Being lazy is good for you.

This 8-year-old is more hardcore than you.

Meryl Streep: Schmoozing for reviews?

American Idol wannabe has many arrests in her past.

9 actresses who have played vampires.

How to make your boyfriend’s friends hate you

Snooki looks like a different person without make up.

Have Rihanna and Chris Brown been hooking up in secret?

Let’s make some non-New Years Resolutions.

I’m elated to announce that today, August 10^th, is National Lazy Day.  Seriously, this is a recognized day of do-nothing.  Go out and get batteries for your remote, set up a cooler right next to the sofa, find the comfiest clothes possible – you’re going to be doing a minimal amount of moving.  In honor of the only holiday better than Christmas, I bring you the ultimate Lazy Day schedule:

Noon: Wake up, but don’t get out of bed.  Reach over to your night table and grab your laptop.  Of course you left it there last night; the desk is way on the other side of your room.  Fall back asleep before you even log onto Facebook.

1:00: Wake up for real this time.  Pick your laptop up from the floor since it probably slid off your comforter.  Do all the requisite email checking, Facebooking, Tweeting, and stalking.

1:45ish: Get out of bed and put clothes on.  Wait, pause.  Did I just tell you to put clothes on?  Shame on me, this is Lazy Day.  Put on fake clothes; you know, the kind with stretchy waists and baggy arms.

1:50ish: We will be observing hygiene rules of non-Lazy Days.  Brush teeth, wash face, apply deodorant.  Just because you may or may not be wearing spandex and an oversize sweatshirt doesn’t mean you can smell like a complete hobo.  Let’s have pride in our Laziness.

2:00: Contemplate making a delicious brunch.  Maybe a fried egg and bacon sandwich?  How about chocolate chip pancakes?  Now think of all the dirty dishes those options would create.  You’re in no mood to scrape grease off a frying pan.  Settle for dry cereal eaten directly from the box.

2:10: Grab a Vitamin Water and head for the couch.  Throw yourself across the cushions with a minimal amount of effort.  Wherever you land is where you’re spending the next four hours.  Let’s hope your arms don’t fall asleep easily.

2:30: F*ck!  Why is there nothing on TV?  Mope for a moment, yell at yourself for not putting DVDs in the player before flopping down.  You’re too comfy to move so you settle for a Real Housewives of New York marathon.  Could be worse.  Could be Atlanta.

7:00: Your eyes are glazed over, do you have to pee?  You totally have to pee.  Fight the urge for a moment, curse the Vitamin Water, and make your way to the bathroom avoiding all mirrors.  Be sure to grab a bag of chips and DVDs on your way back.

9:00-:Watching The Devil Wears Prada is always less fun when you know Anne Hathaway leaves the fabulous job and ditches Adrian Grenier at the end.  She’s such a moron.  Text your friend and have a bitch session about careers and men and Anne’s weird nose.

9:30: Your thumbs hurt.  Put down the cell phone.  Rally your energy and walk back to your room, stopping in the kitchen on the way.  You need another Vitamin Water to counter-balance the unhealthiness of chips you inhaled earlier.  Sour cream and onion does not count as a serving of vegetables, even on Lazy Day.

9:35: Grab the laptop again, you need to update your FB status and check on who has broken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend since lunchtime.  You hate couples, especially on Lazy Day when there’s no one to snuggle with on the sofa. (Not that you’d make this a group activity.  Your hair is fierce in a bad way.)

11:00: Did you just fall asleep?  On Lazy Day?  Bravo!  If that drool on the keyboard is any sign, you were out for a while.  Stream reruns of Vampire Diaries on your computer and allow the hotness that is Ian Somerhalder to wash over you.  Your soul will smile.

1:00 AM: Oops, someone forgot to eat dinner.  Go fish in the fridge for leftovers then come back to bed so you can doze off for good as Vamps fight in the background.  You’re exhausted after an entire day of Lazy!

[Last week our Single Girl shared her feelings of jealousy for all her coupled friends. Looks like the grass is always greener....]

I’m getting to that point with my boyfriend that things are getting really comfortable. Since we live together I get to see him 24/7 which unfortunately means he sees me 24/7. AKA he sees me when I have no makeup, am in my sweats, and getting ready for bed. Honestly, there’s really no mystery left.

