CollegeCandy » kim basinger

The Batman Franchise Listed According to Hotness

Jess - NYU — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:30:00 +0000

Batman. He’s rich, brooding, favors skin-tight latex, and tends to speak in a real low sexy-scratchy voice (no matter who’s playing him at the time). He’s obviously got some issues, but how can you hate on a guy who’s buff and saves the world on his off days from being a millionaire playboy?

I mean, I’d hit that.

There have been 5 Batman films since 1989, with a 6th one coming out this weekend. Not all of them have been critically acclaimed, but certainly all of them have tried to manufacture true hotness in a batsuit. Because we enjoy hotness even more than we enjoy things blowing up and campy dialogue, we here at CC have listed the Batman movies in order of their attractiveness factor. That’s right. Hot. Bod. Action.

5) Batman and Robin (1997)

Why it’s HOT: George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, Uma Thurman, requisite skin-tight body suits

Why it’s NOT: Ahnold Schwarzengovener, Chris O’Donnell, the whole idea of “batboy” (please. Never seen anything gayer), the whole idea of “batgirl” (double please. She sucked), and this plot summary from IMDB.com: “Batman & Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City” (sounds like a chick flick where people have idiot names).

4) Batman (1989)

Why it’s Hot: Jack Nicholson being crazy, Michael Keaton’s expressive eyebrows, pre-Ihatemyhusband Kim Basinger

Why it’s Not: Everything about Michael Keaton besides his eyebrows, boring plot, and how come it’s never sunny in Gotham?

3) Batman Returns (1992)

Why it’s Hot: Michelle Pfeiffer (and her catsuit), Michael Keaton’s eyebrows (now with more expression!) Christopher Walken, a plot that is interesting, Danny DeVito’s penguin laugh

Why it’s Not: Danny DeVito’s small penguin body, everything else about Michael Keaton (on what planet is this man attractive?), stupid obvious title

2) Batman Forever (1995)

Why it’s Hot: pre-fatness Val Kilmer in spandex, Nicole Kidman, hilariously ADDified Jim Carrey, Drew Barrymore, Tommy Lee Jones (when isn’t he fabulous?), lots of stuff exploding into fiery plumes

Why it’s Not: Chris O’Donnell (just.go.away), the wicked long plot, Jim Carrey in a green bodysuit, a title that makes no sense

1) Batman Begins (2005)

Why it’s Hot: Christian Bale in spandex, Christian Bale doing various shirtless things including push-ups, Michael Caine, Liam Neelson, a really good plot, Christian Bale smiling, Christian Bale’s accent…

Why it’s Not: Katie Holmes (all downhill since Dawson’s Creek, sweetheart), the fact that Christian Bale is not shirtless more often

[Any hot or not parts to your favorite Batman film? Also, how psyched are you for The Dark Knight (and possible shirtless Bale action)?!]

It’s Everybody’s Fault But Alec’s.

CC Staff — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 20:05:10 +0000

I am pissed at Alec Baldwin. Despite calling his daughter “a rude, thoughtless, little pig” in the now infamously inexcuseable and abusive phone message released by TMZ last week, he forced me to watch the View this morning.

I f@$&ing hate the View and more specifically Rosie O’Donnell, but I am a big fan of Alec as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock and was certain he would use this opportunity to take some responsibilty for his ridiculous tirade and show the world he is deserving of atleast a tiny bit of compassion. How wrong was I?

Acting as the meat in the middle of a Rosie-WaWa sandwich, Alec spent 20 minutes placing the blame on everyone possible but himself. He cited the guy that released the tape as being a miserable human being who exploited Alec’s dark moment only because he himself had a closet full of deep dark secrets. He then went on to bash all the members of the tabloid media as being evil people with broken souls. And if any one person deserves the blunt of the blame, it is not himself, but rather his unfit, emotionally troubled ex-wife.

Was Alec Baldwin’s apology sincere?

Come’on Alec. Yes your points are valid, but very inappropriate. This was the perfect opportunity for you to just say you are sorry, that you love you daughter more than anything and that you will never be able to forgive yourself for misdirecting your anger at her when you meant it for your wife.

You blew it. Jack Donaghy or not, Alec Baldwin, you are a first class ass.

Baldwin & Basinger Have Zero Parenting Skillz

Jess - NYU — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:03:38 +0000

You’ve heard it, right? Alec Baldwin’s criz-azy message to his 11-year-old daughter? You know, the message where he swears at her and calls her a pig?

According to this website, the illustrious phone message may have been leaked to the press by Baldwin’s ex, Kim Basinger. Apparently, the two movie stars—who seem to be fighting for more years than they were married—hate each other so badly that they’ve decided to use their young daughter as weapon. According to reports, Baldwin claims that Basinger is trying to turn his daughter against him, while Basinger claims that Baldwin has “anger issues” and was an abusive father. Awesome. So cool that these two adults are turning their only child into collateral during their messy divorce. I’m sure she’s going to grow up to be perfectly normal with no developmental or emotional problems. Totally.

Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, you two are doing an amazing job as parents! You’re completely normal and mature, and I salute your unselfish behavior during this tumultuous time in your life! Hopefully, more and more couples in the process of separation will look to you two for advice because man, you’ve got it all figured out!