(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. [Guys We Wanna Eff]. As Inauguration Week draws to a close, all we can think about is the newest effable White House employee, Rahm Emanuel.]

I’ve had the pleasure to write a handful of College Candy’s Guys We Wanna Eff, and as a red-blooded twentysomething female it’s certainly not a difficult task to write about the hottest male stars. But I have to preface the ode to this week’s man of honor by saying I would trade in a year’s worth of paychecks and possibly Spring Break for one night with Rahm Emanuel. He takes the number-one spot on my Eff List. That’s right, I said it!

While Joe Biden (who, may I say, looks A-OK for a man of 66) is technically second-in-command behind President Obama, Rahm Emanuel occupies what many call “the second most powerful job in Washington” as the White House Chief of Staff. The position labels him as the highest-ranking officer of the Executive Branch (after the President), as well as Obama’s senior advisor. Before joining the new administration, Emanuel was a Congressman representing Chicago in the House of Representatives. Now, what woman doesn’t want to eff a man in power?

“Rahmbo” isn’t just a stiff politician, however. Did you know he studied ballet throughout childhood and college? Totally true; his mom still wishes he were a dancer! He followed his career in dance with a short stint as a civilian volunteer for the Israeli Defence Forces, and his brother Ari is the inspiration for Jeremy Piven’s character on Entourage. The man gets around–in a good way!

But it’s his feisty personality that really gets me going. He is known among politicos as “The Enforcer” for his ability to get things done. His way. Rahm once mailed a dead fish to a pollster he didn’t quite get along with back in the day–how’s that for teaching others not to eff with him? (Effing me, however, is a different story.)

To me, Rahm is one sharp-shooting silver fox who’s had me begging for a little effing action ever since I saw his dark bedroom eyes and wry, snarky grin. Oh, and I can’t help but love a man with a dirty mouth. He was once quoted as saying, “‘Rahm’ …roughly translated from Hebrew, means ‘go screw yourself.’” (Can I get your help with that?)

But to recap, the man’s a dancer (read: he’s flexible), he has megawatt connections to Hollywood (via his bro, Ari) as well as everyone in politics, he’s a smart-alec success who still can pull off frat-boy pranks (dead fish!) with pizzazz. In the words of Rahm, what more could you effing want?

Tomorrow is the big day!

As millions flock to Washington for the inauguration, many of us prefer (or were forced) to stay at home and not be part of the mad rush of people that will surely cause all of the highways around D.C. and the surrounding states to be jam-packed with people and cars (I’ve had enough with the crowding during the Olympics to last a lifetime). But just because you’re not on the scene doesn’t mean you can’t be with the scene!

There are plenty of other people around who didn’t make the trek to D.C., so have a party! It may be last minute, but there is still plenty of time to gather your friends and a little patriotism together for a killer Proud to be An American bash.

Here are some fun ways for you to celebrate being in American – red, white, and blue style.

Decorate: Now is the perfect time to whip out your old Fourth of July gear and host the best inauguration-watching party ever! Turn your living room into an American flag: blow up balloons, hang  flags on the wall, spread a red tablecloth and set out little blue napkins.

Costumes: Aren’t costume parties the best? Encourage your guests to dress up as their favorite political figure and award to the best-dressed and best-impersonation (cigar, anyone?) with an American favorite: a 30 pack of cheap beer.

FOOD! You can take the easy route with some red, white and blue foods, like watermelon, blueberries and cottage cheese, or you can whip up something patriotic:

• Name foods after fun themes such as “Campaign Trail Mix,” “Sloppy Joe Bidens,” “Barack of Ribs,” “Chicken Right Wings,” or, my personal favorite, “Lipstick Pigs In A Blanket.”
• Make some RW&B Popsicles. Just get any type of juice in all three colors (I like using kool-aid) and some dixie cups and popsicle sticks. Pour the red juice into each cup to about 1/3 full, then freeze until it’s almost frozen but still a little slushy. Insert a popsicle stick into the middle, then pour the white juice in until it’s 2/3 full. Freeze it again, then add the blue juice. Freeze one more time, peel the cups off, and – voila! – patriotism on a stick.
• Want to be more like Obama? Make chili, one of his favorite foods!

Play Some Games: Baseball isn’t called America’s pastime for nothing. Go outside (bundled in scarves and thick jackets, I hope) and toss a few around. I’m sure you could figure out a way to turn that into a drinking game. If baseball isn’t your thing, go shoot some hoops. Instead of playing Horse, though, make it a game of Donkey. Or Obama. Or See Ya Later, Bush! Or, if it’s too cold out, just play a game of  Obama Speech Bingo. Our bet’s on the word “change” getting the most chips.

