Yesterday I tripped up some stairs. Yes up. That’s okay, though, because it was still the best day ever. As I hobbled back home and onto my couch, the sweet sound of gossip news on E! informed me that my childhood love, Justin Timberlake was finally, and truly single. Score!

After jumping around shrieking for a few minutes, the whole sitch got me thinking: why are so many Hollywood hotties tied down? Seriously, what’s up with that? OK, I fully realize that I won’t ever meet anyone of these gorgeous gentlemen out at the grocery store and make them fall madly in love with me, but it makes it easier to have naked dreams about drool over them if I think I might possibly have a chance. I mean, it’s hard to get hot and bothered about J. Timberlake when you know he’s doin’ the horizontal mambo with someone far hotter than you else.

But not anymore!

So in the spirit of a happy Friday, here are our favorite not-single-celebrity crushes who need to take a hint from JTim and Ryan Reynolds and sever those relationship ties!

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For those of you not in the know, Demi, the only Disney star who can really belt it out, just got out of rehab. And you’ve got to hand it to the girl – she has played the classy card the whole time and hasn’t really capitalized on her inner turmoil (cough Lindsey Lohan cough cough). Today, Demi even sent a heartwarming video to her fans letting them know she’s ready to get back to work and that she wants to help other people and blah, blah, blah.

That’s all well and good, but what about Disney? You know, that company that sent her (and many starlets) on her downward spiral? What are they saying?

Nothing. Obvi.

But maybe it’s time. And I’m not talking about some boring press release or a statement from the top. Disney should do what they do best and turn their curse into TV gold. I can see it in my DVR scheduled recordings now:

Rehab: Not Another Song and Dance

The main character, a psychic girl who moonlights as an AA counselor, played by Demi Lovato, takes the show on twists and turns that will keep the audience guessing her next move. Will she smoke Salvia with her best friend? Is she going to fall off the wagon after 9 months? Can she help other Disney stars resist the urges and temptations that come with having to act like a 14-year-old and sing cheesy songs on TV? Read More »

Okay, so I don’t know if you ladies have heard the news, but apparently Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson are actually dating, which really just makes my skin crawl. I mean the girl is legitimately half his age. It’s weird and it’s creepy. And since I am forever grateful that Scarlett let go of Ryan Reynolds so we could some day find each other and be together, I felt it my duty to at least point that out.

But in the process, their creepy crawly relationship got me thinking about all of the other creepy celebrity couples I’ve encountered over the years. And, well, there were actually quite a few of them. Ugh, my stomach is churning. Read More »

How many times a week a day do you Google yourself? An embarrassing amount, right? Almost as embarrassing as the amount of time I spend diagnosing myself with fatal diseases on WebMD. But when we’re not googling our own name and Facebook stalking our frenemies, we’re googling (and ogling) guys. Like, a lot. So we wanted to do a totally scientific study (please note that we did this research while also doing research on the effects of Four Loko on a professional work day) on the most googled guys on the internet. And we were SHOCKED by the results. Like apparently no one else is as into Barry Manilow as I am. But a lot of people are really into Ne-Yo. Who knew?! Now you do!

The Oscar nominations are in.
And the claws are out.

Once the Academy Award nominations are public knowledge you expect there to be gossip, some hurt feelings, some angry fans, and some shocked directors. People have expectations, ideas about who should win and why. But there are so many worthwhile films and so few spots; it’s inevitable that some will get left in the dust. So you can expect a little hostility. Some discussion in the days ahead. But I have a feeling these nominations will leave fans talking for a while. The Academy left us all a little shocked and surprised as they dissed some fan favorites in favor of… True Grit?

But wait. It gets worse.

No best director nomination for Nolan, despite Inception‘s many other nods. No best actor nod for Gosling for Blue Valentine, even though co-star Williams was short listed for best actress. Timberlake and Garfield didn’t make it onto that list either, despite the success of The Social Network. And that’s just the first few.

