Thank the Lord for “Celebrity Rap Superstar.”

My first viewing was last week; I had seen the commercials and made a solemn oath to avoid this one at all costs. But like Whitney to crack, there I was in front of my television, enjoying the rush of shame and delight that came from my first few moments of CRS.

None of the contestants on the show are legitimately famous. Reality television has produced a mass of “celebrities” that are longing to extend their already used 15 minutes of fame.

There is Jason Wahler of The Hills, who forgot every single lyric during is first performance, making Ashlee Simpson look legitimate. You will laugh, and cringe, and perhaps shed a tear for poor Jason, who takes himself WAY too seriously.

Then of course, there’s the Queen of All Media, Ms. Perez Hilton himself. The nice thing about Perez is that he is actually in on the joke, and makes fun of himself the whole time. He knows he’s a blogger who got lucky, and proceeds to laugh his way to the bank. Perez already has street cred, he doesn’t need to earn it. Read More »

If you had told me two years ago that K-Fed would turn out to be the responsible one in the relationship he had with Britney, I would have asked you how many times you listened to Popozao, how loud your speakers were when you did so, and if your brain had been mutilated in the process.

But I would have wrongly insulted you, because Kevin is certainly turning out to be the best thing his kids can hope for.

A few days ago, K-Dawg began serving papers to a few close acquaintances of Britney, cousin Alli Sims being one of them. The horrible rapper’s lawyers claim many more “acquaintances” of Spears will be served, body guards and nannies most likely included.

After hearing the bad news, Britney went out and did what any certifiably insane person would do; cruised a drugstore for cheap candles and a $12.95 Hallmark gift book entitled “50 Truths Worth Knowing”. Read More »

Oops, she did it again.

Honestly, I’m one of the few that think Britney’s crazy antics lately have been absolutely glorious. Obviously, she just got tired of all the paps and ruthless tabloids and decided to flip them the big fat bird. Good for you Brit, lose your mind all you want!

Personally, I always loved Spears the singer, always hated Brit the person. Especially in Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 where she stated, “I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that.”

Intelligent, Brit.

Anyways, as if filling her kids’ baby bottles with soda and then trying to get a dentist to whiten their little teeth wasn’t enough, she has now reportedly threatened to kill a photographer. Wacky bald Brit? I approve.

Commando without a care Brit? Sure, why not.

Psycho killer Brit? (She’ll cut you.) Not so much.

The same pap, Andrew Deetz, that swiftly got his arse beat by her bodyguard last week in Vegas after trying to photograph Brit is now coming forward, claiming that Britney threatened to kill him.

Deetz is asking (begging?) for a restraining order against Spears, accusing that she witlessly claimed that she, or ‘someone she hired’, would kill him. No doubt she’s sure she’s ‘stroooonger than yeeesterday’! Read More »

Say I have bad taste in music; say I am so not a hipster. But I miss the good old days of cheesy, catchy, can’t get it out of your head, ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ pop music.

Sure the bubble gum pop craze got slammed by the critics as unoriginal/awful/insert any bad name you can think of here. But face it. What music do you pre-game to? What music do you run to at the gym?

Not Jack Johnson. Don’t even kid yourself.

We all know that screaming, dancing sing alongs to ‘Everybody (Backstreet’s Back Alright)’, ‘It’s Tearin Up My Heart’ and all the other boy band music hullabaloo is what makes taking that 5th shot so much more fun.

You may have dissed it at the time but admit it, you miss … Read More »

Aw, man…Celebrities. I love ‘em. Just can’t read enough TMZ, US Weekly, Hello. I’m disgusted by the antics of Paris Hilton and her evil cohorts, but man do they make good reading material! It must be such a great life when the rest of the world revels in your stupid behavior. All that ever happens to me when I do something (normally alcohol induced) stupid is that my friends make sure to bring it up every time we are in the presence of other people.

I just recently came across this great list—The Drunk Tank; 10 Wasted Celebrities—and man, are these clips fuuuuunnnny. While I’ve seen many of them before (who didn’t see Paula Abdul off her rocker on live morning television), to have them all in one place is such a good laugh.

Personal favorites? Puff Daddy, or P Diddy, or—what is he called now?—talking about ProActiv. He’s not nearly as hard core when he’s had a few wine coolers. Brit Brit having a drunken convo with K-Fed. She should really just never, never talk unless she’s singing. Never. And my number one? Ben Affleck wasted during an interview trying to get the host into bed. I don’t know what’s better about this one—him being all over her, or the fact that she wants so badly to do him when the camera shuts off.

So, on this lovely spring day, please enjoy the public displays of drunkenness. And on your next night out, remember no one is safe with camera phones and YouTube in the mix!