Is this supposed to be sexy? Maybe some sort of horrible PETA experiment? WTF? What did Kermit ever do to you, skinny girl?

He didn’t deserve this, especially whatever torture you put him through to get him on a headband. There are plenty of other (less offensive) ways to add a little green to your wardrobe!

Yes, including your makeup.

Don’t worry – you won’t look like Kermit… or Elphaba from Wicked. There is a perfectly acceptable way to put green on your face. And that involves subtlety. Shy away from neon greens or green lipsticks; instead, layer on the green shadows, liner and mascara for a festive yet totally classy look.

Who knows? You may even continue to rock those greens all year long. Plus, no one will be able to resist a pair of sparkling green eyes.

So give green a chance with these great green products!

Liner Shadow: Black Emerald: $13

Sephora Brand Mascara Fantastic Color: Green: $4

Lancome Le Stylo Waterproof Eyeliner Pen: Emerald: $23.50

Cargo Color Eye shadow Pallete: Tahiti: $28

Bare Essentuals Ponder Four Piece Collection: $42

Envy- pale lime shimmer, Pond- matte blue green, Live-shimmering moss green

Kat Von D Rock n Roll Eye Shadow Duo: King Cobra: $20

Urban Decay Heavy Metal Liner Glitter: Mullet: $18

I had a lot of nightmares as a kid. Thanks to these nightmares and various frightening films I’ve developed a hilarious set of OCD habits such as opening and closing closet doors before sleeping and checking behind the shower curtain before I saddle up to the toilet (you laugh but one day someone is gonna be in there and then who’s the dumb one!)

My imagination is easily inspired. For a while I couldn’t even watch a commercial for a horror movie because I knew those 30 seconds were enough to create an entire world of horrific fantasy that I’d be trapped inside for the rest of the evening. The one thing more unnerving then horror characters and sharks (I don’t swim in the ocean, at all, ever) is muppets.

Not all muppets, Kermit is fine, Fozzy, whatever. I’m talking about those LSD muppets that creators slip in films and TV shows, mixed with other cute, lovable creatures. They lure you in with Grover and then BAM, some abomination walks onto the screen that’s burned into your mind forever. Some horribly disfigured, warbly voiced monstrosity that may as well be drenched in blood, because thats how you’ll remember them, regardless.

Here’s five of the worst perpetrators.

5) Sesame Street’s Big Bad Wolf

He first appeared in a mock ‘News Report’ that Kermit was doing about the story of the 3 Little Pigs, but eventually was cast in a full time role in my brain as the monster that lived in the crawlspace behind our dryer. His nose and mouth are almost crocodilian in length, making him a hybrid death machine that can not only eat you whole, but smell (and enjoy) your fear.

4) Sesame Street’s Yip Yip Aliens

Who the f*ck invented these? I’ve seen like 3/4th’s of every science fiction movie ever and I’ve never observed a more frightening rendition of creatures from another planet. They have no body, and their circular mouths are contorted into a look of excruciating pain. The sound they omit — ‘Yip Yip‘ — over and over gives them an almost zombie-like demeanor. Incapable of love or communication, their race knows only war.

3) Skeksis from ‘The Dark Crystal’

Bird reptiles that appear to have some type of bizarre bone disease and turn infantile when they die/age. As someone who grew up around wild turkeys, the thought of gangs of intelligent, upright walking, violent minded birds hit very close to home.

2) The Rockbiter from ‘The Never-ending Story’

Could you have designed a more horribly disfigured face? My cousins would loop this scene and force me to watch it as a form of torture.

1) The Fiery Gang from ‘The Labyrinth’

A gang of forest dwelling, possible serial rapist apes who sing about ‘showing you a good time’ while removing their limbs and creating a gallery of horrifyingly twisted body shapes. Then they try to rip your head off, in an effort to make you more like them. Awesome, just awesome.

[Got any childhood fears induced by muppets? We want to know]