Ahhhh, the first episode of the season and it’s already chock full of goodies! We may not love the new judge (she’s acting all too-cool-for-school already), but last night’s episode did not disappoint.

Between that guy who was so nervous he almost passed out and you couldn’t understand a word he was singing to the bikini girl who is now all over the internet and probably loving her 15 minutes, the two-hour season premier went by way too fast. Thank God it’s on again tonight!

We usually can’t devote two straight hours to anything (class, working out….) but American Idol continues to draw us in with it’s perfect mix of talent and um, the other people. Here are a few of our faves from last night’s episode:

The Hobbit-y Dude:

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Her name is Katrina Derrell. She models.

Wanna lose weight? Try the Chopstick Diet.

Mmmmm Matthew Fox on Details.

Northwestern Fraternity locked out of house.

If you want a job, you gotta intern.

Victoria Beckham takes it off for Armani.

5 people it’s totes OK to hate.

Strength training for beginners.

The best position for the Big O.

Shenae Grimes: “I don’t need no stinkin’ pants!”

Women could have prevented the economic crisis.

20 money-saving tips for your makeup bag.