Whenever I go to buy my Maxim magazine every month, I always end up purchasing random manly things to go along with it.  No, I don’t lift my Maxim from the rack and rush to buy some Gold Bond and a wax cloth for my… car, but I’m almost there. Today, I bought Maxim, skin-on hot dogs and five dollar parachute man-elastic ankle sweatpants. Here’s to expressing your male strengths, ladies! Sometimes ya gotta kick back in noisy pants, bite into a hot dog and read about Socom 4 and Lupe Fiasco.

While doing just that (with mustard dripping on my chest), I discovered something about Maxim and the women in it. Are you ready for this jelly? Here it is: Remember in high school college when all of your friends would make stripper names out of the street you lived on and your first pet’s name?  Well, you can do the same thing with Maxim cover girl names.  All you have to do is pick your favorite Disney character and your favorite weather element.

Mine is Belle Thunder. BOOM.

Go ahead, try it.

After you get a good laugh, come back to me.  We have a lot to discuss about this month’s May-day in Maxim.  First of all, another day, another dollar article dedicated to a girl with cute butt creases saying “I can’t handle a guy that is scared I’m a big eater!”  I’m serious, this is what she actually said. Or didn’t say; how can she talk with a mouth full of collard greens and fried chicken?

Later, I found a pretty hilarious article giving guys the low-down on creating a 5-second beach bod. Maxim’s advice? Strap an ice pack under your wife beater to give the illusion of a six-pack and enhance your nether regions by tossing a paper-towel cardboard tube in your underpanties.  But, Maxim advises to stay clear from the Christmas wrapping tubes as  those may attract horses.  Well thank heavens! Christmas tubes at the Kentucky Derby this month could have been lethal and extremely awkward for everyone involved! Read More »

Welcome to a brand-new College Candy feature: The Rival Rundown! We’ll be taking a look at the oldest, fiercest, and even funniest rivalries between colleges and universities all over the country. We’re going to be examining everything from mascots to mess halls to the most obnoxious traditions, all with the intent of determining which schools are ballin’ out of control.

And if you’ve always wanted to give props to your school on CC, now’s your chance! Shoot us an email explaining what’s awesome and unique about your school (or what stinks about Rival U) at rivalrundown@collegecandy.com!

What better rivalry is there to begin with than arguably the oldest and most prestigious in the country? That’s right, its Harvard versus Yale, baby! The two Ivy League institutions have been duking it out since 1852 at the inception of the first Harvard-Yale Regatta.  Now, their rivalry extends beyond crew to who gets the top US News & World Report ranking and the largest endowment. Let the hysteria begin!

1. Mascot Matchup

Harvard- The Crimson are…well, a deep red color. Unless you’re hematophobic (fearful of blood), there isn’t much that is particularly intimidating about Crimson. And the “mascot” is technically a charicature of John Harvard, the founder of the institution. Interesting.
Yale- Yalies are ever faithful to their Bulldogs, which has been proudly carried on by seventeen generations of live bulldogs, each named “Handsome Dan.”

Three credits to: Yale–bulldogs are more intimidating and, well…tangible. Read More »

We’re back with another scrumptious G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff), and this week all of our affections belong to none other than Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter.

Derek Jeter is absolutely the total package: drop-dead-gorgeous, an all-star athlete, charming, and above all, a true gentleman.  Ladies have been on deck to eff the champion charmer since his rookie days in 1996. Leading the Yankees to four World Series titles in his first five years as a major leaguer, Jeter’s also been named Rookie of the Year, World Series MVP,  and All-Star MVP, among other awards. (Hey Jete, is that a Golden Glove in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)

Jeter’s always been an example of terrific sportsmanship. He always puts the Yankees first, and gives his unwavering support for teammates even as they face hardship such as injury or steroid-use allegations.  “We just want to win,” he says of the Bronx Bombers. “That’s the bottom line.” And unlike many athletes who are all talk and no action, Jeter backs up his claims by making jaw-dropping catches and swift double-plays. Have you seen this diving catch he made into the stands? His body sure must be durable–I wonder what else it’s capable of doing….

But aside from his achievements on the baseball diamond, Jeter’s a star off the field, too. He’s got a smooth sense of humor (evident from his appearances on Saturday Night Live), is a Midwestern boy at heart, and he knows how to party! Frequently spotted at New York nightclubs (work hard, play hard, right?), I not-so-secretly hope to run into him one of these days.

Read More »