What could Justin Bieber possibly have to say?

Would you drink poop coffee?

Wait, Lindsay was using METH?

Lady Gaga performs a controversial show.

Kristen Stewart’s got a message for her haters.

Boycott BP by adjusting your spending.

We don’t have to worry about our genitalia getting chopped off.
You’re probably saying whaaaa? But yeah, this actually can, and does, happen. Poor Stuart Keen is a victim, as his carpenter career left him hanging with… well…actually it didn’t quite leave anything hanging. He accidentally sawed off his own package, which he apparently thought was a cabinet leg.

No one has to know how hot we think our prof (or any guy, for that matter) is.
Fortunately for us ladies, we can be aroused and horny as ever, without the world (parents/grandparents/children, especially) seeing.

Nightlife is cheaper.
Cover charge for bars and clubs is often cheaper or even free just because we’re females, which no one can deny is freakin’ awesome. And how often do girls buy drinks for guys? I mean, yes it does happen, but usually it’s the other way around. So saving money on a night out is definitely a huge plus.

We can show emotion without having to think twice.
We can hug and squeeze our girlfriends as much as we want without any hesitation. Guys, on the other hand, are wary of such things. They settle for a pat on the back, a handshake, a high five. And sometimes we all just need a good hug.

We don’t have to bring sharp objects toward our face/neck.
The last thing I wanna have to worry about in the morning is getting a razor near my eyes/key arteries.

We don’t have to look the same every day.
We get to accessorize our outfits, put on different colors and shades of makeup, change up our hairstyle…the list goes on. Guys don’t have that many choices when it comes to changing up their look (or covering monster zits). That’s just gotta get boring.

Looks like I’ll deal with the blisters from my platforms, take the Midol for those cramps, and proudly say, I’m glad to be a girl!

What do you love most about being a woman?

If there is one thing better than a BFF, it’s a GBFF. Not only do you have someone by your side at H&M,  bringing you cookies when you’re broken hearted,  or laying aroun watching SATC marathons with you on a Saturday, but that someone is also fabulous, hilarious, and…er…gay! What makes a GBFF better than your average girl?

1. They’re honest
There’s something different about when a gay guy tells you that you look “fabulous” rather then when your girlfriend does. And by “different” I mean “more believable.” It’s not thay I don’t trust my girlfriends, but sometimes girls, consciously or unconsciously, tend to be more competitive when it comes to that kinda stuff. We all secretly want to look the hottest and be the best, so comments are sometimes not 100% truthful. A gay guy, though, isn’t competing with you for male attention (at least not from the same dudes), so you know when he tells you you look bangin’, you look totally bangin’.

2. They know what guys are thinking
However much we think we understand men and what goes on in their crazy heads, we don’t. We constantly try to guess what they are thinking 24/7, analyzing every text message, every voicemail, and trying to uncover the truth behind their body language.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Girlfriends can give some great advice when it comes to men, but none of them can truly understand what goes on in a guy’s head. Your GBFF can! Even though he may be gay, he’s still a dude who understands dudes. And he’ll give it to you straight.

3. No Expectations
Taking my gay friend to my formal this year at school was the best decision I’ve made since getting a gay best friend, hands down. It was a blast dancing around with him and not having to worry about the whole, “are we going to hook up” question or “am I leading him on by bringing him to formal?” Not having to consider any ulterior motives he might have had, or what he was thinking every second, was such a relief. Yes, I totally could have brought a girlfriend to avoid that as well, but honestly, it would have been awkward during the slow songs.

4. They know how to move
My girlfriends can’t spin me around, pick me up and leave me practically speechless with their incredible dance moves. Not that I’m not a fan of the way-too-long-sweaty-out-of-synch grinding that normally occurs at any place you put college girls and guys together with some music, but it’s nice to do some traditional fun dancing with a guy who’s got some rhythm. And a great outfit. And hot shoes. And muscles.

