Even if, at the time, I didn’t know what was going on, I came to develop a passion (shared with me by my grandmother and father) for late night. I’ve seen dozens of episodes of Johnny Carson, while my peers barely know his name, and hundreds upon hundreds of episodes of Letterman. They were beloved figures in my household. As I grew up, I became partial to Conan during high school. I would stay up past my bedtime with my sister, skimming right over Leno to catch me some Conan O’Brien.

As time went on, the natural progression of things began to unfold. Leno’s time was coming to a close and he turned the coveted 11:35 spot over to Conan. However, instead of bowing out gracefully, NBC decided to cut their high-budget dramas at 10:00 and replace it with “The Leno Show.” Um, okay…?

And now, after only giving Conan a few months in this new time slot and after altering the nighttime lineup, they’re making an executive decision to move “The Jay Leno Show” to 11:35 and bump “The Tonight Show” to 12:05.

And this is pissing a lot of people off. Namely, ME.

First of all, “The Tonight Show” does not belong in that time slot and never has. It’s always been at 11:35 and shouldn’t be moved just to appease some old guy with a big chin. And let’s take a moment to note that Conan was never even given a fair chance with his “Tonight Show” gig due to the nighttime lineup changing to FIT LENO AT A 10 PM TIMESLOT. Leno should’ve retired and truly handed the reins to Conan. Who does he think he is? Brett Favre?

Leno and NBC both have screwed up the natural progression of the “Tonight Show.” The whole thing is so effed at this point that perhaps it would be better to focus on Letterman’s “Late Show” which is better anyway. Conan can leave NBC, collect his cool 50 million and in a few years, Letterman does what is right and passes the “Late Show” onto Conan while Leno crashes and burns when all his fans kick it due to health complications after all the KFC and Domino’s they’ve been eating in their trailer parks (or wherever Leno fans exist… I’m a little unclear on this).

[Breathe]

Last night I was venting my frustrations to one of my best friends. She doesn’t even own a television and cringes whenever I bring up Jersey Shore or any other pop culture phenomenons. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around it all, particularly NBC’s loyalty to Leno. So I explained it to her the only way I knew how. By relating it all to relationships, sex and some mild alcohol abuse.

NBC falls into a relationship (“Tonight Show”) with Leno. Perhaps Leno wooed NBC with his chin or fancy cars, but whatever the case may be, NBC and Leno are a pretty serious item. Years later Leno and NBC break up and NBC starts a relationship with Conan O’Brien, that lovable awkward redhead. However, NBC is still sleeping with their ex on the side. You know, maybe Leno’s getting drunk and feeding NBC lines like, “I love you and I love BEING with you, I just really don’t want a relationship right now.” NBC keeps dating Conan, but, hark, overhears that Leno might want a relationship AGAIN, if given a second chance (“Oh babe, we can try and make this work!”). And NBC goes back to him, thus leaving Conan alone to eat brownie batter out of a bowl while watching The Notebook.

Hitting a little closer to home to anyone?

It’s sad to think that the “Tonight Show” has been to reduced to “The Jay Leno and Corporate NBC Show” and subsequently lost all the credibility that Carson gave to it. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen now (rumor has it even Jay is gonna bounce on NBC. Boo hoo), but I know for sure that no matter what happens, I would rather watch reruns of Real World on MTV than get my late night fix from Jimmy Fallon.

You goin’ out tonight? Gonna hit the town and celebrate that final final? You gonna get so drunk that the only thing on your mind at the end of the night is gooey, cheesy and totally bad for you?

Me too!

But before you a make poor decision that involves you and the delivery places you clearly have on speed dial, read on. There are some snacks out there that are just not worth eating, no matter how many Vodka Red Bulls you’ve downed in honor of the end of History 240. Things you will regret more in the morning than last weekend’s romp with the History 240 T.A. Assuming all that fat and grease doesn’t prevent you from making it to the morning…

Domino’s Bread Bowl Pasta.

Not sure why you would want to eat this, as it both looks and sounds nauseating. But in case your taste buds aren’t satisfied with noodles alone and they long for a massive tub of soggy bread to soak up all the caloric goodness, just remember… NOT TO LISTEN TO THEM! No really– stay far, far away from this god-awful, heart-attack inducing concoction. I mean, who really needs to eat the bowl!? The giant serving of cheesy, creamy, fatty pasta isn’t enought?

It’s just gross. End of story.

Pizza Hut’s P’zone Pizza.

