Those are the cutest pigs I’ve ever seen.

That’s Katy Perry? Homegirl looks chic.

Is Katie Holmes really a “woman of Hollywood”?

Brad and Jen have another secret rendezvous.

Don’t mess with Lebron James!

Get Kim Kardashian’s beauty secrets.

Clearly, Britney is still messed up in the head.

The truth about high school.

What’s gonna happen to Jon and Kate Plus 8?

We love party dresses!

Stay out of debt, people.

Wait. There’s a Scientology clothing line!?

So, can Katie Holmes dance?

Amy Winehouse may be a druggie, but she’s no predator.

Make your ass smell like roses!

Did Michael Jackson have a crush on Beyonce?

How to deal with those crappy party guests.

Paris isn’t stupid or slutty, OK?!

Taking a trip? Take it on Southwest!

So that’s why John Mayer didn’t sing at the MJ memorial.

The theme of all reality shows.

Don’t talk to Katie Holmes about religion!

This is definitely how I’d want to die.

Woman marries a total dog. Literally.

JT and Jessica Biel may be over.

The Anna Sui line for Target has been revealed!

Katie Holmes dresses hobo down.

Delicious and nutritious food you can afford!

The things we do for beauty….

The sweetest dorm designer ever.

And we hate the thought of Speidi children.

Wanna win some sexy toys?

Just dance, Katie Holmes!

Irritating moves dudes make on Facebook.

Scary celebrity dolls.

The Britney comeback continues.

Katie Holmes will dance (if Tom lets her out of the house…)

Bikini waxes cause more than a little pain.

Amy Winehouse’s parents are (obviously) worried.

This gives new meaning to party in the back…

Uh, Weird Al is back? And he’s still funny!

The Hills causes eating disorders.

I am a chronic list-maker, whether I have to make a difficult decision or not.  Lists help me organize my thoughts and remember important facts and details that I need for later.  However, there are some things that I would rather forget and that’s what this week’s showdown concerns.

Celebrity couples are hideous beasts born of the 24-hour news and gossip cycles and there are none more powerful than Brangelina and TomKat.  But which one is worse?  Which one makes you want to throw your TV out the window, turn off your computer, and hide your iPhone just so you never have to hear what ridiculous name they’re giving to their 17th adopted baby?  Such a difficult decision, but we can work through it.

Tabloids
Brangelina are regular fixtures in the tabloids, claiming spots from week to week concerning issues like who’s cheating on who, where they’re adopting their next baby from, and how much Angelina Jolie isn’t eating.

TomKat has had their fair share of face time on the cover of the tabloids, but it’s only due to Tom Cruise’s occasional crazy antics (couch hopping and weird religions, much?) and the public’s strange fascination with Suri Cruise.

Point: Brangelina.  If I never see them on the cover of anything again, then I’ll…well, that’ll never happen, so I don’t have to worry about what I’ll do.

Kids
Brangelina loves making babies.  They also love buying babies from foreign countries.  They just love babies.  We get it, you’re good looking, you’re successful, and you can have a healthy (well…) family life.  Yeah, well…bite it.

TomKat has Suri and it’s ridiculous how much gossip there is about that child.  Ballet lessons, expensive designer outfits, new haircuts, etc.  Her parents already passed on a healthy dose of crazy, so all this media attention is probably helping create some sort of future monster person.  Can’t wait.

Point: TomKat.  Even with one baby, they’re more annoying than Brangelina.

The Ex-Factor
Brangelina has a veritable black book full of celebrity exes that they’ve pissed off or left in a pit of depression.  Also, a very large number of Angelina Jolie’s ex-boyfriends (or husbands) are certifiably crazy.  I mean, just look at Billy Bob Thornton.

TomKat has quite a star-studded list of ex-lovers themselves (mostly from the Tom part of that equation).  Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Cher (yeah, they dated for a hot second), Mimi Rogers…and none of them are that crazy.  In fact, they make Tom Cruise seem less crazy since they deigned to date him at one point.

Point: Brangelina.  There’s too much crazy there to ignore.

Fans
Brangelina has a GINORMOUS fanbase.  There are the fans that love Angelina Jolie (mostly men…and teenage boys), the fans that love Brad Pitt (mostly women…and gay men), and the ones that love them together.  The movies they make are powerhouses and we’re all (apparently) addicted to their every move.

TomKat seem to be riding on their fans from days-gone-by…neither of them have made any movies of note lately (Anyone see Valkyrie? Anyone?) and they haven’t been helping their case by acting all crazy and whatnot.  Considering the success of all of Tom’s exes, Katie should bail and win an Oscar or something.

Point: TomKat.  I mean, at least Brangelina actually still have fans, instead of just thinking they do.

Celebretard Prize Goes To: TomKat.  Gotta give it up to TomKat, even though I’m incredibly annoyed by the crap I have to read every day about Brangelina. The tie-breaker was Tom Cruise’s whole Scientology thing.  I mean, seriously…he is clinically insane.

Japan is my kinda place!

Girl suspended for responsible behavior.

Victoria Beckham does Sponge Bob Square Pants.

OMG Katie Holmes is scaring me.

Top 5 celebrity wardrobe malfunctions.

The beauty of tea.

Need a major? Try green energy.

[Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like, we hate snow in April, but we love the extra layers covering our winter pudge. Or we love late night pizza delivery, but hate when we fall asleep before it arrives... Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!]

Comfortable but ugly fashion trends are easy to feel torn about. We’ve already covered Uggs and gigantic handbags, both of which can be hit or miss. This season, however, one of the hottest (or ugliest?) trends in denim from all designers happen to be the boyfriend jean.

Love it: Obviously, boyfriend jeans are comfortable and relaxed. They may not be the most sexy pair of jeans in your closet, but they’re great for going to class or lounging in the dorms. Boyfriend jeans give off an effortlessly cool vibe no matter what you’re doing. Plus, they give you ample breathing and eating room–their baggy fit promises to never ever create a muffin top.

For the most part, boyfriend jeans look pretty cute when paired with flats and flat sandals, AND, when worn with the right top, they can look almost chic with heels. Hard to believe, I know. Finally, since boyfriend jeans are the newest “it” item, they can be found at any price range and in tons of stores from Old Navy to J.Crew to Nordstrom.

Loathe it: If these jeans are so big and baggy, how do they stay on? Guys jeans just don’t fit a woman’s body the right way, so if you’re actually wearing your boyfriend’s jeans, you’re probably going to have to roll those suckers up and invest in a cute belt. Even if you’re wearing boyfriend jeans that are made specifically for women, rolling the bottoms up a couple of inches is the new way to rock ‘em. But just how much DO you roll them? If you roll too high, the jeans start looking like ill-fitting capris, but if you don’t roll them high enough, they can look like awkward cigarette pants. I’m pretty sure that I would be driven crazy trying to make each side of my jeans match perfectly.

Additionally, boyfriend jeans are tricky– the look can be just plain hard to make work. While they have looked very cute on Reese Witherspoon and Charlize Theron, whenever Katie Holmes puts on a pair, the style just isn’t right.

So what do you think ladies? Are you going to be stealing a pair of jeans from your boyfriend or best guy friend’s closet to try out this trend or are you not a fan of this androgynous turn in fashion?