• Joel Madden has a 1 in 4 chance of being Nicole Richie’s baby daddy.

• And the World’s Richest Supermodel is…

• Perez challenges Gummi Bear Davis to a duel.

• Duke University hates your iPhone.

• Every Sorority has that one fat guy.

Like nails scratching a chalkboard, I cannot stand PDA. Some call me cold. Some call me heartless. I call myself considerate of humankind.A peck on the cheek here and there, fine. You like each other. You’re having a lot of sex. I get it. But Lapdog Syndrome seems to be the STD plaguing my peers even more so than syphilis.

You know the symptoms: the girlfriend becomes a lifeless, glassy – eyed rag doll on the overprotective boyfriend’s lap. It’s more precious than erotic, but equally gag – inducing. It’s almost as bad as the patented crotch – grab. Read More »

Is it just me, or does Hilary Duff never seem very happy?

Sure, she’s on the cover of magazines posing with her new abs proclaiming that she’s comfortable at 5’2” and 109 pounds (down almost 20 pounds from her reported weight of 130 in 2003), has been seen out and about since her split with ugly, ugly, ugly Joel Madden, and is giving interviews saying she’s “all set” with the ending of her first big love affair…but I just can’t help detecting weariness in between all those words.

First of all, at 5’2”, 109 is not the easiest weight to maintain. I’m that height, and the last time I weighed 109 was when I had just gotten out of surgery and spent three weeks puking from anesthesia side-effects. These days I’m almost spot on with the Duffster’s old weight, and even those numbers prove to be difficult when it’s 98 degrees and all I want is a giant cone from Cold Stone Creamery.

Second, it’s gotta be hard as hell to see your Ex cavorting around Hollywood with Nicole Richie, and even harder to know he got the chick pregnant. Read More »

TMZ is reporting that Laguna Beach douchebag Spencer Pratt (boyfriend of the vapid Heidi) and Nicole Riche’s baby daddy Joel Madden had a little bit of a run in last Saturday.

According to Pratt himself, Nicole’s Tattooed Ticket Out of Jail came up to him at the Beverly Hills Hotel screaming “you’ve been talking shit about my girl!” and wouldn’t stop until he was forcibly removed from the area.

Spencer claims it was all a “misunderstanding” stemming from “an interview in Details ages ago where I was misquoted, calling Nicole a skinny bitch. It’s all a misunderstanding. I’ve always thought she’s a really nice girl and I wouldn’t call her that.”

Ugh. Nothing makes me dry heave faster than a rich prick trying to cover his tracks. Looks like Heidi’s got herself her very own BSG.

Good job, Boobalicious. Here’s hoping he’ll love you as much as he loves his hair.

Have you heard the rumors? Nicole Richie might be pregnant. With that ugly guy’s baby. What’s his name? Joel “My Face Looks Like Someone Punched It Repeatedly” Madden.

The two have only been together a few months, but sources are saying that Nicole definitely has one in the oven, and might have just done so to keep herself out of jail.

What? you say, that’s a horrible reason to have a baby! You say that because you’re a rational human being with a tight grip on reality. Ms. Richie is not like you. She has a famous dad and lots of money and spends her time doing nothing. She’s also facing jail time for a DWI arrest that happened earlier this year. Dealing with consequences is not on her agenda—it’s too full of doing nothing—and since she’s removed from the normalcy you and I inhabit every day, having a baby to stay out of jail probably seems like a fantastic idea.

What do you think, lovelies? Is Nicole spoiled enough to have herself a Keep-Me-Out-Of-Jail baby? Or is it just media speculation?

Ah, lists of hot men in Hollywood. I can’t say I’ll ever get sick of seeing who makes the cut. Which is why I was totally excited when I saw that AOL Music too partakes in the whole ranking of hottest, but exclusively with single male musicians: “Music’s Sexiest Single Men.”

Guys who can sing and play the guitar … need I say more.

Obvious guys were selected, like Justin Timberlake (my future husband), Jared Leto, Kenny Chesney and Bow Wow (what? he’s turned into a really nice piece of young man). But then there are the questionable few — Lance Bass? Josh Groban? Dave Navarro? They’re definitely not my idea of “sexy.”

Check out the rest of these dudes.

Photos after the jump Read More »

Tis the season for celebrity breakups. First, John and Jess split, and now, multiple sources are reporting that Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden have ended their relationship.

Finally, is all I have to say. I was never a fan of this couple due to their immediate hookup after Madden’s break up with sweet, innocent, Hilary Duff. I think it was an inevitable end to a hookup that was basically a rebound for the rocker.

Supposedly they broke up on a recent trip to Australia and Madden dumped her for being “too clingy.” Of course she is clingy…One sudden gust of wind would knock her tiny body right over. Who else would she have to hold onto?

All joking aside, perezhilton has also been reporting rumors of their split for the past couple days, and pointed out that they have not been seen together since their return.

Sionara Ritchie and Madden, you won’t be missed!