Described as: “Over a pound of toppings and cheese baked into a folded pizza crust!” I’m pretty sure that translates to: “Over a pound of extra fat stuffed into a pair of skinny jeans!”

Taco-Bell’s Nachos BellGrande.

Any food item with the word “grande” in it should most likely (as in, most definitely) be avoided. Unless it’s from Starbucks. You may think it’s not so bad – it’s  prepared with reduced fat sour cream! – but don’t be fooled. Low fat toppings or not,with 760 calories and 1300 mg of sodium (60% of your daily value of salt packed into one snack….er….fourthmeal!) this is a baaaad late night choice.

KFC Chicken and Biscuit Bowl.

(I think I just puked). Imagine of the four unhealthiest food items: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cheese, and biscuits. Now pile them on top of one another, smother the stuff in gravy, and whad’ya get? Something you should probably never eat.

Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust Pizzas.

If pizza itself isn’t a bad enough choice for curing (or provoking) the munchies, try pizza with extra cheese literally “stuffed” into the crust. The pie is apparently packed with melted cheese in the crust “so that the last bite is as good as the first.” Yea…so the last bite is as good, and fatty, as the first one. Two (of those very small Pizza Hut) slices have 800 calories. And if that wasn’t harmful enough, just imagine those grease burns you’ll get when that sh*t drips down your arms. Probably not the best choice during bikini season. Or ever.

Happy Square Root Day! Let’s party like it’s 3/3/09!

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We heart school spirit.

1) Red Cross Month

Obama’s Presidential Proclamation last Friday marked the 66th time March has been declared Red Cross Month, and in honor of it, the American Red Cross will launch the first national Change A Life contest, running from March 2-16 (so enter now!) Just go to RedCross.org and share your story of how the Red Cross has changed your life or someone else’s life, and you could win a trip for two to Washington D.C. to join Keith Urban on his Escape Together world tour concert!

2) Rebounding

In celebration of Red Cross Month, I’m going to introduce you to a new form of the rebound – not just for sex, basketball, or even the emotional one anymore. I’m talking about the heart-healthy, original pure form of the rebound: on a trampoline. It’s quoted by NASA as “the most efficient and effective exercise yet devised by man,” and you can do it at home whilst watching TV! Unlike jogging, which for many people can cause stress on the joints, rebounding is a zero-impact exercise and is suitable for all ages and abilities.

3) New Funny Men

Ok, maybe not so new. But after Paul Harvey, one of America’s most beloved broadcasters in television history, sadly passed away over the weekend, don’t you want to hang onto the familiar? And while Conan O’Brien may be leaving Late Night, he’ll be sticking his late-night gig out on the Tonight Show, which is currently still hosted by Jay Leno. After Leno ends his contract in May, he will then be placed in the 10 o’clock comedy spot, an hour before his former show at 11. The totally new guy coming in will be Jimmy Fallon, an SNL alumnus, who will start hosting Conan’s Late Night tonight! It’s kinda confusing, but the main message is that you’ll still be able to watch your favorite late-night funny-men, just at different times. And if you’re in the mood for something new, tune in to see if Fallon can fill Conan’s (rather big) shoes or not.

4) Levers

No explanation needed. Just click here and play. (*Warning: may be as addicting as Jetman.)

5) The Couch Dress

Obviously the name isn’t as cool as the Snuggie (which is still at the top of my shopping list), but The Couch Dress is aptly named because it fits directly over you and onto your couch, so you can always blend in with your favorite piece of furniture! (Which is… awesome?)

6) Watchmen Hits Theaters March 6th

For all the comic book geeks out there (and the rest of us who simply like men in tights) director Zach Snyder has transformed this graphic novel into a big screen production. Not only does it have an 81% rating on Rotten Tomatoes (a pretty good critic rating), but even the director says it’s “a weird movie.” Now I HAVE to go see it. Plus, it’s a great alternative to seeing that Jonas Brothers 3-D bullsh*t that is also sweeping theaters this month.

7) MARCH MADNESS IS HERE!!!

Duke basketball is going all the way. Need I say more?

A big birthday Shout-Out to Dr. Suess, one of my favorite authors ever! Now go make some green eggs and ham and have a merry March.

Breakfast: Oatmeal. Again.

Lunch: My quick-fix meal, a ham and cheese sandwich, is out, so I just munch on grapes, dried fruit, and nuts. I feel like a Greek god, but not at all full.