Curious about who got the nod and who got the shaft? PopEater breaks it down for you.

December is the month of holiday parties and family get-togethers. The people are cheerful, the cities are festive, and everyone is in a fabulous mood. But sometimes, sometimes, you just want to get away from all of that holiday cheer and see someone blow something up. And that’s why holiday movie releases exist. The perfect escape from reality, and the perfect excuse to sit in a dark room for hours and not talk to anyone. There’s something for everyone, and something to see with everyone.  Not sure what to see when? Check out our guide below.

See it With Your Younger Sibling/Cousin

1. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treaders. Starring Ben Barnes, Georgie Henley and Skandar Keynes.  The third adaptation of C.S. Lewis’s series takes Lucy, Edmund, and all the rest on a voyage where they encounter dragons, dwarfs, and warriors. Out December 10. Watch the trailer here.

2. Yogi Bear. Starring the voices of Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake. Everyone’s favorite picnic basket stealing bear and his sidekick Boo-Boo team up with Park Ranger Smith to save Jellystone Park from closing. Out December 17. Watch the trailer here.

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Anne Hathaway flashback

7 ways to take care of dry winter skin

Finn is such a dreamboat. Swoon.

10 most common dreams

Confession: I’m the energizer bunny of sex

How to get toxic men out of your life

So this 8 year old is a better dancer than you

Sooo Justin Timberlake is Oscar worthy

Do you believe Mischa Barton’s story?

Does anyone remember going to the grocery store with Mama in your younger years and rushing for the Capri Sun, and (most importantly) the Teen Bop magazine that provided you with all of the yummy screen shots of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic and Romeo and Juliet?

I do.

In fact, I remember making my babysitter look through the entire magazine with me every time she came over so I could talk about how I was going to meet Leo one day, and we were going to get married.  My babysitter did not have to worry about playing Barbie-and-Ken-take-Miami with me.  All they had to worry about was my heart self-combusting with love and excitement in the presence of a shiny photo of Leo.  I hope my mother payed her overtime.

Therefore, in ode to Leonardo’s birthday week,  we are going to talk about our biggest celeb crushes of our teenage years.  After all, these are the first guys that made us want to learn to french kiss. Read More »

So I’m kinda obessessed with my ex

Turn heads with these heels

How to study sex without being a sucker

Um this is hard. Which Justin Timberlake is hotter?

How is this humanely possible?

Ryan Seacrest and J.Lo trying to out diva each other

Facebook photos about to get fancy

Judah Friedlander teaches karate to strippers. sure.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired of talking about Lindsay, Britney, Speidi, Mel, and the rest of those knuckleheads. This week involved a lot of court dates and things with those crazies, but I wanted to focus on the rest of Hollywood instead. Because, contrary to popular belief, there are other things going on, both exciting and sad. So come on in; the water’s fine in Tinsel Town.

Hot tubbin’

1. Comedian Greg Giraldo passed away after a prescription drug overdose put him in a coma. Greg was in a coma for five days until he was taken off life support. Reports say it was not a suicide. A memorial is planned for Friday in New York at the Governor’s Comedy Club. Our thoughts are with his friends and family during this difficult time.

2. Titanic actress, Gloria Stuart, passed away this week at the age of 100. So sad, this lady was awesome. She was the oldest woman ever to be nominated for an Academy Award for her role of Rose in Titanic. Our thoughts are also with her friends and family.

3. Dr. Ryan, who sadly passed away in an accident on Pacific Coast Highway, is having a plastic surgery scandal. His rival surgeon, Dr. Gary Motykie, is trying to get Dr. Ryan’s former patients! Apparently, some of Dr. Ryan’s staff went over to Dr. Motykie’s office and patients have received emails offering Dr. Motykie’s services. Awkward much? Imagine having some doctor email you saying he’ll do your boob job. Well, people are pissed! Although sharing information is allowed for medical purposes, it’s still kind of weird. Read More »