As I’m sure anyone with an internet connection, mobile phone, or the ability to read knows: John Mayer is a tremendous douche bag. In a recent interview with Playboy, he reminds America (as if his Twitter feed wasn’t proof enough) why he is the most irritating dbag on the planet. I will reiterate douchebag multiple times in this article because I am fairly certain if you check the ingredients on Summer’s Eve, the primary ingredient is John Mayer.

Okay, sure, John Mayer shouts out his exes, claims his cock is a “white supremacist,” will do anything for attention, makes that nasty face when he sings and just generally looks like a grease ball who invented HPV, but certainly there have to be worse guys out there. And there are.

So allow me to list 10 guys who are even more un-dateable than the totally un-dateable Mr. Mayer. Read More »

Every week, I write a list. Okay, let’s cut the crap, we all get it by now. Every Monday morning at 9 AM you can count on a Weekly Ten from Melanie – Northeastern University popping onto your Google Reader or whatever you use to read the beloved CollegeCandy.

Anyway, these lists (lately) have been pretty mild and have settled down since my hipster-hating era. Let’s chalk that one up to me getting laid more frequently these days. Hurray! (Although, hipsters, I still am NOT impressed.)

This is not one of those lists. This week I have been pretty ticked off about, I don’t know, everything? I’d like to blame my new birth control but who knows? It could just be the weather or the fact that I fell on my face in front of about thirty people the other night when I attempted to drunkenly pounce someone and now my knee really, really hurts and I’m cranky about it and the only way I can make myself feel better is to dress up celebrities on Stardoll.com (Yes, I am aware that I’m 21 and, no, I do not care).

It does not matter. Here are the top ten things that annoy me, without fail.

10. Empty boxes left in the pantry or snack drawer at work
What the eff? When I want a granola bar and I see a box in the cupboard, I expect there to be a granola bar INSIDE the box. How hard is it to throw away an empty box after eating the last delicious S’Mores Luna bar? Seriously.

9. Ironing
Okay, can anyone else relate to this? I just feel like I’m pushing wrinkles to different spots. Extra annoying if I’m not even ironing my own clothes because for some reason I’m the designated laundry bitch in my relationship. I feel like Paris Hilton trying to be domestic – no skills. Read More »

Give me your wardrobe and go away, Kardashians!

Every time I turn on the television, pick up a magazine or check my Twitter and favorite gossip websites, there are certain celebrities that just won’t go away. They’re always doing something idiotic or annoying and they make sure we all know about it. These particular celebs have taken over 2009 and I’m not about to let them ruin 2010 for me.

Here are the top 10 celebrities I could do without in 2010:

1. Lindsay Lohan – We all get it. You have daddy issues. He won’t support you. And by you I mean your addiction to prescription drugs, cocaine and spray-on tans. You’ve drained this girl’s pity dry after your 100^th failed attempt at rehab. Get clean or be gone, you orange oompa loompa.

2. The Gosselins – I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you’ve done to those adorable kids. You should both be ashamed of yourselves. Maddie and Cara act more mature than you have this past year. And I don’t care how many times you change your hairstyle, Kate, I’m over you.

3. Kanye West – I’ve loathed you for years, Mr. West. Remember this humble quote: “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice.”  You certainly were the loudest voice at the VMA’s this year, sir. And you will go down in history as an arrogant, SOB. Oopsies. Read More »

Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list…or that list, because I don’t really do groceries (there is a reason why they deliver pizza) and to-do lists are totally not my scene (if such a scene even exists) and, unfortunately, I haven’t added to that list in quite awhile.

No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever or which apps rock my world.

This week, as we round out 2009, I’ve picked out our favorite media-buzz worthy events of the year. Keep in mind that this list will include a lot more cheating and Ed Hardy than Healthcare reform and economic crashes. (Sorry Madoff, I’m just not that into you).

10. Letterman Gets “Creepy” With His Staff
And somehow still comes out looking like the man for fessing up. Undesirable actions, admirable apology. Take note…

9. Tiger Woods
He’s changing his name to “Cheetah.”

8. Lady Gaga Takeover
As the year progressed, so did the world’s love for Gaga. Opening up the year with “Poker Face” and “Just Dance,” Gaga inspired many Halloween costumes, a rediscovered love for good pop music and rounded out the year with the inspired and wacky “Bad Romance.” Read More »

Lesson Learned: Bloody hot mess on stage = best career move EVER

Is it just me, or does it seem like almost every celebrity out there had some giant scandal in 2009? I feel like I spent at least 3/4 of the year crouched in front of the TV or refreshing my news on the internet just to keep up. From Michael Jackson’s shocking death, to cheating husbands, to a family sending a silver balloon in the air and forcing their family to lie just to get on TV, the scandals have gone from serious and sad to very WTF worthy.

Seriously, WTF, 2009?

But I guess when it comes down to it, all of this (hot) mess can do some good. I mean, even if Tiger’s marriage doesn’t work out and Carrie Prejean’s sex tapes continue to circulate to the point that her career is really over, at least I learned a few things. And all without having a giant mess on my hands.

So thank you, celebs, for being the anti-role models that I need and teaching me some very important life lessons. Below, the top 10 lessons I learned in 2009:

1. Do Not Send Naked Photos. Just Don’t! You’d think I would know this already, but celebs just keep drilling it into my head. Too bad they still aren’t learning the lesson. Among others, naked pics of Rihanna, Carrie Prejean, Ashley Greene, and Vanessa Hudgens (again) popped up on the Internet this year. And got passed around quicker than the Swine Flu in a college dorm. So the next time that guy you barely know asks for some sexy pictures via text, think about this: there is 90% chance that those images could come back to haunt you. And a 100% chance if you break his heart.

2. Don’t Do Drugs! We’ve heard that message a million times, but it never rang more true than when the world lost Michael Jackson. Of course, we also have a few other people drilling this point home. Like Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Steven Tyler…. Read More »

So what was it that took her life?

Taylor Swift gets another award.

That lipstick is killer. Literally.

Britney still can’t make her own decisions.

Get hot indie designers at discount prices.

Who are the most toxic bachelors?

Now that all my Christmas shopping is done, I’ve realized that there are a few people I forgot about this year. They may not be my closest family or friends, but they have made 2009 a memorable year for me. And for that, they deserve the world.

So, despite the fact that their assistants and private security will probably send these gifts away before they have the chance to open and enjoy them, here is my list of gifts I’ll be picking up for my favorite Hollywood A (and D) Listers.

Read More »

What the hell, Shane Sparks?!

The Gosselin’s are officially done. Thank god.

Wanna smell like Beyonce?

Happy Birthday, Brad Pitt. You’re old.

What does Madonna love more than sex?

Did the Enquirer know about Tiger in 2007??

What will the world do without Glee?

Justin Timberlake loves the flirtin’.

Frosty the Snowman is naughty!

7 annoying things about the holiday season.

Way to act like an adult, Jon Gosselin.

Who are the biggest gay icons?

Goodbye, Jon and Kate Plus 8!

What do you think of the structured shoulder?

Nick Lachey is employed.

What is Robert Pattinson most afraid of?

Is anyone really shocked by this Hugh Hefner news?

And this is why you should always leave a tip.