Tonight’s episode of The City was all about celebrating the holidays with the people you love… by kicking them out of your apartment.

First Olivia gives Nevan the boot (kindly…or as kindly as she is able to communicate), and then Adam kicks Jay to the curb.

What a way to start the new year, eh?

And, speaking of new years, looks like Erin isn’t making any resolutions this time around. She seems to be perfectly content effing guys over left and right. The girl changes her mind about guys more often than I change the channel during an MTV commercial break. And those are long! I mean, my god, woman! She is the poster child for not missing something until it’s gone. Or for taking advantage of guys until she messes it up so much they dump her. Or for being a generally annoying person. You get the idea.

When she has something good (Duncan) she finds the need to go out and bring another (hotter) dude home. When that guy starts showing some attachment, she runs to the hills (of Toronto) and falls more in love with Duncan. But when Duncan asks her to be committed to only him she gets sad and confused and pushes the bearded man away once more only to spend her NYE single, clutching her phone, and getting pity kisses from her couple friends.

You brought this on yourself, Erin. And, frankly, I’m getting really sick of your flighty, I’m-so-stoned attitude. This is the real world; make some decisions and take responsibility for your actions!

And then there is the Allie/Adam/Jay sitch, which somehow all started over an intense game of Scrabble? I’m so confused. One minute Adam and Allie are discussing a killer 20 point word, the next minute Allie is asking for space and then somehow Jay gets booted from his apartment?

Did I miss something? How did Jay get pulled into this? Was it his Scrabble board?

All the drama fully boils over at the big New Year’s bash where Jay wears a sparkly vest (and looks smoking hot in a top hat) and Allie gets totally sh*tfaced, although I guess that’s what happens when you haven’t eaten since 2007.

Erin cries, Jay asks Whit if he can crash with her, and Adam and Allie make some lame ass toast to new beginnings. Yeah, we’ll see about that. I can’t wait to see what happens next week. Hopefully it involves Erin, her weird hair-accessories and an unfortanate mishap with a garbage truck.

Too harsh?

Ok, tonight’s episode of The City was….good. Really good. Chock full of the drama that I have come to expect from the MTV not-so-reality shows. It was so good, in fact, that it actually made me excited to watch next week. And if you’ve been following my recaps you will know that is saying a lot.

What made it so good? Well, for one, JR. He’s not so cute when he smiles, but he does seem to be the only real person on the show. And by “real” I mean “someone who leaves SoHo/Grammercy once in awhile and has a real job.” He’s totally smitten with Erin and her I-totally-just-smoked-a-ton-of-pot vibe and wines and dines her in attempts to woo her back.

Meanwhile Erin is telling anyone who will listen (even in the middle of a concert) that she is falling for him and even goes as far as telling the girl with the nose (Samantha?) that she just can’t make the whole long distance thing with her Canadian lover work.

Um, what? Isn’t long distance the only way to like it? Isn’t that the only type of relationship you’ve ever had? Make up your mind, Erin. You can’t change your mind every time it suits you! If that were the case then I’d be living in the Caribbean with a hot island boyfriend…but only until something better came along back here.Not that it matters anyway, because 5 seconds later the girl is changing her mind…again; she breaks JR’s little heart and ruins his break from work by crying and telling him she can’t see him anymore.  Poor guy can’t catch a break. Although, if he’s reading this, he can totes call me. I don’t smoke pot or “soul search” but I think I’m pretty awesome. I can even get you references!

Sorry – just trying to get me a Valentine before Saturday.

While we were not following the lust-life of Erin, the rest of the episode was devoted to Jay’s fun little band. Isn’t it great that we saw more of his performance than Whitney did? Good thing we don’t have some princessy little friend who needs to swap her one DVF jacket for the other and make us late for the show! Although that is probably more exciting than our leftover takeout after the gym, which is pretty much every Monday night around here.

After the first Jay show, Whitney thinks that Olivia felt bad for making her late and that’s why she got Jay the second gig, at the snooty party. Us smart (or more realistic) folks know, however, that Ms. Palermo is a real-life Blair Waldorf who always has a motive….Or MTV told her to get Jay the gig.

She and Nevan (who Jay keeps calling Bevan for some reason…) end up spending the night bad mouthing the band and then get all huffy when Whitney and Jay leave without saying goodbye.

Her reasoning? They didn’t dress up for the event.

Now, I’d just like to say that I see a lot of myself in Olivia and Nevan. Not so much the “I’m better than everyone” BS, but the fact that we all seem to be the type of people that are just divine to those who are on our good sides, but you wouldn’t want to be on the other side. That being said, I would like to do some horrible, awful things to Olivia Palermo.

After Olivia asks Whitney what she thought of the event, to which Whitney defended herself, Olivia holds up her anorexic hand and shoves Whit back into her place.

“We should just keep our work lives and personal lives separate.” [Evil glare.]

Seriously, if I had the money to get to NY, I would take that Louboutin stiletto of hers and shove it where it hurts… Or just rub it in Butler’s crap and wipe it across her pristine white couch. How’s that for drama, MTV? Huh?

Great episode. Great drama. Great pudding and chocolate chip cookies I noshed on during the ep. Can’t wait for next week and I can’t believe I’m saying that.

Life doesn’t come equipped with an orchestra. If your sexcapades, like your iTunes, are on shuffle, here are a few songs you probably don’t want on your playlist.

1. “Dat Baby”–Shawty Putt feat. Lil Jon

With a chorus of “Dat baby don’t look like me,” and an opening line, “Dat baby ain’t mine… I’m sorry, bitch you heard Maury,” this jam is an instant libido-killer. The last thing a guy wants to hear as he’s sliding into home base is “You are NOT the father!” Sure, you’re using protection, but condoms aren’t 100% effective…paternity tests, on the other hand, don’t lie. Besides, no woman wants to find out that her cute college hookup won’t take responsibility if an accident does happen.

2. “You’re Pretty When I’m Drunk”– Bloodhound Gang

You can kick yourself in the morning when you sober up and realize that the guy you brought home from the bar last night looks nothing like David Beckham (actually, he more closely resembles Danny DeVito), so you don’t need Jimmy Pop saying “I told you so.” Besides, lines like “I’m hungry like the wolf, but I’ll end up taming cattle,” and “it wouldn’t be the first time that I gave a dog a bone,” though satirical, are pretty harsh. As liberated, self-respecting women, we know we’re pretty when he’s sober, too, inside and out.

3. “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”– Sufjan Stevens

If you didn’t know that this song is about the infamous serial killer, you might think the gentle ballad sets the mood. However, if your ears perk up at the lines, “And in my best behavior, I am really just like him/ Look underneath the floor boards for the secrets I have hid,” you’ll probably get creeped out, and ask yourself how well you really know the guy who’s jamming his tongue down your throat.

4. “UR So Gay”– Katy Perry

Straight guys will go flacid as soon as Ms. Perry belts her titular accusation in the chorus. They won’t even listen to the following line, “you don’t even like boys.” Homophobic or not, men don’t like to have their sexualities questioned. Besides, the whole song is an angry letter to a shallow metrosexual. You would never want your lover to “hang [himself] with an H & M scarf,” now, would you?

5. “MmmBop”– Hanson

This song will actually probably cause many social situations to take a turn down Embarrassment Alley. If you’re a closet Hanson fan, that’s fine. But your guy might not appreciate your “special” quirks.

Any I missed?