It’s almost the end of the school year and for those unfortunate seniors out there, it may also be the end of college. (Wah Wah) The second most asked question (right after “what are you doing to do after you graduate?”), will be “what do you want for your graduation gift?” While my wise brother always claims that cash is king, the older generation often wants to give you something more tangible as a gift.

So here’s a list of things you should ask for so you don’t end up with five copies of Oh the Places You’ll Go:

Choose the major that will get you to your dream job

3 fun and unexpected Halloween costumes

Just a typical college ACB thread

Tailgating on the cheap

Do’s and don’t of bringing a laptop to class

Unusual careers for college grads

4 habits you should adopt in college

Best places to study

Dive bar or trendy bar?!

Should she apply to an out of state school?

How to get more exercise in college

Life lessons from a college drop out

28 ways to clear an over-worked mind

It’s back to rehab for dear Lilo.

8 tricks to help you suppress that appetite.

Were these people drunk when this happened?

Halloween according to the cast of Modern Family.

The many (fabulous ways) to wear a scarf.

Truth: I am deathly afraid of what this might look like.

JCrew’s holiday collection makes me drool.

As do these Louboutin bags. Hello, lover.

The Do’s and Don’ts of using your laptop in class.

Caneiro’s concern regarding this ailment is understandable – we don’t need an entire generation of hunchbacks, after all – but in the grand scheme of things, Laptop-itis is the least of our problems. Really, there are plenty of larger issues we college students should be worrying about. Like Athlete’s Foot from the showers. Or Mono from all those frat party makeouts.

Or any of these:

Laundr-phobia:  Often striking halfway through the semester, students present with an unhealthy, all-consuming fear of the laundry room (usually stemming from an uncertainty of how to use the machines).  Symptoms include a lack of underwear, crusty stains and a less than desirable smell of mildew permeating from their overflowing hamper.  In extreme cases, Laundr-phobia’s effects can be disastrous (and foul), often leading to ridicule and friend loss.  While there is no known cure, temporary reprieve is available during long weekends at home with mom.

Caffeinitis:  This illness is brought upon by any of the following triggers: coffee, Red Bull, Five Hour Energy shots, or some dangerous combination of the three.  Symptoms include: shaking hands, a quickened pulse, fast and frequent trips to the bathroom and an inability to sit still for more than 3 seconds. In very, very extreme cases, students become immune to the effects of the aforementioned beverages and begin to abuse Adderall  – IF YOU REACH THIS POINT, SEEK WARM MILK AND A BED IMMEDIATELY.

Pump Foot: Often the result of dancing for hours on end in sky-high stilettos, this disorder generally manifests itself on Sunday mornings.  Characterized by large and painful blisters, cramped toes, and painful arches/calves.  Research on this disorder is limited, but it is understood that certain libations trick victims into thinking that they are immune and actually cause more damage. At present there is no known cure, but preventative care is available in the form of cute and comfy flats.

‘That Girl’ Syndrome:  The most unpleasant of all the diseases.  This disease often (though not always) strikes when a female is at her most vulnerable. Generally speaking, this is after the dissolution of a relationship.  While symptoms are different for everyone, the most common include: dancing on a bar, crying in the bathroom, gratuitous public displays of affection, falling down stairs, and generally causing a scene.  The most harmful effects of this particular ailment hit the following morning and often include mockery, embarrassment, and a dangerously long log of outgoing calls between the hours of midnight and 4 a.m.  The victim typically complains of two hangovers – one characterized by physical pain, the other by an overwhelming sense of shame. Recovery time ranges from one day to one month depending on the case.

‘That Guy’ Syndrome:  Not to be confused with the female version, ‘That Guy’ syndrome seems to harm those around the victim more than the carrier himself.  While suffering, patients will generally spill beer on their peers, crush beer cans on their heads, challenge anyone with a pulse to a Shotgunning contest, and puff up their chest at any innocent passerby who might “look at me the wrong way.”

I-Wait-Until-The-Last-Possible-Second-To-Write-That-Ten-Page-Paper-Because-I’m-Looking-Through-Everyone’s-Study-Abroad-Pictures Disease: While mild on its own, if not treated properly (experts recommend disconnecting from the Internet) it can lead to severe cases of Caffeinitis and Oh-sh*t-I-have-to-retake-that-class syndrome.

Don't. Tell. Anyone.

