Dear Jimmy, Jimbo, J-dog, JF,

Big night ahead of you tomorrow, huh? You’ve really made it in the entertainment world now. You slipped into the spotlight when no one was looking and you almost made everyone forget about the Taxi movie.

And now you’re hosting the Emmys. The Mother-effin Emmys. The Oscar’s slightly awkward younger sister. With such a great title comes even greater responsibility. You’ve got to do your best to keep the show to 45 minutes, an hour max.  Oh, and make it funny. You’re young and you’re hip and it’s time we rewrite some of the hosting rules to keep this whole thing exciting and fresh. Fresh is a Hollywood buzzword, right?

No one wants to listen to winners spend 35 minutes thanking people with careers that most people don’t even know exist (I owe this all to my agent, my mistress, my assistant dressing room decorator who showed me that those banana yellow chairs really do help me learn my lines).

So break the rules, ignore the music cues, and make sure everyone keeps their acceptance speeches to 10 seconds. On second thought, skip the acceptance speeches. Have them wave from their seats and Tweet out anything they want to say. If LiLo can run through a therapy-session of Tweets about her Dad while high on coke prescription Adderall, then Tina Fey can do a decently witty acceptance speech in 140 characters.

Cut off the presenters when their intro speeches start sounding extra-staged. With the exception of my AOL-using Grandmother, we all know that awkwardly playful banter is scripted. I mean does anyone really believe that Sofia Vergara and that overgrown kid from Two-and-a-half Men really have that great of chemistry? Read More »

Does anyone else feel like they’ve been transported back in time? To 1992, to be precise. A time when Gameboys were cool and gas was only $1.05/gallon. A time when Leno and NBC clawed Letterman out of his deserved Tonight Show spot, against successor Johnny Carson’s wishes? I wasn’t old enough to understand but don’t worry – there’s a whole made-for-TV movie on it, “The Late Shift.”

Even if, at the time, I didn’t know what was going on, I came to develop a passion (shared with me by my grandmother and father) for late night. I’ve seen dozens of episodes of Johnny Carson, while my peers barely know his name, and hundreds upon hundreds of episodes of Letterman. They were beloved figures in my household. As I grew up, I became partial to Conan during high school. I would stay up past my bedtime with my sister, skimming right over Leno to catch me some Conan O’Brien.

As time went on, the natural progression of things began to unfold. Leno’s time was coming to a close and he turned the coveted 11:35 spot over to Conan. However, instead of bowing out gracefully, NBC decided to cut their high-budget dramas at 10:00 and replace it with “The Leno Show.” Um, okay…?

And now, after only giving Conan a few months in this new time slot and after altering the nighttime lineup, they’re making an executive decision to move “The Jay Leno Show” to 11:35 and bump “The Tonight Show” to 12:05.

And this is pissing a lot of people off. Namely, ME.

Read More »

First it was Paris and Nicole. Then it was Edward and Jacob. Now, it’s Conan and Leno.

Yup, it seems the late night kings of comedy are splitting the country as they battle it out over air times.

Here’s the deal: Leno’s new gig at 10 p.m. isn’t working out so well. Shocking? Not so much. NBC moved him to this slot over the summer hoping he’d be cheaper entertainment then those super pricey dramas. And while Jay may be cheaper, he’s definitely not entertaining. NBC execs, therefore, are working on another little switcharoo which will move Leno back to his 11:35 slot. A slot currently occupied by Conan O’Brien.

So where is Conan supposed to go? Read More »

Lykke Li hearts CollegeCandy. And we heart Lykke Li.

This has been the weekend of insanely glamorous things going on. From the VIP seats at the Ruffian show to experiencing fashion week, I thought that life couldn’t get anymore glam.

But it could. And it did.

Last night, I was lucky enough to interview celebs on the red carpet for the VMAs! I asked them about the show, their fave videos and advice for college chicas. If you weren’t following my live Tweets on the CollegeCandy Twitter, here is a little bit about my night on the red carpet!

Winners: Pitbull might’ve been the coolest guy, ever. Seriously, dude, take me to the hotel room any time. Akon, Jay Sean, Kevin Rudolf and Sean Kingston were also incredibly sweet. Rappers love me, what can I say?

Kid Sister was amazing and her nails were beyond fabulous. Look for this girl to blow up soon. Lots of love to Amerie of “One Thing” fame: down-to-earth and adorable. Lykke Li was phenomenal and the celeb I was the most starstruck by, even though she’s kind of unknown right now. Helloooo, girl crush.

Holly Montag and Stacie “The Bartender” from The Hills were super buddy-buddy, which is interesting considering the major dramz from last season. Not surprising, though, those two are not the brightest bulbs in the tanning salon.  But it’s okay -  Holly told me she “minored in drinking,” which CollegeCandy totes magotes approves of. Unless all that drinking turned her into the girl she is today, in which case I’m staying sober from here on out.

Jimmy Fallon talked to me when I basically verbally assaulted him with the fact that I go to school in Boston. He told me I looked great. We’re basically married now, right? He was perfect and talked to every possible reporter that he could. What a gem!

Oh, and Cobra Starship tried to eat my sign.
Which was not made of real candy.

Losers: Anjulie wouldn’t give me an interview. And I quote, “No, I don’t know you, but once I do, I will.” It’s okay, though – no one knows who you are either. She also was giving reporters a hard time if they hadn’t seen her video. RUDE! Also straight out of the douchebag factory? Cast of Real World: Cancun. Really? Why? Just, why?

