So, what’s next for Paula Abdul?

Stay away from these dudes.

It’s a boy for Kendra Wilkinson.

Bates students turn trash into treasure.

Bradley Cooper is off the market, ladies.

Christian Siriano brings the fierce to your face.

Kendra Wilkinson is one hot pregnant lady.

TTFN, cellulite!

Something’s wrong with Mischa Barton.

Not everything in the world has gone to crap.

Oprah is really influential.

Foods that shrink your stomach.

Girls Next Door’s leading ladies, Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison, and Bridget Marquardt are slowly trickling off the bunny ranch. To Hef’s dismay, his girls are looking for bigger and better (and dare we say younger?) things in life. So let’s re-cap:

First, Holly, Hef’s main squeeze, discovered about six months ago that her little Puffin had no intention of getting married OR having children. (But let’s be real, Holly. I know you love him and all, but the man is 82. Did you really think he’d want to go down that road at this age…again? Regardless, we love you for trying.) After discovering the chances of becoming the next Mrs. Hef were slim, fat, and none, Madison got pretty depressed and announced her split from Hefner. Since then, it’s been confrimed Holly’s dating mindfreak, Criss Angel. Read More »

Aw, such sweet bromance…

Understand the economy with Chris Farley movies

At last, something to do with your ex’s testicles once you cut them off

Celeb camel toe AND mom jeans alert

Disney on Depressants

Howard Stern ties the knot, Mr. Kelly Ripa officiates, celebrities now control the universe

Britney channels the other Madonna

Diddy is afraid of Palin

It’s official, Kate Moss has a golden vajayjay

The sham is almost over…

Dita Von Always Looks Awesome

St. Tyra declaws a catfight

Holly finally realized Hef is old

In this episode, the Lohans FINALLY get to Vegas! They didn’t fly there in a private jet though, which I’m gonna admit was a bit of a let down (I expected some major control issues and perhaps Dina’s debut as a pilot), and there was no liquor fueled dramz. While the episode was age appropriately absent of hard booze, it was heavy on the whine.

For some reason, Ali chooses to adopt an even more nasally tone for this 25 minute tribute to ungratefulness. She complains in this obnoxious tantrum pending voice about all of the trials life has delivered to her. Like the fact that she, her awesome brother and (arguably) cool mom have to live in a tricked out penthouse at the Palms while she records her album. I guess it gets pretty taxing when you’re attending all of these exhausting “Welcome to Vegas!” parties (with delicious looking cake) thrown just for you by the f*#king Maloufs.

Ugh, sorry about that. Anyways, Dina introduces Ali (who is wearing a gorgeous but way too mature minidress) to a bunch of important 30 something guys that she wants Ali to “get comfortable with.” Dina baby, they’re mentally undressing your 14 year old — not very comfort inducing, I would say. The men all flirt with Ali while she fidgets, present her the aforementioned cake (note to self, go buy something with chocolate as soon as I’m done writing) and begin an episode long tradition of complimenting Ali and promising her she’s the next big thing. Read More »

Thank the Lord for “Celebrity Rap Superstar.”

My first viewing was last week; I had seen the commercials and made a solemn oath to avoid this one at all costs. But like Whitney to crack, there I was in front of my television, enjoying the rush of shame and delight that came from my first few moments of CRS.

None of the contestants on the show are legitimately famous. Reality television has produced a mass of “celebrities” that are longing to extend their already used 15 minutes of fame.

There is Jason Wahler of The Hills, who forgot every single lyric during is first performance, making Ashlee Simpson look legitimate. You will laugh, and cringe, and perhaps shed a tear for poor Jason, who takes himself WAY too seriously.

Then of course, there’s the Queen of All Media, Ms. Perez Hilton himself. The nice thing about Perez is that he is actually in on the joke, and makes fun of himself the whole time. He knows he’s a blogger who got lucky, and proceeds to laugh his way to the bank. Perez already has street cred, he doesn’t need to earn it. Read More »