Now that Kate Plus 8 has FINALLY been canceled, it’s time for us reality show enthusiasts to push aside our constant indulging of these guilty pleasures for the sake of the children involved. There really is no reason why Kate Gosselin needed to drag the show on so much longer after her public, messy divorce and I’m sure it took quite the toll on the children emotionally. By the show’s end, it seemed to us viewers that Kate couldn’t step away from the fame.

Now, I fear for all of those other celebrity reality children who were forced to mature under the constant watch of television cameras. There’s no question that they’re going to need celebrity rehab thanks to their parents. Here are the 10 celeb-reality kids who have rehabilitation in their near futures. For them, we pray.

initiating the gallery...

Would you tell him if he has a small…thingy

She owes her plastic surgeon major moola

5 droolworthy bags

Does your number matter?

Not really digging this fashion challenge

What she learned dating women

Someone’s all grown up!

He continues to be a horrible person

Fall TV: What to watch and what to skip.

Ashton Kutcher shoots down cheating rumors.

Oooo Diddy’s in trouble.

5 reasons school is better than summer.

Sunless tanners should come with warning labels.

Wow, Jon Gosselin is worse than we thought.

Wait, is that a THREAT?

Want a sneak peek at Old Navy’s (adorbs) fall collection?

10 celebrities you should never, EVER date.

Fall beauty trends. Bring on the weird.

Wanna be happier? Move west.

Make your legs look a mile long.

I don’t know if it’s the hot temperatures, summer boredom or what, but peeps in Hollywood are getting crazier by the minute. Just when we thought celebs would settle down with a margarita and a good book, they turned up the crazy ten-fold. Mel Gibson is a totally loony tunes, but I’m really not sure if he can steal the cray cray title from Jeremy London. Or Miley Cyrus, who decided to get more extensions.

And that’s not even the half of it! Al Gore’s “sex poodle” (wha?) case has been reopened and Jon Gosselin got a horrendous tat. Though that probably surprises no one.

Oh to be famous…

Spicy

1. Mel Gibson and baby mama Oksana Grigorieva have been slamming each other in a custody battle over their daughter, Lucia. Apparently, Oksana left the fallen actor to keep her kids safe from his allegedly abusive hands. She claims he hasn’t paid any child support since she left and that Mel punched her in the face, knocking out her two front teeth back in January (!!). Mel, of course, states that all of this is false and Oksana is just angry, but she has the dentist reports from the day after to prove it. AND Oksana taped Mel several times yelling horrific comments toward her. May-jah scandal. Oh how the mighty (and formerly sexy) have fallen.

2. In more crazy news, Jeremy London was denied a restraining order against his own family this week. He filed the restraining order against his twin brother Jason, Jason’s girlfriend, and his mom to keep them from talking to the media about his kidnapping! Jeremy is apparently really mad that his family is trying to steal his “spotlight.” Because that’s normal. Note to Jeremy: faking a kidnapping and getting high is NOT going to help your career. It’s over. 7th Heaven was your peak. Let’s move on.

3. It’s been a long time since this came up, but Elin Nordegren has been working with her divorce lawyers this week to finalize her divorce to Mr. Scum, Tiger Woods. Reports say that Elin will get $750 million in return for her eternal silence about the scandal, which includes books, interviews, and television appearances. Wow, that’s quite the deal. However, Tiger was only worth $600 million last year (ha!) and since he lost all of his endorsements for being a total schmuck, it’s probably gone down. We’ll see how this plays out. Go get ‘em Elin!

4. Last week, the Al Gore sex fiend scandal was closed due to insufficient evidence, but now it’s back open. The alleged victim, Molly Hagerty, demanded that the case be reopened because she believes Gore is a “sexual predator.” She also claims she has DNA evidence and that the security tapes show everything. I claim ew and ew. I don’t want to know about any “DNA evidence” and I sure as hell don’t need to see a video, thankyouverymuch.

5. Last we heard, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green got engaged. Well, now they’re married! That was quick. Could there be a little Foxy on the way… or is this just another poor attempt at being taken seriously? We shall see.

Mild

1. Zoe Saldana and her boyfriend Keith Britton got engaged this week! They’ve been dating for 10 years! That’s longer than 4 Hollywood marriages combined. Congrats!!

2. Last week Miley got her nasty extensions out – hooray! This week, she bought new ones – boo! Not only does she look worse, but they also cost a reported $24,000. I could pay a year’s tuition with that.

3. Jon Gosselin was seen sporting a heinous new tat this week of a dragon holding a scroll with the names and birth dates of all eight kiddies that, apparently, symbolizes rebirth. Or douchiness. Whatever, I just can’t wait to see what this looks like after Jon does his inevitable run on Celebrity Fit Club. Saggy dragon say what?

4. The cast of the Twilight Saga wants Betty White to play baby Renesmee! Do the majority of Twilight fans even know who this woman is?

5. Since Eclipse came out this week, enjoy new vamp Xavier Samuel.

Listen to Lady Gaga’s newest song.

Uh oh. Rihanna’s in trouble.

Can you guess how much you spend on shoes?

How to handle your friend’s gross PDA.

This season, embrace coral eyeshadow.

Ew! Nice Ed Hardy tat, Jon Gosselin.

And not just because he’s Jon Gosselin….

Bring on the shine with these gorge metallic bags.

Show us your abs, Taylor Lautner. SHOW US!

It’s all about the bright and beautiful this summer.

What makes that boy so irresistible? Find out.

