Can guys and girls be “just friends”? Ah, the age old question that has plagued us for years. Some say, “Of course!” Some say, “Absolutely not.” I like to take the cop-out answer and say, “It depends.” Though it’s possible to be friendly with a male friend, there seems to always be some sort of flirtation and attraction that is hard to ignore with at least one of our guy pals.

We all have that one guy that has always been more than just a friend, whether we like to admit it or not. We’re in denial. We can’t admit our feelings because if we do — things get complicated. Hanging out and getting a cup of coffee suddenly turns into a panic stricken “IS THIS A DATE?” crisis, and we no longer feel comfortable around a guy we’ve known for years as our friend. So if you’re in Friend Zone denial, I’m here to help you. Here’s six clear signs that you may have romantic feelings for the alleged platonic man in your life. Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I love the advice you give and right now I’m in need of some if you don’t mind.

My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me about 3 weeks ago after sitting me down and saying that he wasn’t ready to commit and that he felt as if he wanted to be alone. I didn’t agree with the breakup but I told him that I supported his decision. We decided to remain friends despite everything and I’m totally fine with that.

This past weekend, we took a trip with some mutual friends to Miami. It was supposed to be a little romantic getaway for couples when it was planned, but it wasn’t since we broke up beforehand.

Once we were in Miami, he operated as a single guy and damn near ignored me while we were there. Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’ve got a bit of a dilemma on my hands.  I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve come close, but no guy ever wanted to be more than a fling or something other than a friend. I have, not unlike a recent post to you, been perpetually pushed into the friend zone. Something of a specialty of mine.  I suppose in compliment to me, most guys I’ve hooked up with (I mean PG level hookup only..I’m not the type to go all the way without a relationship) in the past have always wanted to maintain an active friendship with me and are usually making the bigger effort. All the while making it clear they want nothing else.

This has been fine and it’s nice to have guys as close friends I can rely on, and feel wanted by in a respected way.  What becomes a problem is my position as not only a friend, but I tend to become a pseudo-girlfriend without any of the actual benefits or titles thereof.  Time and time again I will befriend a guy, we’ll be close and I somehow become the one he calls every Friday or Saturday night to chat. At one point, one of my best guy friends and I were around each other so much most people assumed we were dating.  Normally I’m happy to have close friendships like this; after all it gives me company too and I appreciate the friendship that’s there.

But every time without fail, no matter how long we’ve been friends, as soon as another girl enters the picture as a potential love interest or relationship everything drops off the map. A guy friend I talked to every week or for ages, all of a sudden I don’t hear from for months. No explanation, no real responses to my messages/texts, nothing. At least two of these cases it’s only me that the guy seems to be ignoring more, not his guy friends. Read More »

Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!

Dear Dude,

The other day, I randomly met a guy at a bus stop who just got back from Europe. We clicked immediately, and hung out for about 2 hours (instead of studying for genetics…). He has my number and email, but is it a bad idea just to ask him to hang out? I have no interest in a romantic aspect, and my female friends say I’m nuts. This is legit, right? I can just ask a guy to hang out just to solely hang out…
Or am I just being an idiot?

Thanks!
Just Wanna Be Friends Read More »

Men are tricky creatures. As much as we may wish we could read their minds, it just isn’t possible (yet… come on, science!). But don’t worry, I have discovered a trick to help us understand them a little more.

We all know guys that have picked up Cosmo from time-to-time (or have a monthly subscription) to help them figure out what their women are thinking. Hell, I bet a bunch of guys are reading CollegeCandy right now to try and figure something out about their girlfriends. Well ladies, we can do the same thing! Taking a peek at the kind of dating and relationship advice guys are being fed is a great way to get into the mind of a dude and see why he acts the way he does. Every Wednesday I’ll be doing just that. Hopefully, this will explain a few things…

This Week’s Article: Her Best Friend Is A Guy by askmen.com.

As someone who has a lot of close platonic male friends in her life, this article particularly irked me. And by “irked,” I mean “pissed me the hell off.”

