So, Super Bowl 43 will be played at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida, and will feature a battle between the Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Yawn.

It sounds like this year, people will be tuning in moreso for the hysterical commercials and the halftime entertainment, rather than the actual football. So far, it has been announced that Jennifer Hudson will sing the National Anthem (meh), Faith Hill will perform a pregame show (over it), and Bruce Springsteen has snagged the highly coveted spot as the halftime performer. I’ve got nothing against the Boss, but if you’re going to get people to tune in to watch the Cardinals, you’re going to have to offer them some excitement at some point during the game.

Where’s Janet? Bring in some gratuitous nipple shots if you really want to please the public.

That said, I would like to petition the National Football League to consider taking me on as their halftime party planner. Here are some sample line-ups that I would suggest to really keep the party that is 2009 going strong. Read More »

The other night my mom called me to ask about some singer (“GooGoo? FaFa?”) that was performing on TV with “panty hose on OVER her thong! I could see her butt!” I kindly explained to my mother that her name is Lady Gaga (“Mother, it’s Gaga. GAGA!!”) and that maybe that was just a costume for that particular performance.

But then I went online to avoid listening to my boring Physics lecture to check out some of Lady Gaga’s jams and realized that this girl really hates wearing pants. I mean, she never wears them. Not just for performances – never. Not on the streets, not at parties… ne-ver. It’s like that bad Britney phase.

I mean, the girl has killer legs, but this is a little O.O.C. (Out of control, people; keep up!) She’s getting dangerously close to camel-toe land. I swear, “Just Dance” should be called “Just (Take Off Your Pants and) Dance,” or “Just Dance With Your Goodies Hanging Out.” Although those wouldn’t have quite the same ring.

Don’t believe me? See for yourself: Read More »