Dinner: I pull out the big guns for dinner. I go to Whole Food’s and do a massive shopping by following a list I compiled using recipes found on allrecipes.com. The total comes out to $120. Turns out tofu is more expensive than I thought it would be. I get home and I do the unthinkable: I cook for myself. I mix and simmer and stir. I make a total mess, but it actually feels really good to slave over a hot stove for an hour.

The end result? A meaty (thank you, Boca!), spicy, filling vegan chili. I put some of the chili in a tortilla for a vegan burrito thing, and it’s delicious. I pour some in a bowl and eat it, and when I go to put it in a Tupperware container, I end up eating some of it right out of the pot, always a good sign!

Late night: My hunt for dessert in my fridge ends up with me accidentally taking a bite out of a non-vegan friendly Fudgesicle and then spitting it out. Then, my late-night cappuccino run turns into a late-night black coffee when the café I’m at doesn’t have soy milk.

The year I spent as a vegetarian in high school seems like a cakewalk after the last two days. Skipping over the meat dishes on a menu or avoiding those aisles in the supermarket is easy; having to study ingredient lists and constantly be thinking about what goes into the foods I eat every day is much, much harder.

I spent this past weekend reuniting with my college girls in Washington D.C. and it was absolutely fabulous. We spent our days looking through pictures, eating Oreo’s and hanging out and our evenings drinking and dancing at various bars around town. It was just like college, except for one major difference.

One night as I was making my way to the bar to re-stock on some Amstel Light, a tall lad struck up conversation with me. We talked as we waiting in the monstrous line and even after we had procured our drinks of choice. He was cute – tall, dark, good jeans – and I was really enjoying his company. But, even being six drinks in, I knew better than to go home with him when he asked.

I didn’t know who this guy was or what his intentions were. I didn’t know where he lived or what his name was, even!

Therein lies the difference between College Lauren and Post College Lauren.

If I were still in school I would have gone home with that boy in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t have considered the fact that he could be dangerous, he could have STD’s or that anything bad could come from the situation at all. I would have trusted him because he was on my campus – in my little bubble – and why wouldn’t I?

And I know I was not the only one doing that.

Now that my bubble is no longer exists and I don’t have that (false) sense of security anymore, I am a much more careful person. I can’t just trust anyone. And I am beginning to realize that I probably never could. I look back at my college track record and can now see that I survived those four years without any serious complications based on luck and luck alone. Just because some dude shows up at my college bar doesn’t mean he is safe. And just because I may know him through other people doesn’t mean that I can’t get a serious disease or, gulp, pregnant.

It was so easy to justify my actions while I was back in school and make it seem like the guy wasn’t that random. But he was. And it just wasn’t safe. Being on a college campus doesn’t make things better, no matter how much we want to believe it.

Besides, taking a man friend home means missing out on late night dance parties and pizza with the girls. And having had the opportunity to engage in both again this weekend reminds me just how amazing they really are.

No big deal, now that you can catch it on abc.com tommorrow right?

Well, to the Writers Guild (those in charge of writing every show you watch on TV) it’s more than a big deal.

So much so that today the writers decided to do something about it… picket signs, matching t-shirts, megaphones and all that hullabaloo- everyone loves a strike!

How does this affect you? Here’s the breakdown:

The Writers Guild (all 12,000 of them) feels they deserve residual payments for movies and TV shows viewed on the internet. Why shouldn’t they get a portion of the profit now that you can watch their work on the internet post walk of shame?

Yet the producers claim that the new media is still too new to figure out a way to compenstate their writers.

So what exactly does this mean for all of us die-hard TV watchers?

Well, for one thing, expect to no longer have an excuse to cancel your dates with the library. Starting with daily shows like The Tonight Show and The Late Show and working its way down to soap-operas, sitcoms and eventually movies, (depending on how long the strike lasts), the networks will be running more re-runs and… wait for it…creating new reality shows.

I can’t decide whats worse. As if summer reality TV isn’t bad enough. We may have to endure a full season of celebrity impersonators, and LiLo wannabees.

This is the first Writers strike since 1988, when the industry lost an estimated 500 million dollars during a 22 week long strike.

22 weeks?! That means that once all currently taped episodes air, that would be IT for the season.

Talk about a cliffhanger. Maybe David Letterman will actually have to write his own top ten lists? Maybe Greys will try a new reality-improv style?

While I’m all for the Writers getting their slice of the pie, I’m really not liking the idea of not having a reason to procrastinate.

I’m sort of stressing more over this than I do over final exams (totally normal, I know).