[Everyone’s got a morning after story (though most don't involve a large group of potential sorority sisters) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

I love it when universities appreciate the modern college student: we wake up early, we work all day, we study hard, and we sleep late. Oh, and we like to party. Maybe not exactly like they do on Jersey Shore, but we party nonetheless.

So once a year, these universities plan a day – just one whole day a year – where they encourage even the most studious to stumble into class a little tipsy and the most punctual to skip their classes altogether. They do so by providing good food, fun games, inflatable obstacle courses and performances by headlining artists like Sean Kingston, Sara Bareilles, B.o.B, and Drake. It’s all for free and always begins on a Friday around noon. Which means the proper hydration process begins in the morning, if not the previous Thursday night.

This particular year, I woke up late. I had to make up for lost time, so it was a good thing my friends and I soaked pineapple slices in rum and vodka for the past 24 hours. (My mother always taught me to plan ahead….) We went to my boyfriend’s place just off-campus to pre-party before the big party. At least that was the plan. Unfortunately, those pineapples were a bit stronger than anyone thought and the next thing we all knew it was hours later, we were still sitting in my boyfriend’s living room, and we’d missed every single show.

But that was okay (at least to my drunk ass); we had a California Pizza Kitchen barbecue pizza in the freezer, and after an entire day of quenching my thirst, I was hungry.

I unwrapped that frozen deliciousness, popped it into the oven, and sat down on the couch as I waited for it to bake.

And then we all fell asleep.

Fast forward to the next morning when my boyfriend and I woke up in a fit of coughing to a room FULL of smoke. (Wow, way to not change your batteries in those smoke detectors, boyfriend). I started screaming and running wildly around the living room. Unable to see anything, I tripped over the coffee table and fell to the ground.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, kept his wits about him and proceeded to the kitchen. There he discovered the remnants of a burnt pizza inside the once-white oven that was now charred black. THANK GOD the oven blew the fuse of his entire apartment instead of setting it on fire altogether. Though you wouldn’t know it; that place smelled burnt and crispy for another month.

Next time, we’ll be ordering pizza.

[You think that's bad? Check out our other cringe-worthy Morning After stories.]

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the room.

What to Expect: Saying the same things over (and over and over) again.

How to Deal: I recommend printing a t-shirt that includes the following information: what school you go to, what (if any) sorority you are in, and an acknowledgment to the fact that you gained/lost weight. When you realize that these are the topics discussed all freaking night long you will thank me.

What to Expect: Awkwardly running into people you haven’t called back since you have been so busy doin’ your thang at school.

How to Deal: Is avoidance an option? If so, I recommend the duck and cover. If this is not an option (because ducking under the nearest table would cause quite a scene/you opted to wear a dress) turning the blame on the other person is always best. Approach them with intention and ask them why they don’t return your calls, explain that you have been tirelessly trying to reach them and it is so crazy that you can’t seem to connect. Make them feel guilty. Works like a charm.

What to Expect: The realization that a DD is necessary.

How to Deal: Make sure you don’t have a car available to you. Blame your parents, your siblings, or a dead battery; anything so you don’t have to be the sober one in the sea of awkward interactions. Trust me when I say that it is nearly impossible to get through this night without booze.

What to Expect: The realization that there is literally no late night food…especially in the form of delivery.

How to Deal: Those suburbs just don’t cater to the hungry-after-2am crowd. Pray for some Totino’s Pizza Rolls in mom’s freezer. Or some delicious leftovers. Do not – under any circumstances – dig into the pumpkin pie reserved for the following day. It is not worth that look of disappointment on mom’s face when she has nothing to serve for dessert.

Now you know and – as G.I. Joe once said – knowing is half the battle. The other half, of course, is finding the perfect outfit.

All the same, when I’ve consumed large amounts of alcohol, I’m going to go across the street and get chicken tenders from Whataburger. It’s just something that is inevitably going to happen, like Christmas every year, like my period every month (knock on wood), like my g*ddamn alarm clock going off every morning.

Because there is no single more satisfying aspect of the drinking experience than eating a lukewarm chicken tender at 2:30 in the morning. The nuanced interplay between the textures of chicken and breading somehow melds perfectly with the taste of Guinness that still lingers in my mouth.

That isn’t to say, of course, that other cravings don’t arise in my drunken state. Here are some other drunk food favs:

Potato Chips - Usually Sour Cream and Onion, which causes a serious breath issue in the morning (Onion + Alcohol=another reason to vomit). At the time, though, (like so many other things) it really seems like a great idea. Potato chips are usually pretty filling, you usually already have some at your house so you don’t have to drive around to find an open store to buy them (unless you live in a legitimate city and can simply walk outside for food) and they are fairly portable. By this I mean, you can’t very well bring your Chalupa into bed with you as you pass out. Or at least you really shouldn’t. I’ve passed out with my hand in a bag of chips before. Some would call that a cry for help, I would have called it being prepared.

