As a college student I’ve learned that there are just some things that parents will never understand. And I’m not talking about how to change their profile pictures or how to DVR The Closer. I’m talking about the way life is now; the way we college students communicate and socialize and hook-up.  I know I personally joke about my parents living when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, but sometimes, after being forced to explain to them what a sext is, I find myself thinking this could actually be true.

So in case you think you’re the only one with confused parents (why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her! Why do you always have to text everyone!?), this list will help you to see that you’re not the only constantly having to justify to your parents that slapping a bag of boxed wine is a fine way to spend a Saturday night.

1. We drink like champions

Let me just start by saying, parents will NEVER UNDERSTAND why college kids drink so much. I think we can all say that it’s a fun thing to do, a great way to meet people, and an easy way to break the ice with the cute guy across the room. Yet parents will always wonder if a kegstand is actually safe and why taping cheap beer to your hands is fun. Just accept the fact that no matter how many times you try to explain the rules of Beer Pong, parents will think that package of ping pong balls in your room is because you and your friends reaaally got into ping pong this past summer.

2. Hungry? Let’s Order Pizza!

If you didn’t make it to the dining hall before it closed or ran out of pasta to make at your apartment, pizza is usually the first thing to come to mind. Parents don’t understand that it completely normal to order pizza seven nights a week without even peeking inside the fridge. Healthy eating doesn’t really exist in college. Sure we go to the gym and sure we sometimes make sure to order chicken AND BROCCOLI from the Chinese place, but we rarely pull out the food pyramid and consult it. Read More »

I love the first week back after Thanksgiving break.

No scratch that, I hate it, actually. But what I do like is what that week represents. It’s the beginning of the end. The start of the finish. You’re over the hump. The semester is almost over. You’ve finally reached those last few dreadful weeks. And okay, maybe that doesn’t seem like something to be happy about, maybe you want to pull your hair out right now? Maybe you’re stressed? Sure, but just think, in a couple of weeks it will all be over.

How can you be sure that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Here are just a few signs that the semester is almost over.

10. You’ll do anything to avoid your homework. Okay. Time to get serious. You have a lot to get done these less few weeks. Time to buckle down and start working. No distractions. No Facebook. No phones. Reading time. But wait…you have been meaning to reorganize your desk. And your bookshelf. And…you get the idea.

Read More »

According to University of North Carolina professor Kevin Caneiro, there’s a new disease lurking on college campuses nationwide. Dubbed  “Laptop-itis,” it is the result of excessive use of laptops and cell phones with symptoms ranging from worsened posture to pain in the backs, necks, and wrists of students everywhere.

Caneiro’s concern regarding this ailment is understandable – we don’t need an entire generation of hunchbacks, after all – but in the grand scheme of things, Laptop-itis is the least of our problems. Really, there are plenty of larger issues we college students should be worrying about. Like Athlete’s Foot from the showers. Or Mono from all those frat party makeouts.

Or any of these:

Laundr-phobia:  Often striking halfway through the semester, students present with an unhealthy, all-consuming fear of the laundry room (usually stemming from an uncertainty of how to use the machines).  Symptoms include a lack of underwear, crusty stains and a less than desirable smell of mildew permeating from their overflowing hamper.  In extreme cases, Laundr-phobia’s effects can be disastrous (and foul), often leading to ridicule and friend loss.  While there is no known cure, temporary reprieve is available during long weekends at home with mom. Read More »

It’s that time of year again.  Yep, the time when suddenly it’s the end of August and you are stuck on your bed staring at all of shiz you need to pack into boxes for another successful (and sometimes difficult) year in college.  You get slightly excited for another year to pummel you in the face with good times and countless hours in the lib.  Can you feel it? Your insides tighten, your liver shrivels and shivers and your eyes twinkle. It’s a beautiful thing. Are those goosebumps?

Yes, it’s time to be ready for the school year. It’s time to start packing and gaining ultimate pre-college essentials to give you a chance for an easy ride through the first semester.  Alright CollegeCandy chickas, nurse those excited pangs of pain desire in your liver – we (with a little help from our college blogging friends) are going to get you ready for school!

* Before you even pack up the car, make sure that you don’t forget those necessary items that everyone always forgets to pack.

* Ok, I’m going to be the one to put it out there – I wasn’t much of a ‘laundry-pro’ going into college. I’m not kidding, can I say on here that I Googled ‘how to separate colors’ before doing my very first load? Yeah, embarrassing. Allow me to protect your Google history: here are some things you can think about in regards to doin’ the dirty laundry pile.

* Before I went off to college, shoved in between a thick pile of clothes and a dresser in my dad’s truck, I would have paid a fortune to have a 100+ list full of things to know in regards to college. Here’s the dream realized, free of charge.

* Come finals week, this list will be pasted to your forehead. Read More »

Some women have been blessed with the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing skills any ’50s housewife would be jealous of. You know the type – they go to their friends’ houses bearing baked goods, they know how to get that tricky stain out of delicate material, they’re just all-around nurturers.

I, on the other hand, find myself lacking in every aspect of domestic maturity. I dread doing laundry, I get extra excited on the rare occasion that my pasta comes off the stovetop instead of out of the microwave, and I gotta be honest, kids kind of piss me off.

