Ah, it’s almost back-to-school time. August is quickly coming to a close and I can practically smell summer ending. Although it’s hard to part with backyard BBQ’s and cut-off shorts, the end of summer also ushers in something I enjoy equally as much: The return to campus.

But not everybody is headin’ back to a cramped, 8×10 box that college officials have dubbed “ the dorm.” Nope—some of you ladies (myself included) will find yourselves hunched over textbooks in more reasonably-sized quarters. Yes, I’m talking about off-campus houses and apartments! Although living off-campus for the first time is exciting, there are a couple things you definitely need to know when preparing to live on your own for the first time.

1. Grocery shopping sucks. At first it sounds freakin’ sweet to be able to grab a cart and throw whatever goodies your little heart desires into it. It’s so much fun to ogle all those fresh fruits and veggies and delicious frozen pizzas. The first time. But going grocery shopping when you’re hungover/starving/lacking caffeine is not fun. It’s a tedious, exhausting and costly activity. Find someone else to do it for you. For real.

2. Signing a lease is like signing over your life. It is HARD WORK to break a lease. Once you sign your name on that dotted line, you’re at the mercy of your (slum)landlord. Although there are ways to get around it (like by having a good lawyer, or a REALLY sh*tty landlord), most of the time you’re locked in until your move-out date, sister, regardless of your personal issues. Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Landscapers: Ok guys, I understand that you’ve got a lot of ground to cover (no pun intended) and that requires you to start the day extra early to please all of your clients, one of whom happens to be the landlord of my apartment. I have no problem with you guys manicuring the lawn (because the thought of operating any type of lawnmower scares the living crap out of me–wierd childhood fear), but I do have trouble justifying the fact that you come at 7 am every. single. Monday. Coincidentally, 7 is four hours earlier than I ever plan on waking up on a Monday. I’m sure you can understand why it could be difficult to sleep through someone weedwhacking right under my window. On the bright side, you do wake me up early enough to possibly be a productive citizen, so I actually didn’t mind my chainsaw alarm last Monday when it got me to go to the library earlier–until I walked outside and got dirt in my eyes from the huge clouds you stirred up with the leafblowers. Will you never let me have my peace!? Read More »

You might think Small Claims Court is only for trashy folks on Judge Judy, but when you’re a college student with little power, it can be easy for someone to blindside you by taking advantage of you (and your finances) when you least suspect it. That actually happened to me, when I was subletting from a psychopath who decided to change the locks on me one day and keep my entire rent check (it was the first week of the month when I was forced out) and my security deposit.

If I thought I was shocked when I was suddenly barred from my own home, I was even more surprised when I learned the ropes of actually going to small claims court. Why does this lesson fit into Money Matters? Because you actually have to spend quite a bit of money if you want to get what is owed to you in the long run.

In order to file your claim, you will need any articles of evidence pertaining to your case. Any contracts, agreements, or legal statements should be compiled and photocopied. Then you will have to pay a fee just to have your case processed. For me, I had to pay to get several of my documents photocopied, and then cut a check for $100 to the court just to proceed. $100 when I was already out over a grand. Still, at that point, it had become a pride issue, and I wasn’t going to let this snake take advantage of one more poor, naive girl.

Depending on the rules of your particular state, you may also have to pay for an officer to personally deliver the small claims summons to the other party. The problem with that is that the officer can only try the house so many times before all of your paperwork is returned to you, with a stamp that reads “Undeliverable.” So I had to try again. After the second set of docs was returned, I found my villain’s work address (ironically, he was a bank teller) and the po-po brought his small claims summons to the bank where he worked. Read More »

Besides all the sucky-ness that moving has to offer, it does have on hell of a silver lining: DECORATING!That’s right ladies – whether you get to trick out a house, apartment, townhome or dorm, you get at least one special private room that will reflect your amazing style. Not only will your boudoir be your locale for sleeping (or not sleeping, wink wink!), it will be where you study, get ready, pre-pregame, watch trashy TV, and lie in bed doing nothing.

No doubt it will be as fabulous as you are, but in case you needed some help getting started, here are some of this years’ hottest decorating trends. Read More »

So in the land of the rising sun, a woman was trapped in the closet. Oddly like R. Kelly. Since she was there for like a year, I imagine there were some moments not unlike those found in Mr. Kelly’s masterwork. What am I talking about?

Well for those of you who ignore the news clickers no doubt found to the side of your email logins, in Japan (aka: Weird Capital of the World) a homeless woman was caught living in a man’s closet. Not for like a week. Not a month. A year.

And the guy was living there. Not just in and out. He lived there.

Seriously, she was like his secret roommate. Like a mooching ninja. He wouldn’t have noticed anything if food didn’t start disappearing. How quiet was she if he never heard her? Or did he hear her and just assume it was just his neighbors making noise? You know, coming from the direction of his closet…In his apartment. Read More »

I don’t know how many times I’ve griped about the girls down the hall who pump heinous music at the most inconvenient times of the day, but we’ve all had a go of annoying neighbor syndrome.

So much so in fact, that one particularly skeeved neighbor decided to start a website about it.

Rottenneighbor.com is a site that blacklists bad music-blasters, stilletto-wearing tap dancers, drunken hall-pukers, and don’t-give-a-damn landlords.

It’s actually kind of genius, if you think about it. When hunting for a new place, you get to see the bathroom, the kitchen, the bedroom, but you’ll never get see through walls.

How do you really know what you’re getting yourself into?

RottenNeighbor makes sure you won’t drop big bucks on a dream apartment that turns quickly into a nightmare via your first run-in with the crazies next door.

You can also check out the super situation, which is ideal to someone like me, who spent a summer in the city getting completely ignored about my faulty stove and the flying cockroaches. Read More »