Forget the girl with her heart on her sleeve; wear your uterus on your undies?

Some men are really, really desperate.

Katie Perry eats it on national TV.

Now everyone can look like Heidi Klum. Well, sorta.

Joe the Plumber and Joe Six Pack chat it up.

The greatest college pranks…ever.

Columbia gets erotic.

Travis Barker is out of the hospital!

The most delicious iPhone.

Professor trading cards? It’s real!

Joe the Plumber (possibly related to Joe Six-Pack) left the debate looking good – or at least looking important. Whoever this guy is, the candidates sure care a lot about him.

Joe began to take the stage when the debate turned to finicky economic issues – in other words, are these cranky, vote-grubbing politicians actually going to do anything for us, the average American citizen who plans on buying their own business?

Obama’s run-in with Joe bit him in the butt when McCain called him out on his tax proposals; previously, whenever McCain or Palin tried to bust the Democratic candidates on taxes, they had a strong parry: “95% of Americans won’t see a dollar of raised taxes.” Joe the Plumber gave McCain some ammo – here, some dude who just wants to pursue the American dream will, in fact, be affected by the Obama tax plan.

McCain insisted that Obama was planning to “redistribute the wealth” – a big no-no, apparently, and a phrase that McCain used about four million times in the next few minutes.

Of course, Obama didn’t take all this lying down – he fired back that he was giving Americans the tax breaks they really need, and always have needed. In other words, if Joe the Plumber’s clients had more tax breaks, they’d be doing better off and therefore so would Joe. Personally, I just want to know what Joe thinks.

Aside from Joe’s new celebrity status, the debate featured a lot more fire and brimstone from the Republican half of the table. McCain is trailing in the polls, and the results were clear: he was more interested in fighting than Obama, and took a host of shots at the Democratic candidate. He blasted Obama for being weak on confronting his own party, dogged him about his judgment regarding (who else) ACORN and Ayers, and at one point turned directly to Obama to insist “I am not George Bush.”

Strong as his attacks were, though, McCain didn’t manage to level an uphill playing field. Obama spent most of the night playing defense, but in his case, that’s fine – he’s got the breathing room, with an 8% lead in CNN’s Poll of Polls. He didn’t add much to the information we’ve already seen in the last two debates, but perhaps he doesn’t need to; as the election draws closer, post-debate polls are showing increasing numbers of voters enthusiastic about Obama’s ability to lead on both domestic and foreign issues.

Of course, there’s still time left; McCain needs to pound home every swing state in the country to secure the win, but it’s possible. Though Obama has the edge now, there’s no telling how election day will turn out, especially if Russians or alien centipedes invade. Barring either of those circumstances, you’ve got two duties ahead of you, readers: get informed, and vote.

Snappy Sarah Palin might have been on to something when she gave a shout-out to “Joe Sixpack” during the VP debate. Maybe a beer-drinkin’, gut-bustin’ dude is the perfect pick for your next date. Here’s six reasons why.

1. You’ll never have to worry about curbing your alcohol intake at dinner, on dates, at the ballpark, at, well, anywhere. Rest assured he’ll guzzlin’ like a fiend too.

2. Skip the gym, embrace the beer belly. Nothing says bonding like rubbing your swollen gut against his as you climb into bed.

3. No more frivolous lingerie purchases. Your new man has an endless supply of over-sized, well-worn t-shirts. Throw one on, flaunt your bare legs and blow him kisses from the bedroom door. He’ll be on you like a Doberman in heat.

4. Spending a fortune on fancy microbrews? Forget it. Stock up on PBR, Miller Lite and Bud. While you’re at it, throw a king-size bag of super-cheezy nachos in the cart as well.

5. Toss your painful, pinching stilettos. There’s no need to prance around in high heels when most of your dates will take place on his sofa in front of the game.

6. Worried about Joe impressing mom and dad? Never fear. Once they see him crush a beer can with his bare hand they’ll know he can protect their daughter from evil villains… and any other leering rednecks.

It doesn’t matter who you supported in the VP debate, the SNL cast pretty much nailed both candidates in this hilarious spoof on Thursday night’s spectacle. Including Joe Biden’s teeth; Sarah Palin’s bf, Joe Six Pack; and that crazy moderator.

Yet another reason why we totally heart Tina Fey. And want to be her. And sometimes dream about auditioning for SNL just to be near her. And maybe finding out where she lives so we can hug her.

What? Too far?

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