For a long time, I’ve embraced this about myself. I was convinced I could just get by on take-out and who really needs children anyway? But as I approach my senior year of college, it’s beginning to hit me just how close I am to living life in the real world. In a very short while, it’ll be frowned upon to live like I do – laundry piling up, cabinets stocked with Easy Mac, dishes (read: shot glasses) sitting in the sink.

If this is truly some sort of natural instinct in women, when will it kick in for me? And why hasn’t it already?

After a lot of thought, I think I know what’s holding me back. It’s not that I just suck at these household duties – I am so afraid of what it actually means to perform them: growing up. Read More »

It’s May 26 and I officially have less than three weeks left in my college career. Most of you are already out of school (how’s that going by the way?), but I have twenty more days left. That means twenty more days to stress about my unplanned future before graduation day.

Like many of you recent grads or soon to be college grads, I do not have a job lined up. In this economy jobs aren’t as flourishing as Lindsay Lohan’s alcohol problem and therefore neither is a recent grad’s income. A lack of income can present a problem when your funds have to be spent on rent and insurance rather than Natty Light and late night fast food. I am included in this fund-deficient category. Sure, I have some cashmonay saved up… but not enough to sustain three months worth of rent in New York City.

So after some debate and inner turmoil, I have decided to move back in with my parents. This is a desperate act and the last option I wanted to choose, but with no job and no income, it wasn’t a choice at all. So back to Mom and Dad’s I go.

It’s going to be a major transition, yes, and probably not the most exciting prospect after having total freedom for 4 years, but maybe it’s not the worst thing, either. I mean, at least you know the bathroom floors are clean, right? Read More »

Library to yourself? Score.

Endless exams and papers, constant guy drama, grad school applications, a dwindling bank account…the day-to-day worries of our college years often weigh us down.  But too often, we stress about the big issues and totally forget about the little things that make our daily routines bearable…or even great!

1. A Cancelled Class
Your alarm goes off bright and early at 8 a.m. and you can barely open your eyes.  You angrily hit the snooze button, roll over in bed and start thinking about what to wear.  Then your mind runs through all the things you have to do today: 3 classes, gym, library, chapter meeting…ugh. You’d rather stay in bed. Then – BUZZ! – your phone vibrates and you wonder who the hell needs to talk to you this early. Lo and behold, it’s your study buddy letting you know that (gasp) CLASS IS CANCELLED! Your professor is sick/at a family function/whatever, and you can barely read the whole text before you reset your alarm, pull the covers back over your head and sleep for a few more (glorious!) hours.

2. Free Stuff!
Let’s face it, in this economy getting anything for free in college is right up there with Christmas and 21st birthdays. Free short stack day at IHOP, free condoms at Student Health, those Victoria’s Secret coupons for free panties that come in the mail, and (a personal favorite at my campus) free iced coffee day at Dunkin Donuts.  And then there’s all those campus club meetings and fundraisers where they give out free food, and sometimes on hot days, free water bottles! It may not seem like much, but it doesn’t get much better than a free, ice cold water bottle. Read More »

No one's getting booty in this room. Trust.

It’s the Scout Motto: Always be prepared. But I don’t think my Girl Scout troop leader was referring to booty calls when she ingrained that piece of advice into my head.

On a college campus you never know who you’re going to meet… and then want to take back to your room… to get to know each other better. The last thing you want is to bring a suitor home one night and have them leave the next morning without their wallet because it’s lost in a sea of your dirty laundry (true story). Or worse, bring them home and have them remember they have “somewhere to be” (at 3 a.m.) after spotting your My Little Pony collection on your nightstand.

Being prepared for spontaneity may be an oxymoron, but it has safely guarded my dignity and late night encounters thus far. Here are a few life tips I have adapted in my quest to divide and conquer, without letting those boys see my Spanx. Read More »

"Mom! Can you bring me some ice cream??"

It’s your last class of the week and it’s creeping by even more slowly than usual. You flip through your stack of Power Point slides. Twelve pages to go and only twenty minutes left in the class. There’s no way you’ll get out of here on time thanks to that ass in the front row who raises his hand every 3 minutes.

You aren’t paying much attention to the prof (why should you? You’ve got the entire lecture printed out in front of you) and instead are counting down the minutes until you’re back home for the weekend eating your mom’s famous burgers and showering without flip flops.

Class finally ends and you run back to the dorm. You only have an hour to pack before you need to hit the road. You dig your suitcase out from under your bed (“That’s where my round brush went!”) and throw it open. You don’t need a lot for your two day retreat; you don’t plan on doing much besides lay around on your parents’ couch and raid the pantry. You toss in a few pairs of sweats, one nice outfit (because your mom has made it clear that she didn’t buy you all those nice jeans to have them sit in the closet) and some very basic toiletries. You’ll just use mom’s shampoo/ conditioner/ hair dryer/ makeup… if the need arises.

There is still plenty of room left in your bag so you drag your laundry bag out of your closet and start filling up the suitcase with your dirties. You’re sure your mother’s empty-nest syndrome will be alleviated with a few loads of your laundry. And if nothing else, at least you’ll be able to do it for free.

Once your bag is zipped – which required a lot of pushing and a gallon of sweat – you change into something that won’t leave your mom yelling at you for looking like a hobo, dab on a little makeup, throw the necessary books/laptop into your messenger bag and head out. Read More »