Let’s face it: we’ve all done some pretty ridiculous things in our lives. Things we think are totally logical in the moment, but make us cringe when we think about them later on. Things that we’d only tell our best friend when she’s three sheets to the wind and we know she’ll probably forget it. Things that we hide from the people who love us (and judge us) most.

Things that even we, ourselves, wish we didn’t know about. But things that our friends, family, and fellow CollegeCandy readers are probably doing all the time, too.

Like our fake boyfriends that we tell strangers about. 

So here is our chance to let it all out. To share our secrets and find that maybe we’re not so crazy, so weird, so abnormal, after all. We’ll spill the beans every Tuesday and invite you to share your own similar experiences below. Just think of it as therapy. Or a really hilarious way to spend a Tuesday afternoon.

Confession: When I know I might be in the bathroom for awhile, I don’t grab a magazine or a book and take it with me; I grab my laptop. (Honestly, the bathroom is the only reason I’d get an iPad – it would be way more portable.) Sometimes I’ll do some online shopping, sometimes I’ll read TextsFromLastNight, but usually I’ll just continue whatever IM convos I was having before I went in there. Yes, while I poop. I’m sure some people would think it’s gross to talk to them while I do my bizness, but I like to think of it as multi-tasking. It’s not like we’re on video chat, right? I mean, that would be weird.

Got a confession? Get it off your chest here. Don’t worry, we won’t judge. We’re sitting here with no pants on, after all.

But this thing?  Meh, not so much. The iPad’s got a hefty price tag that will set any college student back and I’m just not sure it’s worth it. Based on what I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure I could take that $600 elsewhere (like, I don’t know, the bar?) and be a whole lot happier.

Here’s why:

Apple Says: OMG EMAIL IS SO EASY TO CHECK!
Reality: Yeah, email is easy to check everywhere. Like on my laptop, my phone, or the 3,000 computers scattered around my campus. In fact, sometimes I wish my email were less accessible. If my profs knew they could contact me on yet another device, I’d never have the “I didn’t realize the assignment had been revised” excuse.

Apple Says: AHHH! YOU CAN READ MAGAZINES/NEWSPAPERS/BOOKS ON IT!!!
Reality: Or – and here’s a crazy thought – you could read actual newspapers/magazines/books.  Some of them are more portable than this thing and a hell of a lot cheaper. And if you really want an e-reader, the Kindle costs way less and won’t kill your eyes.

Apple Says: WOW YOU CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC ON IT SO EASILY!!!
Reality: You know what else you can listen to music on?  An iPod.  Which is also Apple. And much smaller and easier to use.  Plus, in the immortal words of Phyllis from The Office, “If you don’t have an iPod by now, you really don’t want one.”

Apple Says: YOUTUBE IS ON THIS THING?!
Reality: Yeah, it is.  Along with every other device known to man.  YouTube can literally be accessed by you on any electronic device anywhere.  Fear not, the fat kid singing “A:F6″ can be found even at 2 in the morning in the far reaches of space at this point. If, you know, you really couldn’t wait to get near a computer and needed to watch that right. this. second.

Apple Says: IT’S SO PORTABLE!!!!  LIKE A LAPTOP, ONLY BETTER!!
Reality: So a smaller version of a laptop that does all of these things?  You mean like the iPhone that they invented three years ago?  And that thing makes calls and texts, too.  This product does…none of those things.  Plus, it’s pretty unrealistic that those interested in buying it are also interested in bringing back the man-satchel just to tote this useless tablet around.

So yeah, I will not be dropping my hard earned money on Apple’s latest. At least not until the way better, way cheaper 2nd generation comes out.

True Life: I’m completely dependent on my computer. It’s my life source, as sad as that sounds. But honestly, it can do EVERYTHING. And when I say everything, I mean it. I bet you didn’t know the extent of your computer’s power. With one simple USB port, the world is your oyster.

Heated gloves:  It’s 3:30 a.m. in the basement of the library, you’re studying for your last exam before winter break and there’s a draft blowing past you. You’ve already donned your collegiate Snuggie, but that isn’t enough.  As you ferociously type away on your computer, your hands are frozen to the point of no return. What can you do? Plug in a pair of handy-dandy heated gloves to your USB port. Your computer heats the gloves and you can finish the rest of your English 101 term paper in peace.

Lava Lamp/Disco Ball: Sometimes when the mood is right and you’re feeling frisky, you get that urge to plug in your lava lamp or disco ball and start an impromptu dance party in your dorm room. But of course, all of the outlets in your room are already occupied; anymore and the R.A. is going to fine you for a fire hazard. No worries, a USB disco ball has solved your problems and you are once again the Lord of the Dance.

