It’s that time of year where we all take stock of our lives, realize we’re hot messes and resolve to change our behavior…for about two weeks. Because while eating healthier, working out more and generally being a more mature person are worthy aspirations that we should all work towards, we would be remiss if we failed to acknowledge that our sex lives could always use a little work. Whether you’re having sex daily, every six months or not at all, with a long-term partner, a FWB, or a one night stand, there is always room to grow and have better experiences.  I mean, if the apocalypse or whatever really is next December, I need to go out knowing that I had the sexiest year to date, so next year, I want to do the following…

1. Stop feeling guilty about my preferences.
Sometimes I’m not in the mood. Sometimes I don’t want to be on top. Sometimes I just want to lay there and enjoy it. Sometimes I want Rihanna playing in the background. It’s totally okay for me to be selfish sometimes, because while, yes, pleasing my partner is important, so is taking my own pleasure into account. This is definitely a balancing act I don’t have down yet. Read More »

Cue two naked couples, both in sexual scenarios.

Couple 1 attacks each other like wild animals, both racing to the big O.

Couple 2 takes their time, pleasing each other in various kama sutra-like positions, aiming to prolong the act of sex by channeling sexual energy and increasing intimacy, letting go of all reservations and connecting to their sexual experience spiritually before engaging in the physical.

So, which couple are you? If you’re an ordinary lover like myself, then you can probably identify with couple 1. If couple 2′s experience sounds more appealing, then the increasingly popular “tantric sex” might be of some interest to you.

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[After four years of writing in our undies, we've accumulated a lot of great content on CollegeCandy. I realized this when I was reading the site the other night....also in my undies. So many awesome posts get forgotten, so we decided it was time to bring 'em back. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and enjoy.]

What’s a political campaign without sex? A McCain campaign ad once accused Obama of trying to pass a bill incorporating sex ed into kindergarten classrooms. Of course, Obama doesn’t even need to utter the “s” word when McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, has the poster family for the need for sex education.

Maybe Palin’s daughter should’ve been given a sex ed lecture in kindergarten. Maybe, in the wake of the Gloucester school girls and celebrity teen momdom, we should consider revamping our sex ed policies, rather than letting Ellen Paige serve as an instructor when Juno comes out on DVD. I took sex ed. And now, I have sex. Sometimes quite freely.

There’s still a lot that I don’t know, and some stuff I know now that I wish I’d learned in sixth grade sex ed class:

-Sex is NOT synonymous with love. It can be, but it isn’t always. Sex is synonymous with physical attraction, hormones, and judgment (note that I didn’t specify “good” or “bad” judgment).

-Sex changes everything. It can burn bridges, create awkward situations, and ruin friendships. However, it can also take a relationship to the next level, or allow you to see your partner in a completely different light. It can be good, it can be bad, but either way, once you’ve crossed that line… there’s no going back. Read More »

It’s officially the future, people, and while there may not be flying cars just yet, the advancements in technology are plentiful. Especially when it comes to gettin’ some. Yes, sex has gone tech, and I’m talking about more than those nakey photos you’ve been sending to the boyfriend while he’s away. (Which is a bad, bad idea. Has Vanessa Hudgens taught you nothing?!)

Below, a list of the sexiest things in tech:

For Your iPhone

Got an iPhone? No? Well, maybe it’s time to spend the cashola, because when it comes to sex, well, there’s an app for that. Here are a few of my favorites.

Cosmo’s Sex Position of the Day
This app is a to-go version of the Cosmo Kama Sutra. It offers a new sex position every day, as well as instructions and advice, illustration, and a difficulty rating (for those girls who are always up for a challenge). Read More »

No one's getting booty in this room. Trust.

It’s the Scout Motto: Always be prepared. But I don’t think my Girl Scout troop leader was referring to booty calls when she ingrained that piece of advice into my head.

On a college campus you never know who you’re going to meet… and then want to take back to your room… to get to know each other better. The last thing you want is to bring a suitor home one night and have them leave the next morning without their wallet because it’s lost in a sea of your dirty laundry (true story). Or worse, bring them home and have them remember they have “somewhere to be” (at 3 a.m.) after spotting your My Little Pony collection on your nightstand.

Being prepared for spontaneity may be an oxymoron, but it has safely guarded my dignity and late night encounters thus far. Here are a few life tips I have adapted in my quest to divide and conquer, without letting those boys see my Spanx. Read More »

My mother (yes, my mother) once told me that if there aren’t fireworks between the sheets, it’s just not meant to be.  I immediately dismissed this advice, partly because it meant my menopausal mother was having better sex with my overweight father than I was with my supposedly sexually prime bedmate. But mostly, I rejected this theory because I didn’t, and still don’t, think its entirely true.

Sex – the good, the bad, and the ugly – where does it all fit in?

