“Guys We Wanna Eff” is generally a speculative column. Each week, we collectively drool over one effable celeb or another, hoping against hope that one day we may be able to live the (effing) dream.

But what would you say if you actually did get to meet the guy in question? Would you collapse in disbelief?  Turn on the charm? Flirt his pants off?  Make a total fool of yourself?

Well, in the case of this week’s lusty lad–Andy Samberg–I actually did get to meet him. On my birthday, no less! It was freshman year and I had gone out to dinner with some friends downtown. We were about to board the subway back to campus when one of my girls started chatting up two guys standing next to us.

Being the super-suave freshman I was, I thought they were Fordham students I hadn’t met yet.  So I walked right up to the cuties and said, “Hey! Wanna come back to my room? It’s my birthday!” As soon as the words left my lips, I realized the guys were none other than Andy Samberg and Akiva Shaffer (2/3 of the comedy trio The Lonely Island, along Jorma Taccone), and they were both looking at me like I had asked them if they wanted to eat liver and onions. Also, they probably thought I was a huge slut. Read More »