Is Kevin Costner going to clean up this oil mess?

Rumor has it Taylor Momsen is done with GG.

Ball State’s got a strange issue on their hands….

Even Jesse James’ kids prefer Sandra….

10 secrets to having major body confidence.

Oy! What is up with SJP’s arms?

Will there be a Jon and Kate Plus 8, part 2?

What is wrong with this girl?

In light of the recent engagement of mesh-shirt-wearing, Twitter-obsessed Michael Lohan and former Jon Gosselin flame Kate Majors (the chick who quit her job at Star Magazine because she had fallen in love with the deadbeat dad), we are forced to wonder: could Kate Major be in the Guinness Book for World Records for having the worst taste in men on this planet?

We thought so, but then we started thinking and, while sad and seemingly impossible, there are a few women out there who might be digging even deeper in the dung pit of horrible men. And here they are: the only 5 women on earth who have worst taste than Ms. Major.

Britney Spears:
How could we even start a list like this without this woman?  With the exception of Justin Timberlake (and hey, we don’t even know if he’s that awesome as a bf) her dating list has been a train wreck.  I mean, we owe the celebrity of KFed to her alone. And who can forget that time she invited paparazzi Adnan Ghalib to get a first-hand look at her life? Ugh, don’t even get me started on that facial hair. Brava, Britney, brava.

Jessica Simpson:
When she first came on the scene, we loved her as the newlywed to boybander Nick Lachey.  Precious.  But following the end of that marriage, it was stinker after stinker.  John Mayer?  Scum.  Tony Romo?  Engaged less than a year after their two-year relationship ends.  Billy Corgan?  …Weird.

Ashlee Simpson:
I guess when your dad is Joe Simpson you’re pretty much guaranteed to fall for dbags. When we first heard of Jessica’s punky younger sister she was dating Ryan Cabrera.  At the time, this wasn’t so bad, but seriously?  That guy?  We get it, your dad was managing him too, but his hair actually makes me angry.  Now, she’s happily wedded to…Pete Wentz.  Yes, that Pete Wentz, who wears more eyeliner than me, got a tattoo of his friend’s face on himself and has been known to walk around with a paper plate mask on to “fool” the paparazzi.  Good one, dude.  Wah wah.

Sandra Bullock:
Sorry, but home girl has to be on here. Sure, she’s had some pretty great guys in her past (Tate Donovan and Ryan Gosling, just to name some hotness), but her recent dud cancels all that out. From the facial hair to the tats to the whole “I’m secretly a neo-Nazi who likes to bang other women on my office couch,” Jesse James is pretty scumtastic. You know the guy is bad when I’d rather spend a night with Jon Gosselin than spend a minute breathing the same air as this guy.

Anyone Who’s Ever Been on Rock/Flavor of Love: Ok so for at least three seasons, women were falling all over themselves to get with either Bret Michaels or Flava Flav.  Yes, Flava Flav.  An aging rock star with extensions and tattooed eyeliner is pretty bad, but it has to be said, at least at one point Bret Michaels was hot.  Flava Flav looks like a tiny raisin wearing a clock around his neck.  That is like cartoon character status, but for some insane reason, skanks the world over want to be this guy’s lady.  That is the ultimate in bad taste.  Sorry hos, your time is up.

As I’m sure anyone with an internet connection, mobile phone, or the ability to read knows: John Mayer is a tremendous douche bag. In a recent interview with Playboy, he reminds America (as if his Twitter feed wasn’t proof enough) why he is the most irritating dbag on the planet. I will reiterate douchebag multiple times in this article because I am fairly certain if you check the ingredients on Summer’s Eve, the primary ingredient is John Mayer.

Okay, sure, John Mayer shouts out his exes, claims his cock is a “white supremacist,” will do anything for attention, makes that nasty face when he sings and just generally looks like a grease ball who invented HPV, but certainly there have to be worse guys out there. And there are.

So allow me to list 10 guys who are even more un-dateable than the totally un-dateable Mr. Mayer.

10. Jon Gosselin Michael Lohan?
As a personal pact to myself to not name he-who-shall-not-be-named-ed hardy-ear piercing-hailey-glassman-screwing-child exploiting-a**hole, I will say, ugh, Michael Lohan. Any creepy show biz dads have to be worse than @JohnCMayer.

9. Spencer Pratt
Well thank golly he’s taken by his lovely Barbie, Heidi. Who wouldn’t love a guy so charming with his creepy flesh colored beard and all?

8. The Situation
Pauly D? Yes please. As for The Situation, this old-as-balls washed up Guido can get out. Creep!

7. Dane Cook
If I wanted to be with someone unfunny, obnoxious and sweaty, then he’d be the perfect man. Seriously, can you imagine the arm-flailing this guy would pull in the bedroom? Ugh.

6. Chris Brown
Enough said.

5. Perez Hilton
Now I know he isn’t into girls and I know he hates John Mayer (probably even more than I do), but still, certifiable douche. Leave Miley alone!

4. P.Diddy
No, I do not want to wake up in the morning feeling like I’m a cocky, entitled, untalented a**hole.

3. Kanye West
Although I am totally team Kanye over that devil child T.Swift, I could never date this man. If John Mayer and his egos got into a fight, it would be a tough call, but I’m sure Kanye’s would take a cheap shot and win.

2. Tom Cruise
Dude is just straight up creepy.

1. John Mayer
What can I say? He’s an a**hole AND his music sucks. And seriously? That O face? Ugh.