The boys (they are not men) over at AskMen refuses to believe that a male and female can truly ever be good friends. As they say, “we’re operating under the assumption that heterosexual men and women cannot be best friends; sex always gets in the way.” I know many people may believe this, but I am living testament to the fact that it is not true. I would never dream of sleeping with my best guy friends, who I absolutely adore, and I know they feel the same way about me. In fact, the mere thought of it all makes me puke in my mouth a little.

Moving on… Read More »

Q: So I’ve known this guy for years and years and we’ve been friends for forever and we have “talked” before but nothing has ever really worked out. Well then months ago we start heating up again…finally hook up for the first time and things are going great. Then he moves to another city. Well now I see him every single weekend and we are great but he says he doesn’t want a relationship. I say fine no big deal I don’t want one either, but then he says he doesn’t want to mess around or kiss or anything because it makes him too attached and he doesn’t want to be a jerk and like someone more, mess around with them, etc if he doesn’t want to date them right now.

Well you would think that would be my answer right there but the plot thickens (lol). The past few weekends things have been getting more and more serious – I’ve met all of his friends in his new city, we have been hooking up, sleeping in the same bed, and pretty much acting like a couple without the title (which I’m actually fine with because if he’s not ready for the title I trust him and am not going to push him into it!). But he then proceeds to tell me one day when we’re having a “moment” that this was exactly what he didn’t want and now I feel bad for putting pressure on him.

So my question is….how do I proceed if he obviously really cares about me and I really care about him? Do I quit visiting? It’s definitely not going to work with me liking him and us being just friends and nothing else at this point, but then where does that leave the friendship?

Read More »

So I went on a date. Goooo me! My grandma would be so proud. “Just get out there” she says. And get out there I did.

Everything went well, we talked prior to meeting up and we emailed on a pretty frequent basis. And much to my surprise there was nothing awkward about it. In fact, it was all oddly comfortable.

None of that boring history of “this is every insignificant detail of my childhood that you don’t really care about, but I’m just going to tell you because we have nothing better to discuss and I hope it gets more exciting from here”. But rather, I felt as if I was schmoozing with an old friend. This could be something really good, I thought.

And suddenly, this first date with a stranger thing was looking a whole lot more promising.

Even the date itself went smoothly and based from my friend’s horror stories and some of my far from fun past experiences, I was more than thrilled not to have to execute my pre-arranged escape plan. We talked for two hours and nothing about it was awkward (thank you, lord–I owe you one)

In fact, it was the opposite. I clearly was so at ease that I proceeded to talk about my Teddy Bear, Snuggles, who I still sleep and travel with. (Normal, I am not).

So naturally, one would think “Success! When are we going out next?” (And my grandma, bless her little foreign heart, would start shopping for a dress). Read More »

After-hook-up relations are not always easy.

Seeing someone you made out or slept with a few days after the fact can be weird, uncomfortable, and even painful. It can also be awkward with a capital A.

If the experience was extremely unmemorable (or horrible…because that sometimes usually happens), we may even resort to running and hiding behind trees whenever we spy a recent bedfellow (not that I ever did that. I preferred to hide behind bushes. More coverage.).

On small college campuses, avoiding people can become difficult, and many of us probably wish at the very least that we could relate to our hook-ups the way we did before everything went down.

Well, we can!

A few years ago, after hooking-up with and subsequently getting seriously pissed off at a guy when I realized he had a girlfriend, I thought our friendship was over. But I still had to see him every day. So what was I going to do? Read More »

It always worked on TV. When Donna Martin and David Silver broke up on 90210, they stayed friends. When Ross and Rachel broke up on Friends, they were eventually fine hanging out with the group.

So is it any wonder that I always held out hope that the same things were possible for me?

Despite the fact that everyone told me differently, I always thought that my ex and I could defy all odds and stay friends long after our year long relationship came to an end. After all, it didn’t end badly. It just ended. Read More »