get kosher marshmallows and I looove to stock up. My favorite Passover sweet treat from childhood: take 4 large marshmallows, stick them in the microwave till they start to get really big, then pull them out of the microwave while still hot and put some chocolate chips on top so they melt right away. Amazingness. Great on top of ice cream too!

4) Manischewitz wine. Freshman year we got a FABULOUS game of Kosher for Passover wine pong going. Yes, the hangover was a biznatch and my teeth felt like they were rotting from all that sweet wine, but it was f-u-n. Just be advised: red wine is a little more noticeable on shirts than beer when that ping pong ball makes the wine splatter everywhere, so I’d avoid wearing white.

5) Plan ahead. Nothing is worse than coming home late night and watching your non-jewish friends delve into their Dominos and Easter baskets and you’ve got those icky jelly candies and chocolate covered jelly rings. Thank you for that, Moses. Stock your fridge up with some Temp-Tee (only the BEST creamcheese around) some cheese and pizza sauce, some Passover chocolate, marshmallows and the like. Throw some (all) on a piece of matzo, stick it in the microwave and you’ve got yourself a mish-mash on matzoh!

Last year we decided to take it one step further and we all decided to give something up for Lent. We set a rule that we all needed to give up something very near and dear to our hearts. One roommate gave up sprinkles (she would eat them with a spoon), one gave up eating after 10pm (that bitch lost 10 pounds), and I decided to give up using the word “pussy” (I have no idea why I use it so often).

One of our neighbors came by at the beginning of Lent and asked what we had all given up. I proudly exclaimed, “I gave up pussy for lent!”

Yeah, awkward. Not to mention the fact that I was two days in and had already failed.

This year I am going to do it right – I have become quite obsessed with cupcakes lately, so I am gonna give those puppies up. Hopefully I’ll be more successful than last year.

What are you giving up for Lent?