Coffee Maker: With a USB-powered coffee pot you’ll save yourself the $1.3 million you spend yearly at Starbucks. It’s a time-saver and really just convenient. And if you need extra beer money for the weekend, bring it to the library with you and start selling cups of brain juice from your cubicle. A win/win!

Eye Massager: Say what?? What the eff is an eye massager? A medieval torture device most likely. But, if you think about it, there may be something here. Long hours of staring at a blank Word document can make ones’ eyes grow weary, especially for contact-wearers. The glow of your computer screen can put a strain on your eyes. And if I can plug in a USB-powered eye massager, why not? Just be sure not to use this device under the influence. I do not predict good things.

Missile Launcher: Because everyone gets a little stir-crazy from time to time. Plus, I think a small-scale rocket launch attack on the hottie sitting next to you could be a great ice-breaker. Who doesn’t love a flirtatious missile to the head? Great story to tell the grand-kids.

Vibrators: Now you can charge up the ol’ Rabbit on the go. Whether you’re in class, the library, the local Starbucks, you can be sure your vibrator will be ready for you. I’m actually not really sure what a USB-powered vibrator is good for, but it sure is comical. “Sorry, Professor. Don’t mind me. Just charging up for later!”

Yeah, that's my life savings right there.

Because I’m making six pennies a year in my job after taxes, I follow a very strict budget that allows me to afford a moderate amount of food and a moderate amount of fun. There is no room for a savings plan in my budget so I just figured if I was extra careful nothing would ever go wrong.

Then last week everything went wrong.

I spilled sangria (or water according to the troubleshooting report I made to Apple) on my laptop, I dropped my straightener one time too many and it broke, and I found out my parent’s insurance company is onto me no longer being a student and has dropped me. For those of you non-accounting majors out there, that’s about 5 billion dollars worth of problems.

I had a minor panic attack. And by minor I mean I opened my window, stood on the ledge for a few moments, and thought about who I would haunt if I came back as a ghost. Then logic hit me and I realized that because I’m only one floor up I would just break a bunch of bones, sending me to the hospital and making my lack of insurance problem even worse.

So instead of jumping I thought of my other options. Luckily my grandparents who live in the city had a laptop I could borrow until I figured you out what to do about my laptop-turned-coaster. Unluckily it was designed for the partially blind. I’ve seen desktop computers more portable than this laptop. Hell, I’ve seen elephants smaller than this thing. The screen was about a football field long and the font was visible from space. This proved to be more than an inconvenience when I was blogging at WiFi cafes.  I was writing about STDs for one blog and let’s just say the employees at the cafe did not enjoy being able to read about gonorrhea while serving coffee. So not only did I have to blog from home all week, but I’m pretty sure I’m on a sex offender list now.

Which might have worked out better anyway considering my straightener situation. I can’t live without it  (or go into public places) because my hair’s naturally a combination of straight, curly, frizzy, and balding. Right now I have the iron permanently turned on hoping it’s just messing with me and still works. While I have no patience for a straighter with a sense of humor, I would take it if it means running those two hot plates of heaven through my unruly mane.

And as far as health insurance goes, well, it’s hard to get sick when you’re not leaving the house, right? And if I somehow do catch the Swine Flu, I’ll just steal someone’s identity who has insurance and load up on the meds.

In the meantime I’ll have to consider starting some kind of plan for saving. And by that I mean working on my pick-pocketing skills… or selling this laptop by the pound.

Here are some of the most well-known college kid characteristics and how you can change them to better our earth:

We are constantly glued to our laptops. And no matter whether you’re Facebooking or researching the native crops of Haiti, you’re still using lots of energy.  Now I’m not stupid – I wouldn’t dare suggest that you cut down your Skype time just to save the Earth.  Really all you have to do is cut down your energy usage when you’re not actually on the computer (i.e. sleeping or boozing).  How do you do this?  Unplug your electronics!  Computers practically use as much energy when they’re in standby mode as they do when they’re actually in use.  So if you’re leaving the room for a good amount of time, turn off your computer and unplug all of the plugs in your outlet if possible.