Fast Food – I know this category seems pretty broad, but think about the times that you’ve been drunk and someone is driving you home. You pick up your head to look out the window, or get some fresh air, or relieve yourself of the alcohol you’ve consumed and pretty much the first fast food restaurant you see makes you want food from that restaurant intensely. When I see that Wendy’s sign, absolutely nothing in the world – no other restaurant, no person, nothing – will satisfy me but a number 9. That’s all I want and I will not be able to go to sleep/pass out until I get it.

Pizza – Cold, or fresh. The way the cheese and breading settles in your stomach sort of makes you think that it’s soaking up the alcohol and all the grease sort of makes you sleepy. Pizza is great for the night of casual drinking with friends, where you somehow all end up drunk without realizing it. When you do realize it, of course, you get hungry. What are you going to do but call up any of the 50 pizza places on or around campus?

All that being said, it’s important to note that eating whilst drunk, while greatly satisfying at the time, is a bad idea because you shouldn’t be eating at all that late at night, especially such fatty foods, and, according to Go Ask Alice, eating while drunk and sick can actually make you feel sicker. A good rule of thumb is to eat before you go out so you can fill up and absorb alcohol better when you do drink. And, on a personal note, know that Guinness and cheese dip should never, ever mix.

What is your favorite drunk food? Have any tips on forgoing drunken snacking?

There is nothing better than a crispy crust smothered in hot, gooey cheese. Add some grilled onions and mushrooms and I am dunzo.

The only thing better than a slice of pizza, actually, is an entire pie a slice of pizza after a night of drinking.

Yes, like unattractive guys and all songs written and produced in the 80’s, my love for pizza grows immensely when alcohol is involved.

It is like I am one of Pavlov’s dogs; the minute I taste beer, I start drooling for a slice of pie.

My cravings only grow more severe as the night progresses. With every downed shot I imagine my date with my precious pizza pie. So, when the opportunity finally presents itself, I go to town without any thought given to potential collateral damage.

Like my tongue, for instance.

Or the roof of my mouth.

What? Like you could wait the 20 minutes it takes to get home, the 10 minutes it takes to decide what delectable toppings/debate the need for a side of cheesy breadsticks, and the 35 minutes to actually get the pizza and NOT dive right in the minute it arrives?

I get so excited I can’t stop myself. Even though I know in the back of my mind that tearing the box open and biting into my first tasty piece is going to leave me with a numb tongue and a pallet that is so swollen I can’t make proper “S” sounds for a week.

Not to mention the fact that I have done so much mouth damage that I can’t even fully enjoy the experience because I can’t taste a damn thing.

None of that matters, though, because the minute that pizza guy steps into my house and the smell of heaven reaches my nose, all thoughts and memories of pain and burnt tongue-age are pushed from my brain. (Sidenote: The thought of paying the pizza guy has also been pushed from my brain on certain occasions, forcing him to knock on the door again and remind me that I owe him money. Unfortunately, at that point the damage to my mouth has already been done. “Thorry, thir.”)

I need help. I need guidance. I need the pizza to arrive at a cooler temperature. Or I need to find something else to do to save me from my self.

Anyone with me?

Maybe you’ve had a little puff of some wacky tabacky and you’re feeling pretty hungry. And even more lazy.

Used to be that these were major problems. Unless you live in a major city—ex that—unless you live in New York, there’s not a chance you’re getting that cookie at such an ungodly hour. In my Connecticut town, the police pull people over who are out after 10 PM. It rocks where I live…

For a select few cities, late night munchies are no longer a problem. Well, if you want cookies that is. Some brilliant students from UPenn have brought us Insomnia Cookies—a delivery service that will bring freshly baked, warm cookies right to your doorstep between the hours of 8PM and 2:30 AM.

Students from University of Syracuse, University of Michigan, Illinois, UMD, UPenn, Penn State, and of course, NYU can indulge in chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, sugar cookies, a cake sized cookie, a cookie with three different flavors… the possibilities are endless. They’ll even bring you milk to dunk everything in. Yuuuuuummy.

Talking about it with friends in New York, all of them said they were contemplating moving just to fit into the delivery area. They’re supposed to be that good.

Feeling like a business person yourself? Insomnia Cookies is looking to franchise to a campus near you. So get in on the big bucks, and start one up yourself. Seriously—there needs to be more of these, so get on it, people!