Wait, what’s that? You just threw up in your mouth a little?
Levi might be conventionally attractive, but his status as Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy, Jon Gosselin’s new buddy – Michael Lohan must be green with envy – and an all-around jerk (in response to New York Magazine asking him how he was adjusting to life in the Big Apple, Levi said, “I run this city. It ain’t no thang.” UGH) means that we’re less than excited about the idea of having naked pictures of this asshat plastered all over the internet next week.
After giving the matter some thought, we realized that there are actually only five guys that we’d be even more opposed to seeing in their birthday suits. Read the list if you dare—the thought of these dudes naked might just make you shudder. Read More »
“Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.” – Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
And that is exactly what I plan to do on this day, National Sandwich Day. Sit in peace and eat my go-to sandwich: the T.B.M sandwich from Cosi. With only a mere three ingredients, this sandwich somehow speaks to my soul and brightens even the darkest of days (no thanks to you, Daylight Savings Time.) If this sandwich was a man, I’d be rolling around in bed with it right now. Hell, maybe I’ll do it anyway.
My love of sandwiches and my love of men run almost parallel to each other on the mathematical graph of my life, intersecting only at the moment someone lets me eat a sandwich and have sex at the same time. That’s the stuff dreams are made of. And until that time comes, I’ve thought up a few sandwich ideas that bring my two weaknesses together. Read More »
You know that scene in Superbad, where Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are talking about the girl who got a breast reduction and Jonah Hill says, “Why would she do that? It’s like slapping God in the face.”
Well, several weeks ago, I “slapped God in the face.”
Sure, the road to recovery is a bumpy one: Pain like you wouldn’t believe, that can’t even be fixed by prescriptions. The healing of scars. Ruining every bra with ointments to help me get better…
But all the negatives aside, here are my favorite things about my breast reduction thus far.
Hi, my face is up here: You can’t believe how refreshing it is to have guys look at my face instead of just my chest. I used to have full-on conversations with people and their eyes somehow stayed fixated on my chest the entire time. Classy, right? It’s nice to be reminded that some people in this world do make eye contact.
Cutest bras EVER: Why didn’t Victoria’s Secret ever make fun bras in my old size? Read More »
Walk Hard is upcoming Judd Apatow comedy film expected to be released in December of 2007. The movie will star John C. Reilly as famous musician Dewey Cox and Jenna Fischer as his wife Darlene. The movie will be a parody of musician biopics like Ray and Walk the Line.
You know that scene in 
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