American Karaoke: Sure, karaoke is usually reserved for Meatloaf and The Outfield, but this is a God Bless America party! Break out the old American faves like Yankee Doodle and God Bless America. Beyonce may have had to perform in front of billions of people, including the president, but you just have to sing in front of your friends, so belt it out shamelessly.

Watch a Movie: Throw in an old American action flick, like The Patriot, Saving Private Ryan, or Black Hawk Down. (Because nothing says I Love America quite like Josh Hartnett. Mmmm.) Or, if you want laughter instead of tears, watch some hilarious youtube videos of past presidents. Shoes not included.

Be proud and celebrate being an American on this great day in U.S. history. You betcha I sure am.

Tara Reid heads to rehab.

Avoid the holiday weight gain this year.

2009 is all about the bun.

Kate and Leo reunited at last.

DIY gifts for guys. So cool.

Need a cocktail ring for New Year’s? These are fabulous.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta are comin’ back. Thank you, Santa!

Dartmouth professor discovers the dangers of Facebook.

Gossip is good for ya!

In case you care, Joe Biden got a new puppy.

Need a vacation read? Try one of these great pop culture books.

Today is Election Day, and your only real responsibility is to vote. Whether you’re affixing a stamp to an absentee ballot or pulling the lever in a voting booth, get out there and make your opinon heard!

But, we in the youngest (and perhaps extremely influential) voting demographic also reserve our right to party! And after all the ballots are cast, tonight is shaping up to be the biggest party night in America. So after you’ve done your civic duty, grab your friends and get ready to watch the returns with these creative suggestions:

The Setting:

Make sure you have the essentials: a television and ample seating room. But why not spruce up the space for the occasion? If you’re lucky to have the day off from classes today (as we do at my school– thank you, Fordham!), take a few minutes to make some posters! Rasterbator is an online application that will make any image you choose into a poster up to 20 meters in size. (The image will be blown up and printed out in pieces on regular 8 1/2 x 11″ sheets of paper, so you just assemble the sheets like a grid.) It’s really quick, extremely simple, and only requires the internet and a printer.

The Games

Take it a step further by printing two posters (one of Obama and one of McCain) and grabbing some construction paper. Cut out 50 squares from construction paper and label them with the names of each state. Have your guests tack each respective state onto the poster of the candidate who wins it, to keep track of election returns.

If you and your friends are rooting for different candidates, make the night interesting with a little friendly (yet apolitical) competition! While waiting for the results of the election to unfold, pass the time with a few innocent games. Ask your McCain fans to wear something red, and your Obama fans to wear blue. Play team versions of 20 Questions, Catch Phrase, or Charades. If you have outdoor space, hold a Three-Legged Race or a Tug-o-War, depending upon how many people you can gather for your party.

Not into physical exercise? It’s ok; we’re not either. Drinking games are more our speed, so grab a couple cases of beer (or some red and blue booze!) and play this game until you puke we elect a president.

The Food

There’s no better way to celebrate democracy than with some classic American grub. Fill up while the votes pile up with some hamburgers! Order out or make your own ‘Bama Burgers/ Palin Patties. And for the vegetarians among us, serve up a (Bi)Partisan Pizza Pie with this healthy recipe.

And how about some election-themed desserts? Try following this recipe for sugar cookies and buying red and blue icing. As you’re watching the election returns, eat a red cookie every time John McCain wins a state, and a blue cookie every time Barack Obama wins a state. (You can also do the same with cupcakes.) If baking isn’t your thing, why not pick up a few tubs of vanilla (or other white-colored) ice cream, and some red and blue food dye. Guests can display their party pride (or just their patriotism) with tinted ice cream.

Food, drinks and games – even if your candidate of choice doesn’t win, tonight is gonna be fun. And if he does…well, let’s dance.

Seriously, Faith Hill is one hot mama.

Cindy Crawford isn’t too bad, either.

Celebrities dress up in slutty Halloween costumes too!

Try a new look: the romantic up-do.

Chase Crawford has some crazy brows.

Joe Biden’s teeth are freaking us out.

A college blogger’s look at the pros of both Obama and McCain.

Why are people saying that Will Smith is gay?

Another celebrity proves they are above the law. Way to go, Britney!

Forget The Hills. Get a sneak peak at Whitney Port and The City.

The government is listening (and enjoying) your phone sex.

Pasta fork…or weapon?

While I may be one of the only people still undecided for the upcoming election, I came across something today that I thought was important to share with you all. A girl I know posted a video on her Facebook status and I had nothing better to do except check it out (and by that I mean, of course I had a million things better to do but procrastination seemed like the best choice).

