Candy Dish: Avril’s Got a New Boyfriend

And it’s Lilo’s sloppy seconds. Though, who isn’t?

Tread lightly, Ryan Seacrest.

Will John McCain fight back against Sarah Palin?

Speaking of Sarah, get the rundown of her interview with Oprah.

5 reasons kissing is good for you!

Wrong goal. Adorable video.

Weekly Ten: I Wish Sarah Palin Was My Mommy

palin_sarah.jpgLetterman and Palin’s tiff over his hilarious and, okay, slightly horrible and sexist comments, had the media’s focus back on our favorite Alaskan governor: Mrs. Sarah Palin. Finally – after a lot of back, forth and all around – the two kissed and made up and all is right with the late night funnyman and ex-candidate for VP, who, shocker, has a sense of humor?

Inspired by the feud and by Letterman’s classic “Top Ten” format, I’ve decided to do a Weekly Ten on whatever the presses and our readers are buzzing about. Late Night, CollegeCandy style. Now even though Palin jokes are so last fall, as a tribute to both Dave and Ms. Palin, I’m going to kick off the “Weekly Ten” with the Top Ten reasons I wish Sarah Palin was my Mommy. Apologies to my own mommy, the cougar version of Barack Girl. Still love you, mom!

10. Never ending shades of lipstick to borrow!
Warning: even with perfect application, these cosmetics may still make you a pig.

9. MILF!
And GILF! Maybe she can give pointers on how to age gracefully. Provided you don’t care about anything other than looking fly in glasses and a red skirt suit.

8. Exotic digs.
I mean, this is just a gimme: she can see Russia from her house.

7. Homegirl can bust a rhyme
Oh wait, that’s Amy Poehler. Another point for cool SNL moms.

6. Never ending supply of skirt suits!
Also a bonus if you want to be a flight attendant. Notice how I didn’t say slutty. Take note, David. Read More »

Candy Dish: Britney’s Officially Back, Bitches

circus.jpgBritney kicks off her world tour tonight!

Worried about those spring break hook ups? Check out these do’s and don’ts.

Did politics kill Meghan McCain’s libido?

Jesse McCartney is looking pretty hot in this just-released video.

Looks like mama Lohan is finally starting to worry.

What do you think, is Angelina a better blonde or brunette?

Sharon Osbourne is being sued for battery, negligence and infliction of emotional distress.

Nerds vs. Geeks: its all in the definition.

How far would you go for a Nintendo DS.

Danielle Lloyd talks domestic Violence.

Candy Dish: The Hair Definitely Makes the Man

rpatzzhairhair.jpgRobert Pattinson: so not hot without the hair.

Sarah Palin’s thoughts on McCain’s campaign.

50 reasons to be sad about the end of the Bush era.

Mary-Kate Olsen sees the silver lining!

What is the healthiest city for women?

Design your own Office t-shirt!

Why is Jodi Sweetin famous again?

Top 10 feuds of 2008.

Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell’s son is sick.

The hottest arm candy of the season.

The Pissed List: Remaking Full House Would Be Like Repainting The Mona Lisa (Unnecessary!)

full-house-cast.jpg[It's the first full week of December, and while the rest of the world gears up for The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, I still need to take a break from the constant holiday cheer. The following is this week’s Pissed List, so if you’ve got to vent, too, just holla atcha girl!]

1. The Full House Remake

You weren’t a child of the ’90s unless you watched “Full House” (and if you didn’t, you seriously missed out on some major TGIF action). You knew the Tanner family. You still catch reruns when you stumble upon them flipping through the channels. You pause, you catch a Kimmy Gibbler cameo and laugh, and you remember how things were. And that’s how it should be. Now that John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos is proposing a Full House remake show, all our classic memories may be tainted. Seeing the aged DJ and Steph and the rest of the gang is just going to make me feel like an old fart. And the next thing you know, people are going to start making covers of good ’90s songs, and I’m going to start thinking to myself, “the original ‘Quit Playin Games With My Heart’ was so much better,” and then I will have turned into my mother, and this can’t happen during my 20s.

2. The Obama Citizenship Scandal

I don’t quite follow why this is happening (for all practical purposes, the presidential transition is already underway, and the last thing this country needs is more divisive action), but someone is suing Barack Obama, disputing his US citizenship and thus his claim to the presidency. For the record, Obama was born on August 4, 1961 in Hawaii, which became a member of the Union in 1959. Now what’s the problem? (And let’s not forget that former-rival John McCain was born in Panama on US-zoned territory). Read More »

G.W.W.E.: Barack “Oh Baby” Obama

barack-obama.jpg(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff] and this week we are goin’ all the way to the top. Yes, ladies, we are takin’ it to the Oval Office, a place we have been fantasizing about for years. Barack Obama was a sexy law student, a sexy political organizer, a sexy senator, and now he is our sexy Presidente. His brains, bod and power are the perfect combination and make us wanna eff him on that big oak desk.)

I voted for Obama. Not because he was the hotter of the two candidates, but those pictures of him in a bathing suit didn’t hurt his cause. My love for Obama, however, runs deeper than simply his abilities to lead our country out of this current financial mess.