5. They can make you laugh
Ok, so I’m sure all of your friends can make you laugh, but it’s different with the GBFF. Just think about it – Heidi Klum is cute and funny, but she’s no Christian Siriano. Just sayin’…

Someone (that crazy-ass Danielle from The Real Housewives of New Jersey) once said that behind every beautiful woman is a gay man pushing her along. I believe it. Everyone needs a GBFF. You just can’t have mine.

On the upside, there are definitely several things to look forward to, like our NCAA National Football Championship airline ticket giveaway, and a couple more items on the to-do list before the ball drops on 2009. Of course, if you’re looking for that perfect gift, perhaps a personal DIY project will do just the trick. Getting dolled up a la Twilight stars and pole-dancing for fitness are two of our new fave ways to look hot.

And when it comes to staying warm this season, there’s nothing like a little personal company. Whether you did the dirty with your first serious significant other or it led to a walk of shame, we’re all looking for some body heat to get us through the winter. We discussed the benefits of getting down with the game playa or the honest boy, and the scandalous new phenomenon of “sexting.” Regardless of who, when, or how often you’re hooking up, one thing is for certain: ladies are definitely getting some for themselves these days.

If all of that doesn’t help you through the end of finals, at least take these tips for saving your grades and stick around next week for more CollegeCandy fun!

Hey Single Ladies,

Did you just graduate?

Trying to pick a school?

Just looking for a new place to call home?

Perhaps you should choose one of these cities: the best in the country for the singles.

I live in Detroit, a city far better known for its murder rate than an endless sea of eligible bachelors. Sounds to me like it’s time to start packing. Cities chock-full of single men?

Count me in!

Dear Ladies, I want you to ask yourself a question I often times ask myself on the shameful walk through an apartment which I hardly recognize on a hung over morning. The man at hand’s name is still new to me and I’ve left him snoring in his sheets. His roommates are awake and have no fucking clue who I am, so I wave awkwardly and put my boots on as quickly as possibly. I tell them to have a nice day and I just know, as I stumble down the building’s steps, one of them is asking the other:

“Wasn’t that their first date?”, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.

So the question of doom is this, ladies:

Are you really a lady?

I’ll be the first one to rub hot wing sauce on my jeans. I can be as tomboy as they come… can’t break a nail cause I don’t have any to break…so I know that I’m not a stereotypical “lady”. But when it comes down to sex, I’m starting to see that the “Anything Goes” handbook I’ve been using for dating might not exactly be relevant anymore.

There are rules, whether you want to follow them is up to you, but I think it’s important that even the most unlady-like of ladies know when to hold out for sex. The key here is to know what you want from the guy.

If you’re in a new town (or your own town, whatever) and have decided that you literally just want to f*ck someone; well, you’re on what I like to call a mission. If sex is your ultimate goal, then find your dude and do the nasty thing. In fact, if you just want a casual hook-up with some dude you don’t even like all that much, there’s no sense in making him–or you–wait in that case, either.

The difference comes in to play when you meet a guy you really like. You know that guy you can spill your soul to, cry laughing with, and even though you deny it, you can really see some long term potential with him? He’s the guy who has to wait.

It’s plain and simple. If you want to keep his interest fastened tightly, you have to hold out. I would go as far as to say no more than kissing on the first date and to wait for sex at least until the 3rd or 4th date. This may not sound like a long wait to many of you, but trust me, it’s enough for him. Play your sex cards right and he’ll be begging for you by the 3rd date and guess who’ll have the upper hand at that point?

You, of course.

So to summarize for all of us unlady-like ladies out there:

If you don’t see potential with the guy; bone him in the bathroom at the bar. As long as you’re safe about it, who cares what happens later?

If you see any potential with him, excuse yourself from the petting session and make Prince Charming wait.

Got it? Good.

Class dismissed.

I’m all about the truth – truth in relationships, truth in politics, truth in what a girl is hiding underneath her undergarments. The act of stuffing should be exclusive to Santa Claus and Thanksgiving.

The Wonderbra was designed to make women feel better about their lack of rack by padding around their mini-rounds. How is that any better than me stuffing a sock around m’thing? It’s false advertising for sure; then again I truly feel for women who are only judged on the size of their womanhood.