Anyway she posted this video showing John Mccain from last March swearing numerous times to an NY Times reporter.

It already has over one hundred thousand views.

The only problem is: it’s not true. Far from it actually.

Take a look at the ORIGINAL video; it is true that the clip is showing McCain on edge when being pressed about his private conversations with John Kerry. However, he did not swear during the interview. Not even once. And now, because some guy with too much time on his hands got crafty with his computer gadget editing tools, over one hundred thousand people are judging his character over something that is just not true.

So, I’m just writing to remind you that no matter who you plan to vote for, do your research – on both sides. It’s so easy to believe the first audio snippet you hear or YouTube clip you see, but the fact of the matter is, the media loves to sensationalize and turn everything into breaking news (i.e. Jamie Lynn Spears being knocked up for the second time). (Editor’s Note: WHAT!? That isn’t true?!)

As a journalism major, I learned the importance of fact checking EVERYTHING with at LEAST two credible sources. Even minor things. My job would be so much easier if I passed things along without verifying their validity first; I would have a lot more time for Happy Hours and keg stands, for one. But, if that was the case, I also would have probably passed on hundreds of things that I thought to be true or accurate on first glance that turned out to be so 1000% false.

Things get taken out of context more often than not and the fact is, once something is out there, you can’t take it back and opinions are formed based on things that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I went to a friend’s synagogue over the Jewish High Holiday, Yom Kippur and the rabbi made a really interesting point with his sermon. He was talking about how we are all bit hearing impaired; not because we’ve spent the better part of our high school days at obnoxiously loud Backstreet Boys concerts (or was that only me?!), but because we choose what to hear and what not to. Stephen Colbert refers to this as truthiness.

The Rabbi referred to some book/study (the name I can’t remember), saying that, basically, once we believe something to be true, we only pay attention to things that prove that point. For example, if you believed wholeheartedly that Britney Spears can sing, you are more likely to tune out on the TV segment, or skip over an article in the paper, whose headline seemed to be trying to prove why in fact, she really can’t. Instead you would only focus on the articles that seemed to assure you that you are right in your beliefs. And since it’s hard to find an unbiased media source these days, it’s so easy for us to find what we want to hear and believe to be true instead of what actually is true.

So in the next few weeks, I ask that you don’t forward an email or a YouTube clip on without knowing if it is categorically correct. This does nothing more than a disservice to others… and to yourself. Before you believe what you hear spewed out by commentators, newspapers, and even the candidates themselves at debates/interviews, follow up and do the research.

So here’s to not skipping over this.

Tonight is the 2nd Presidential Debate, which is sure to be awesome (even if it’s not nearly as hyped as Palin vs. Biden’s Teeth).

The event is going to be moderated by NBC’s Tom Brokaw, but instead of Tommy asking the questions, the debate will have a town hall format.

Which means the people get to ask the questions.

So, people of Nashville who will be sitting pretty in the town hall-y debate, if you are reading this, we have a few questions we’d like to ask the candidates. Real questions that require real answers instead of that fluff Gwen Ifill came up with (and Sarah Palin dodged) during the VP “debate.”

1. Honestly, do you think President Bush was qualified to run this country? If not, how does that make you feel now? How badly would you hate yourself if you lost?

2. Inquiring minds want to know: Peanut Butter Crunch or Crunch Berries?

3. If you could only change one thing during your term as President (and money was not an issue), what would it be?

4. When SNL makes fun of you, does it hurt?

5. Barack, do you really eat 4-6 eggs a day, or are you a p*ssy who only eats the whites?

6. Tell us, McCain, what have you learned from living through the Civil War, WW1, WW2, Vietnam and the current Iraq sitch?

7. Would you rather have George Bush walk in on you having sex, or walk in on he and Laura doin’ the naughty dance?

8. What would you do to Osama Bin Laden if you had him in your office right now (and no one was watching)?

9. Would you eat PB slices?

10. Do you really like holding babies/shaking people’s hands/hugging creepy strangers, or is it all an act?

11. You both claim to want to fix the current Global Warming problem, yet you both tool around this country on airplanes/in giant buses. How can you justify that?

12. Is there any money left in either of your budgets to help Amy Winehouse?

Spencer and Heidi keep talking. Burn hole in my brain.

Tom and Katie are still married…and happy.

Rhode Island mandates domestic violence education in schools.

Sarah Palin damns us all to hell. See ya there!

Lakisha Jones (from American Idol) got married…and everyone is really excited.

Leo can’t be anything but sexy.

No more sexy time for Brad and Angelina.

