"I miss Welcome Week." Sigh.

Lately it seems like Facebook is on a mission (aided by the company that sells prozac) to make me feel suicidal every time I sign on. For weeks all the status updates and albums were “lovin’ summer” and “will it ever stop raining this summer?” I could easily relate to those as I was also experiencing summer and the torrential rain showers of ‘09.

However, now I sign on and I have to see this:

Jessie can’t wait for classes to start up!
Shar regrets that first night back jungle juice!
Alissa accidentally packed her keys into the trunk but it won’t stop her from getting to school!

And all these statues and declarations of school spirit are forcing me to realize that I’m officially not going back to school…although my diploma has yet to come, so that’s actually still questionable. For the first time in my entire life (I started school mere months after birth) I’m not buying fresh new school supplies and I’m not sitting in classes trying to read the professor’s mind and decide if she is really going to give pop reading quizzes. I don’t even know what to do with my hands if they’re not flipping through syllabi. Read More »

Well, its that time of year again. Time to say goodbye to friends, your tan, and most importantly, those flip flops, as summer is coming to a close.  Not sure where it went? Either are we. But it’s time to get back into the college groove nonetheless. And well, that’s exactly what this week prepared us (and got us totally excited) for.

- Nothing starts the school year off with a bang like Welcome Week. Take full advantage of this holiday because life doesn’t get much better.

- You won’t wanna be walkin around campus without at least one of these freakin’ cool gadgets

- Yes, you’re going to be so excited to see everyone again, but the repetitive reunions will get old after about 5 minutes into the first frat party.  Spare the “Ohmygods” and “Lets get lunch!”  because lets face it, you probably either don’t even want to…or you won’t remember the next day after 10 cups of jungle juice.

- Wanna get that cute guy to notice you in English class? Do some cheap back-to-school shopping here, but that doesn’t mean to load up on these. Funky is cool, but looking like someone poured ink all over you is not. And whatever you do, keep these to yourself!

- It’s a new year, so that means a new dorm, maybe new roommates and new hall-mates. But you’ll still manage to find your favorite dorm BFFsno matter where you are living.

- Enjoy the drunken late-night pizzas, and the countless warm beers, but be careful because you don’t wanna end up on MTV because of it.

- Be careful when rushing into relationships so quickly. But if you do get a first semester boyfriend, make sure to get some of these to keep him hangin’ around.

- However you decide to live your college life, you better make it one fun-filled exciting time, because it truly is the best four years of your life. And after that, its all downhilll from there. Well, hopefully not, but seriously who wants to be a boring grown up?

You’ve finally moved out of the dorms, and it just so happens that your new diggs are the perfect place to throw a party. No RA’s, no quiet hours, no cramming 50 people into your tiny dorm and trying to have a dance party. Sweet!

Throwing a party might seem like a no-brainer. Still, you have make sure all of your bases are covered, or you’ll find people trickling out before midnight, hoping to catch another bigger, better party before the sun comes up and the night is a complete bust.

If you want to throw the party of the year–the one people are still talking about at graduation, the one people are still talking about at the reunion–just take heed of these simple cardinal rules. Read More »

We might be too old to go door-to-door and ask strangers for candy… but we’re not too old to dress up as slutty versions of our favorite childhood fairy tales characters, animals, or public service workers, are we? Besides, if we’re struggling to pay $49.99 for a “Sexy Bull Fighter” costume, dammit, we want to get the most bang for our buck!

Here are a few games and party options that you can host throughout Halloween week, just to get into the spirit of things!

Liquor Treat

This game can be the most fun, but is also the most difficult to pull off, especially if you live in a dorm with a strict RA or a No-Alcohol Policy. Similar to an “Around-the-World” party, you have to rally everyone on your floor/in your apartment building to participate. The members of each room or apartment choose a theme…and a type of liquor. When guests arrive, they go door to door and can stay to mingle in any room they like. When they ring the doorbell, they are also rewarded with a shot– hence, this is the grown-up’s version of Trick or Treat.

Scary Movie Drinking Games

Take advantage of the fact that F/X, Sci-Fi, and all of the basic cable channels will be playing Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween over and over for the whole month of October. If you are familiar with the movie, you can make up your own rules – e.g. everytime the theme song plays in Halloween, every time you hear the “whispers” in Friday the 13th – or you can find several ready-made drinking games online to play. The good news? You’ll be so buzzed by the end that you won’t be too scared to sleep with the lights off! Read More »

You’ve unpacked your bags, hung your posters on the wall (with that blue sticky goo stuff that doesn’t really work because you aren’t allowed to put holes in the wall) and locked your precious new laptop to the desk. Now what?

Now what? NOW WHAT?

Now it’s time for the best 7ish days of your life: Welcome Week! For the only time in your college career (besides senior year, maybe), you have no class, no reading and nothing but time to get to know your lovely new home.

It is time to meet people, take part in all those fun campus-sponsored activities, and get the lowdown on which party stores sell to the under 21 crowd. Oh, and buy books…but we recommend waiting until the last day to do that.

Welcome Week is a totally new experience to you, Ms. Incoming Freshman, so we decided to give you a few hints for survival. No, you don’t need a tent, helmut and 30 bottles of water, but you do need an open mind, a little bravado and a whole lot of Advil.

Our writers looked back into their hazy Welcome Week memories and gave us this advice:

Julia – UC Berkley: Don’t get too rowdy with the boys. My friend went a little, er, wild during welcome week and ended up missing all of her first fall semester due to an unfortunate case of mono.

Kelly UMass: Stay away from the Jungle Juice (or anything in a tub/large cauldron) and watch the roads. My first night out in college I saw some drunk dude get hit by a car. No lie.

K – NYU: Never hook up with the guy who asks, “Do you want liquor?” Read More »

Three nights ago, as I’m spooning in bed with my ex-boyfriend/current fling (the lines are a little blurred), he, out of the blue, drops a line that no ex-girlfriend ever wants to hear spoken about herself: he called me crazy.

I was speechless. Everything had being going rather well all night: I looked super-hot, we were flirting like mad and we had just engaged in a no-fuss, delicious two-hour romp on his blow-up mattress, resulting in the big “O” for both parties.

And then he had to go and ruin our post-coital snuggle session with the dreaded “C” word.

Now, let me set the record straight. This is definitely not the first time a male in my life has called me crazy. Everyone from my dad and brother to my high school gym teacher has felt the need to express their opinion about my level of sanity.

I can’t deny that maybe, they were right to drop the C-bomb. Let’s just say that high school was rough for me. I was involved in a serious relationship, which led me to act like a serious fool. I yelled really loud, pushed really hard and generally caused extreme amounts of unnecessary stress for everyone involved in my life. But hey, I was sixteen, riding high off the fumes of sweet adolescent hormones, and I didn’t think – I just DID.

Of course, douchebag ex-boyfriend heard all the juicy details of my teenage drama during our first year of dating. I mean, if I had to endure all the pain and horror – it was only fair that I pass it onto him, right? (Note: I realize now this was a huge mistake and that some skeletons really are better kept in the closet – forever.) So, after I got upset about a girl attempting to kiss him in front of me after a little too much jungle juice, he decided it was time to break out the one insult he knew would cut straight to the heart. Read More »