We are messy and we have our clothes to prove it. I don’t know about you, but I can’t seem to eat or drink anything without staining whatever I’m wearing.  This is especially tragic when you happen to be wearing one of those “dry clean only” numbers, which of course, are always the cutest.  But don’t run off and spend last night’s tips on pricey dry cleaning before you try some other easier, cheaper, and more eco-friendly tactics.  Believe it or not, some “dry clean only” garments (such as silk and wool) can actually be hand washed with cold water.   Of course, give it a test run before you wash and potentially ruin your favorite silk dress.  If that doesn’t work, seek out “wet cleaning” or “green dry cleaning” locations by searching at GreenEarth Cleaning’s website.

We pull all nighters to finish those last minute term papers. But don’t make the environment suffer alongside you!  Use your paper wisely – double side it (you can change the feature on your printer) for drafts and even for your final paper.  Most professors don’t really care whether your paper is one or double sided.  You can save even more paper, ink, and moolah by simply reading over your paper carefully before you print it out.  I’m sorry, but printing out a paper 50 times just because you keep forgetting to use spell-check is just ridic.

We fund America’s red cup industry. I will bet that 9 out of every 10 parties you attend you can be found with a red cup in your hand.  However, using a different red cup with every drink can be pretty wasteful.  What’s more, you never really know where those cups have been before they reach your lips.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not really down to catch the Swine.  Solve all these problems before they start by bringing your own cup.  Think about it – you can decorate it your own way (helloooo, Pimp Cup!), you don’ t have to share it with any creepy randos, and you’ll look far less suspicious when your grandma decides to check out your drunken facebook pics.

We’ll be honest, as much as we love getting (presents, sexual favors, free drinks…) around here, it’s the act of giving that really gets us excited. And the bigger the give the better we feel. So we’re pretty sure the feeling we’re getting from this latest CollegeCandy giveaway is pretty similar to sniffing 100 bottles of White-Out.

Yeah, we feel goooood.

With school rapidly approaching, CollegeCandy has teamed up with Ivy Worldwide and Hewlett Packard to give away a back-to-school computer bundle that’s better than a large pack of Sharpies and Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. Because we love our readers so much and want you to do well in school (duh!), we are giving away a package of goodies that is sure have you ready to go for the fall.

Prizes include (are you ready for this?):

- Not one, but TWO laptops: The HP dv6 Laptop, for all the heavy duty stuff, like blasting music in your dorm whipping up an out-of-this-world power-point presentation AND an HP Mini 110 to tote to classes and the libs for note-taking and paper-writing (or IMing your crush while simultaneously shopping for shoes). This bundle comes with Syncables software to keep both computers automatically updated with all your files and music.

- And to help you lug around all your new gear, we’re also throwing in The Timbuk2 H.A.L. Backpack.

*Pause for reaction*

Alright, now for the dirty deets on how to win.

Easy Peasy! Just send us a picture of you with that old P.O.S that you’re currently trying to work with to Bundle@collegecandy.com with a brief explanation as to why you desperately need a new compooper. We’ll post them and you’ll vote. The picture with the most votes wins. And yes, you can vote for yourself, cheaters.

Pictures must be submitted by Sunday, August 30th at 5pm EST. We’ll post ‘em all on this here website (CollegeCandy.com) on Monday, August 31st for people to vote and we’ll announce the big, fat winner Tuesday, September 1st.

Got it?

Ok, so we know you already love us for this awesome giveaway, but we aren’t done. Just in case you don’t happen to win our contest, here’s a list of other sites doing the same thing. You still have at least 12 more chances to win (which are in bold so you can enter them, too!), so get to it!

We know – we love you too.

Student Bloggers 12-16 Aug
Geekzone 13-17 Aug
Kill Jill Goes to College 14-18 Aug
Study Successful 15-19 Aug
Gear Live 16-20 Aug
CampusGrotto 17-21 Aug
Poorer Than You 18-22 Aug
Notebooks 19-23 Aug
ThePrereq. 20-24 Aug
Hack College 21-25 Aug
College Times 22-26 Aug
OSNN.net 23-27 Aug
Green Panda Treehouse 24-28 Aug
Building Camelot 25-29 Aug
Mocha Dad 26-30 Aug
College Candy 27-31 Aug
Studenomics 28 Aug – 1 Sep
The 2.0 Life 29 Aug – 2 Sep
Geeks room 30 Aug – 3 Sep
Debt Free Scholar 31 Aug – 4 Sep
One Day One Job 1-5 Sep
Daddy Forever 2-6 Sep
Clinton Fitch 3-7 Sep
Zen College Life 4-8 Sep
Gear Diary 5-9 Sep