I think he’s hot. And if Michelle weren’t in the picture, I’d totally eff him.

He’s got everything I look for in a man. He’s smart (Harvard Law School grad), he’s a family man, he’s powerful, he can dance, he’s a great speaker, and he loves to play sports. He also happens to have some roots in the midwest, which just makes him a perfectly effable catch.

And he looks damn good in a suit.

Barack Obama has inspired people worldwide with his message of change and proved that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it.

Is it so bad that turns me on? And that while he may be a bit busy at the moment (dealing with the American Automaker crisis and nominating people like Rob Namors, Peter Orszag and Hillary Clinton to his cabinet) I still wouldn’t mind sneaking into his office for a little eff sesh between meetings?

What? His time management skills are just another reason I want to eff him.

Whether Democrat Or Republican, This Is One Party We Can ALL Enjoy!

electionparty.jpgToday is Election Day, and your only real responsibility is to vote. Whether you’re affixing a stamp to an absentee ballot or pulling the lever in a voting booth, get out there and make your opinon heard!

But, we in the youngest (and perhaps extremely influential) voting demographic also reserve our right to party! And after all the ballots are cast, tonight is shaping up to be the biggest party night in America. So after you’ve done your civic duty, grab your friends and get ready to watch the returns with these creative suggestions:

The Setting:

Make sure you have the essentials: a television and ample seating room. But why not spruce up the space for the occasion? If you’re lucky to have the day off from classes today (as we do at my school– thank you, Fordham!), take a few minutes to make some posters! Rasterbator is an online application that will make any image you choose into a poster up to 20 meters in size. (The image will be blown up and printed out in pieces on regular 8 1/2 x 11″ sheets of paper, so you just assemble the sheets like a grid.) It’s really quick, extremely simple, and only requires the internet and a printer.

The Games

Take it a step further by printing two posters (one of Obama and one of McCain) and grabbing some construction paper. Cut out 50 squares from construction paper and label them with the names of each state. Have your guests tack each respective state onto the poster of the candidate who wins it, to keep track of election returns. Read More »

5 Reasons To Get To The Polls

printelect-i-voted-today.gifHappy Election Day, everyone! I have been waiting for this day for four freaking years, so I can’t wait to head to the polls and get my vote on. If you aren’t quite as stoked as I am, and think you have better things to do than sit around in a long ass line and submit a ballot (full of things you don’t understand), think again.

There are lots of great reasons to vote. Here are just a few of the biggest and baddest:

1. Exercise your right: There are people in this world who don’t have the right to vote. We do, and that is something we should not take for granted. We are so fortunate to be able to have a say in who leads us, what laws get passed and the future of our country. Being that we are college students, this election effects us the most as we will be the people getting jobs, making changes and moving this country forward. We must not sit back and let other people decide our future!

2. Free donuts: Wear your “I Voted” sticker into a neighborhood Krispy Kreme and get a special election themed donut free!

3. Free coffee: Take that free donut and head to the Bucks where you can get a free tall coffee just for casting your vote. The perfect (free) breakfast.

4. Free ice cream: Go vote early so you can get some free Ben and Jerry’s from 5-8.

5. Free sex toys: Those who vote deserve a little pleasure, so head to Babeland to pick up your free Silver Bullet mini vibrator. This thing totally puts the OH! in Obama.

Seriously, if you don’t care about the future of this country (what is wrong with you!?), then at least vote for the free food. I mean, free Starbucks?! That’s gotta be worth something.

Candy Dish: It’s Election Day!

middle.jpg

Did Obama give McCain the finger?

Who needs a man? Go to the movies alone!

Someone got the axe at Grey’s Anatomy.

OMFG. He’s so hot.

The election night drinking game.

What happens if the other dude wins?

So, Joe the Plumber didn’t get with that chick from SNL…

Tips for acing every class.

You’ve done your civic duty – now treat yourself!

 

Tips for a Stress-Free Voting Day!

j0384874.jpgElection day is right around the corner and I am sure many of you are already stressed and panicked about it. Here’s a list from huliq.com with some tips for ensuring your voting is as stress free as possible.

These people are pretty serious about making sure their election day runs smoothly, but here are some ideas to make sure your election day is overall AWESOME!

They say… “Vote early if you can.”

We say… Smoke pot early if you can.

They say… “Do not wear T-Shirts or other paraphernalia in support of your candidate. In most states, “political activity” is not allowed within 50 feet of a building used for voting.”

We say… Be proud of your candidate! Rock that ‘Barack My World‘ or ‘McCain Is My Homeboy‘ T-Shirts! Are they REALLY gonna arrest you for showin’ some U.S.A pride?! I think not. Just don’t rally or anything, they might arrest you for that.

They say… “Make sure you’re registered, before you vote. There are reports that thousands of names have been purged from voter polls.”

We say... They’ve got a point. You don’t wanna show up all pumped to make your mark on history only to find that your name has been PURGED. Check out www.canivote.org to make sure you’re still legit to vote. Read More »