Other points of interest: Kanye and his freaky-deaky girlfriend straight up swigging from a bottle of Hennessy on the carpet. Classy. Could explain his later outburst at Tay-Tay (who looked gorgeous, sparkly and all kinds of shiny).

Perez whored it up a bit in yellow gloves and boots, but who even wants to talk to him!? Also spotted embracing Lady GaGa. Not impressed by either of them. Was impressed by Jack Black’s fake muscles and standard ridiculous red carpet antics, though.

Blew by almost every press person: Lauren Conrad (really?!), Leighton Meester, Pink, Chase Crawford (sadface), Adam Brody (but he did turn around and wave for me!), J.Lo, Gerard Butler, Jackson Fam and Gaga.

No shows on the carpet: R.Patz & K.Stew, Eminem, Madonna, Jay-Z, Beyonce and Megan Fox.

And now for the highlights:

TREMENDOUS thank you to Meredith editing the video and making my shaky flipcam filming look fantabulous. Meredith is a freshman at Boston University studying film. She hearts yorkies, Jack Nicholson movies and the Beatles. Oh, and she just so happens to be the best little sister in the universe. Love.

Graduation may be an exciting milestone, but the ceremony itself is far from memorable for most people. Not only is sitting in a cap and gown for three straight hours uncomfortable (especially when it’s hot and that itchy rayon is rubbing against your neck), but the speeches are boring… and they go on forever. Oh, and leaving college is incredibly depressing.

But that whole “boring speech” thing isn’t the case for some lucky graduating classes. Yes, there are a select few schools in this country that had some pretty bomb diggity commencement speakers this year. Speakers who make me sorta wish I could sit through a three hour ceremony getting a weird tanline on my forehead from that ridiculous cap I’d be forced to wear.

Below is a list of the most bad ass commencement speakers of 2009. See, it’s not so bad being the class of ’09! Read More »

Photoshop is Madonna’s BFF.

Rachel Zoe’s got a new fashion line.

Petition to reunite Saved By The Bell.

Watch out, Soulja Boy.

Lip gloss for spring.

Bill O’Reilly hates Sean Penn.

Kelly Rowland dropped from record label.

A get-strong playlist.

Website offers discounts to you!

Another Police Academy movie!?

Who wears short shorts? John Mayer wears short shorts.

March is here! More importantly, Spring Break is here!!! And even though most of us can’t wait to get off campus and onto the beach, there are a couple more reasons why I love this month of March.

1) Red Cross Month

Obama’s Presidential Proclamation last Friday marked the 66th time March has been declared Red Cross Month, and in honor of it, the American Red Cross will launch the first national Change A Life contest, running from March 2-16 (so enter now!) Just go to RedCross.org and share your story of how the Red Cross has changed your life or someone else’s life, and you could win a trip for two to Washington D.C. to join Keith Urban on his Escape Together world tour concert!

2) Rebounding

In celebration of Red Cross Month, I’m going to introduce you to a new form of the rebound – not just for sex, basketball, or even the emotional one anymore. I’m talking about the heart-healthy, original pure form of the rebound: on a trampoline. It’s quoted by NASA as “the most efficient and effective exercise yet devised by man,” and you can do it at home whilst watching TV! Unlike jogging, which for many people can cause stress on the joints, rebounding is a zero-impact exercise and is suitable for all ages and abilities. Read More »

Men have always ruled the comedy scene. From dynamic duos such as Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and Jay and Silent Bob to teams such as the Happy Madison boys (Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Peter Dante, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson) and the Frat Pack (Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Owen and Luke Wilson and Steve Carrell).

There are virtually no female comedic ensembles who can sell movies like these guys can.

In the stand-up circuit, men generally receive the biggest reception. Recently, I went to a stand-up comedy review that featured twenty comics in one night. Of those twenty, only three women took the stage. Three. WTF?

Women are pretty damn funny, so why don’t we get the same appraisal as men get? Films like Old School put the Frat Pack on the map, while the hysterical chick flick The Sweetest Thing flopped at the box office. The Wedding Crashers cast has people rolling in the aisles, while far too many people have never seen Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, and Selma Blair sing The Penis Song.

I took this assignment to cover the 5 Funniest Women out there, but quickly realized there is just too much talent to narrow it down so far. That said, what follows is my personal list of five of the wittiest women in the world, along with some honorable mentions. I welcome feedback, comments, and nominations, because I’m sure I’ve missed some ladies that can more than keep up with the boys. Read More »

Hottie of the week

Helloooo, Robert Downey, Jr. He gets this because he’s hot. And Iron Man rocked.

My clip of the week

Thank you, Amy Poehler. It’s kinda wrong but kinda right and this is coming from a Hillary supporter.

Song of the week

Rihanna, “Take a Bow.” Whatever you say, Billboard Singles Charts.

Why am I not surprised?

Poor Speed Racer

Fashion of the Week

The good: I don’t watch or care about SATC, but god, do I love this shoot. The clothes are hot, the pictures are hot and I can’t get over that picture with the camera and the floor and what? Wow.

The bad: So this girl, Marche Taylor, and her prom dress. She shows up to her Texas prom wearing a few dinner napkins and ultimately gets kicked out for not wearing underwear.

Do we blame J-Lo for this? Read More »

I love Tina Fey and her poopy perspective

20 pick-up lines for people wearing keyboard pants

I can only imagine the conversation between “Speidi” and Bush

The Michael Showalter Showalter with Michael Cera

Dude, where’s my dress?

Proving the impossible: Jimmy Fallon annoys me more than Carson Daly

The College Bucket List

The JoBros on the Big O!

Sometimes I wonder what Marilyn Manson’s diary is like

Abercrombie & Fitch “adults only” catalogue