We make such a big deal about sex. It consumes us.  We lie about sex – we say we’re having less when we’re having more, and more when we’re having less. We worry about our relationship if the sex isn’t “above average.” We worry about our health, our sanity, our bodies and our worth if he simply rolls over. We use sex as a barometer for the status of our relationships when there couldn’t possibly be a less reliable, standardized or empirical indicator.

I, for one, do not believe that the caliber or frequency of the sex we’re having – or not having – is necessarily an accurate representation of what lies beneath. Now this is not to say that sex is not an important component of a relationship, because it is.  I fancy a good ole shag just as much as the next gal. What I am saying, though, is that thanks to soft core porn, (aka cable television), Megan Fox, and Cosmopolitan articles with titles like “Give Him the Best Sex of His Life” and “101 Sex Positions to Try Before You Die,” we have been made to believe that not only should we be having sex every night, but great sex every night, and this just isn’t realistic.

These fallacies also spawn a kind of sexual competition among men, women, and couples alike. “Do you guys have a swing? Where have you done it today? Have you tried the Reverse Amazon? What about the Jellyfish? The Bent Spoon?” It’s like losing your virginity automatically (and unwittingly) qualifies you for the sex Olympics and suddenly everybody’s keeping score, or being judged, or being stripped of their medals for performance enhancers. The whole world was turned upside down when Sting revealed that he has epic bouts of tantric sex with his wife on a regular basis, and women everywhere were making statements about “how lucky his wife is.” Now, I’m sorry, but I have no time to be having seven hour sex sessions; I have to eat an Italian sub, pass a bowel, and watch reality TV all before 1 p.m., so this just isn’t going to work. And quite frankly, I have no desire to play hide the canoli for four hundred and twenty minutes. Should I feel bad about that? Read More »

It’s been about 5 months since I got any booty so, naturally, I’ve got sex on the brain today. Like every day.

Instead of turning to sweets (bad for the weight) or vibrators (bad when you’re in an office), I did a little online research. On sex. Here are some tres interesting tidbits about the most talked about subject in the universe (thanks to breathetheoxygen):

1. According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches.

2. The most common fantasy is oral sex.

3. 8% of us have regular anal sex.

4. 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.

5. Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.

6. In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.

7. Men say the average erect penis is 10″. Women say it’s 4″.

8. A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

9. 56% of men have had sex at work.

10. Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love an average of three times a night, every night, until their thirties, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14.

11. 1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair. Read More »

Americans are well known for their affection for, and addiction to, theme parks.  We have Disney Land, Disney World, Lego Land, Sea World, and a plethora of other immensely entertaining places.  What we don’t have is a theme park about sex.  Guess who else doesn’t have one?  China.

While that may sound like a no-brainer, China was recently set to open a theme park called Love Land.  It was meant to promote open sexual discussion in a society where tradition and conservatism still reign with an iron fist.  The park was to feature huge reproductions of male and female genitalia, how-to workshops and other fun activities and displays.  However, all of that was razed today after a weekend inspection by government officials deemed the park vulgar and sensational.  Well, duh, but how awesome is that? Read More »

Don’t ask how (no, I wasn’t Googling “chair sex,” or “furniture to do it on”), but I came across this site recently and was instantly intrigued.

The Tantra Chair is used to practice the amazingness of Kama Sutra. It’s shaped like a funky wave to help position yourself properly for ultimate pleasure. Don’t know anything about Kama Sutra? Well, you’re missing out. Lucky for you, the site also has a guide to tons of fun positions to enjoy on this lovely piece of furniture. (Warning: there is some nudity…and it’s kind of graphic.)

If I had the place and the money, and – oh yeah, the boyfriend – I would definitely invest in this contraption. Kama Sutra is already saucy enough, but throwing in a new toy (or chair) to aid the process just takes it to a whole new level! And it looks like a couch so you can definitely pass it off to your parents as some piece of artsy fartsy furniture you found on Craigslist.

Doing the nasty on a flat surfaced bed is so last year. This gift from the sex gods will have you in positions you never thought possible on a futon.

Wanna ask the Tuffster a question, any question? Email her at tuffylove@collegecandy.com to be featured in her bi-weekly column, every other Tuesday!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a college sophomore and, until recently, I was planning to save myself for marriage. But I just recently I started dating the guy of my dreams and I think I’m ready to have sex with him. My question is what are some books where can I read about how to have sex? Not like kinky weird sex, just doing it for the first time. Help!

Thanks!!!!!!!

Lindsay

Dear Lindsay,

Girl, before I get around to actually dis-pen-sing this advice to you, first I wanna say two things:

(1) Make sure you really want to lose it to this guy before you do it. Tuffy ain’t no abstinence advisor–I believe that having sex is a VERY healthy and important part of having an adult relationship–but if this was an important thing to you, make sure you’re not just caving into pressure. That said, if you do decide to go through with it, good for you! Sex is fanf*ckingtastic! BUT

(2) Be safe! Always use a condom. You got that, honey? Every. Single. Time. And you might want to look into the pill, too (in ADDITION to the condom), but that’s between you and your ob/gyn.

Now onto the actual advice: Read More »