It’s a Catch-22, this situation.

While I will never be able to crack the code that is the bosom – we must, we must, we must increase/decrease our bust - I do have a word of advice for any woman feeling down on their endowment: f*** it. Men who resemble pot-bellied pigs with receding hairlines have no right taking down to your tiny tits – especially when they have a tiny d*ck.

Confidence (not arrogance) is key for both genders. If wearing a wonderbra makes you feel sexier – and your sassy and confident attitude proves it – go for yours, ladies. I’m an ass-man anyways…

…Did that just contradict everything I said? Oh the hell with it – my point is what’s attractive depends on the person. Flaunt whatever you have and you’ll get supporters. Promise.

Aren’t you sick of your man going to Home Depot every weekend (word!) to buy more big-steel-things with levers and springs and stuff (uh-huh!) when he should be taking out the trash (snap, snap)?

Well the time has come, girls: Her Depot is here!

Her Depot – yes, I’m serious; that’s the moniker – is a “sister store” of the popular chain of home improvement stores…with a female twist!

Instead of purchasing important items like snowblowers and aluminum siding you can buy real home essentials like flowers, storage bins, furniture, flowers, super cute kitchen stuff, pottery and flowers.

Ladies love flowers – am I right, ladies?

**~~LaDiES niGhT!!~~**

Why only go to Bed Bath & Beyond, Pottery Barn, Pier 1, Trader Joes, Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Target, Crate and Barrel, Meier & Frank and Macys when Her Depot can also aid you in your neverending quest for useless trinkets that find their way into the attic after a month?

Whateva, ladies – us fellas will be shopping at Home Depot, drinkin’ brews, watching football and calling our wives “the ol’ ball and chain” as always.

Let the Great Gender War begin.

Well, apparently life hasn’t stopped piling on the sh*t, because last night I was dumped by my LDR. Cool, huh? That’s what I said.

But f*ck it, it’s the weekend! I say forget the life dump and decide to dump your life in favor of a f*cking good time!

So here, I provide you with my Break-Up Survival Kit, so you can get back on your feet and back into the bar!

1)Chamomile Tea Bags- Soak them in some cold water, squeeze them out and place them over your puffy eyes. Do this a few times and your eyes are guaranteed not to look as swollen as they were last night. Plus, the smell is rather soothing as well! Double duty.

2)Your Possee- You need your support system. So call until they pick up and then wail and wail and wail. They will understand that you need them. Then tell them that tomorrow they must drag you out to a bar for a girls night. You might even score a few free drinks! Love the ladies!

4)Your drug of choice- If you feel it coming (like I did, I have great intution) get a little drunk first. Yes, it will make you more emotional and probably more irrational but who the hell isn’t both of things when you’re getting broken up with anyways.

But don’t buy in mass quantities. Go small—like beers or airplane bottles—because you probably won’t want to stop drinking. But you must! I then like to end the night with a few sleeping pills just to round off the whole sh*tty experience. At least you won’t be tossing and turning!

5)Lots of DVD’s of your favorite dramatic TV Show- You’re going to sob a few more times anyways so go ahead and watch a sappy movie or TV show (not a love story though,…stay away from The Notebook) Let those tears flow! Get that sh*t out!

And then when you get around to thinking about the failed relationship, your eyes will be all dried up and you can (maybe? possibly?) be rational about the whole thing.

6)Make plans—lots of plans—for the next week. Fill that calendar up with fun things you like to do. I have a Monday night Girl’s night with my friend MK, plans to go to yoga this week, get my desk out of storage and set my room up (since I have lived here since July). I’m taking, well forcing myself, to recognize the me time I haven’t been making. And now is the time to do it.

So get drunk, have fun, go out with the girls! Download Breakin’ Up by Rilo Kiley because it’s a great, upbeat breakup song!

Appreciate the relationship for what it was and don’t wallow in what could have been, start looking at what will be… You, happy and healthy.