God, we wish we worked at airport security right about now.

Women don’t let this recession get in our way of beauty!

Justin Bobby and LC? NO WAY!

Happy (sorta) Birthday, Miley Cyrus!

Do you experience drunk-o-vision?

Amy Winehouse’s nose says, “I QUIT!”

Ashley Simpson and Pete Wentz (fashion) emergency.

Did Joe Biden have a little work done? (We knew it!)

I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Did your roommate leave dirty dishes all over your kitchen? Did your 8 am professor ‘forget’ to tell you class was cancelled? Did some girl on her cell with bad high-lights and tacky bumper stickers that say “angel” and other clever things cut you off today? Let it all hang out. I feel you.

Adnan Ghalib.

For many, oh so many, reasons (landing strip facial hair being high on the list). This week, instead of painstakingly choosing one slimy aspect to hate about him, the pappara**hole made my life pretty easy. Listen Addy, poor Brit is finally getting back on her feet (and she’s wearing shoes!) It’s more than coincidence that her HOT new song dropped and you magically happen to have a sex tape starring you (ew) and her. Do us all a favor and stop trying to ride the coat-tails of a woman you drove insane.

Word Association.

In Thursday night’s VP debate, Joe Biden clearly came out on top , but Sarah Palin apparently impressed, as her and MCCain’s rating jumped by 33%. I find this odd, considering Palin added a disclaimer before every response she gave, in addition to manipulating the word “rape” so that American’s would subliminally associate it with her opponent. Huh, it’s weird that she’d try to bring up the topic of rape considering her–ahem– controversial opinions about it (just the usual, rape victims should have to pay and use their insurance for rape kits, impregnated victims shouldn’t have the option to abort…you know, every day stuff.)

Premature Holiday Excitement.

Namely, over Halloween. My inbox is full of spam from seasonal costume stores, Walmart looks like The Nightmare Before Christmas vomited all over it, everything in my life smells like pumpkins and cinnamon (okay, so that’s not too bad), and if I see one more decorative bowl full of candy corn I am becoming a Jehovah’s Witness so that I don’t have to celebrate Halloween…which is still 27 days away. Unfortunately, Michelle Allen–otherwise known as the drunken cow-woman– didn’t get the memo about CC’s position on costumes.

Sean “Puffy” Combs.

Because I give up on memorizing his f*cking ridiculous amount of variations on the word “Daddy.” And because of this. And this. Seriously Didster, if you want to use your celebrity in a public forum to voice your opinions on politics, please contribute something relevant, substantial, or at least partially intelligent.

Congress.

Always an easy target, they really upped the ante this week by putzing around, stalling the passing of a plan that has the potential to keep our economy from going to hell in a handbasket. Particularly those members running for re-election who didn’t pass it because they wanted to play it safe…oh incumbents. Call it a bailout — or, as those who speak Bush say, “rescue plan” (this is our economy we’re talking about, not the latest mission for the freaking Power Rangers)–but it finally did pass on Friday. Unfortunately, it didn’t come soon enough to quell suicide attempts, and probably won’t do anything to resolve the situation foreclosed homeowners find themselves in.

Bar Blocking Idlers.

They clump in large, usually (but not necessarily) Fratty groups, high fiving each other, splicing their profanity with “Dude!”s, and being a general annoyance. This wouldn’t be such a problem if they were not DIRECTLY BLOCKING my path to the bar. Additionally, they all have frosty drinks in hand–drinks that should be in MY hand–to serve as a reminder that I will not be visiting my dear friend the bartender anytime soon. Not to be confused with those creepy guys who lurk by the bar waiting to buy you drinks–lecherous as they are, at least they support my cause…getting sh*tfaced.

Speaking of drinking, I do believe that Happy Hour just may be the best way to soothe my nerves post-rant. But don’t worry, the amount of things that piss me off is infinite, and you can count on a brand new tirade each Sunday. So let’s have it: what realllly pissed you off this week?

Since you were busy kicking a** in Flip Cup last night and not watching SNL (because, really, who watches it much anymore?), we thought we would bring you another pretty awesome Tina Fey/Sarah Palin skit. It may just be the only thing to help you through that Sunday morning hangover.

It doesn’t matter who you supported in the VP debate, the SNL cast pretty much nailed both candidates in this hilarious spoof on Thursday night’s spectacle. Including Joe Biden’s teeth; Sarah Palin’s bf, Joe Six Pack; and that crazy moderator.

Yet another reason why we totally heart Tina Fey. And want to be her. And sometimes dream about auditioning for SNL just to be near her. And maybe finding out where she lives so we can hug her.

What? Too far?

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