Flip over to my best friend Erica and her new boyfriend. She’s having all the fun of finding out all about him and she still spends an hour in the bathroom before dates. Then there’s my friend Haley who’s totally taking advantage of being single at college parties and can have a make out sesh whenever she wants with whomever she wants. I love hearing them talk about all the excitement of Erica’s new relationship and Haley’s latest exploits, but it’s starting to hit me that I will most likely never get that kind of excitement again. And I’m jealous!

I do love my boyfriend, and I’m totally OK with giving up stuff like finding out the hot guy at the bar is terrible in bed, or having a blind date with a guy with bad breath, but am I really ready to never have another first kiss? Another first date? Another first sexcapade?

There’s something wonderful about being completely comfortable with someone and knowing that you don’t have to swipe on some eyeliner when you know he’s coming over. And there’s nothing quite like the feeling of knowing someone’s behind you, no matter what. But with all that comfort comes laziness; when you don’t need to impress the other person anymore, why put in any effort?

I love Matt and I love being in a relationship with him, but it’s hard not to miss all the fun and excitement that comes with the single life. And when I think about it, it’s scary to realize that I’ll never have it again. Especially when I’m surrounded by people in the midst of it, living it up and sharing their tales with me.

Anybody else getting green with envy of other girls?

But how can we convince people to live more active lives when we’re constantly bombarded with inventions and machines that make it so easy to do everything without doing anything? Perhaps we should be taking some tips from the Swedish. They’ve come up with a brilliant plan to get people to get off their lazy asses and onto the stairs.

By making them fun.

How cool is that? Just imagine how much more fun your life would be if they installed this in your city. You’d be like Beethoven…with a great ass.

Take off those sweats and put a little effort in! You never know who you're going to meet.

No matter how many times I lecture my friends about how we, as single girls, need to look cute wherever we go, I can’t seem to follow my own advice.

I was sitting on the stationary bike at the gym yesterday, sweating out my scholastic stress to some Drake, when a cute boy sits on the bike next to me. A very cute boy, whom I happened to see around a lot last year, but never talked to that much. Apparently, I should have biked next to him months ago, because we enjoyed a long long, drawn out, get-to-know-you conversation as we pedaled our little hearts out.

I was so excited and in luuuurve, but instead of focusing on engaging in witty banter, batting my eyelashes, and basically just knocking the socks off this kid, I was wondering if my eye makeup from the day had made its way down my face yet, and if sweat could ever be remotely flattering. I was also questioning my decision to wear bright, floral shorts that rep my school (I thought they were so tacky that they were cute…my friends later informed me that sadly, they were just  tacky) with a shirt that completely clashed with them. I was all, “Hell, it’s just the gym, I can go looking crappy and no one will ever be the wiser.”

THAT right there, that sentence, is my problem. Dannia, honey, I feel your pain. I’m here to keep you from having to learn it the hard way: it’s a smart to look adorable no matter where you go.

I’m not saying you need to be completely decked out in your sexiest outfit on the way to class, or vamp it up by using your best smokey eye technique for 9 a.m. lecture. It’s just that when you feel like you look good, that confidence really does come across. People say this all the time, but it can’t be stressed enough: confidence is such an attractive quality! If you’re too lazy or rushed to make yourself feel pretty or good about how you look, people are going to think you’re too lazy to care about anything else. Also, when you don’t have to worry about how you look when you unexpectedly run into someone you want to impress, you can completely focus on the conversation. You don’t want to be asking yourself why you wore ratty sweatpants when he’s asking you if you want to go out on Friday night!

I completely understand wanting to be comfortable. I am the queen of being laid back. I swipe some mascara on for parties or special occasions, but my day-to-day routine revolves around face moisturizer and Chapstick. This isn’t about being someone you’re not, it’s just making sure you present your best self because you never know what will happen. I know that we, as single girls, hear it all the time: “It’ll happen when you least expect it! Don’t go looking for love, let it find you!” But I doubt it’s going to find me when I’m still dirty from last night’s gym sesh and my sweats have a hole in the crotch.

Since we’re unattached, it’s easiest to make a guy’s heart go pitter-patter with our looks first, so it just makes sense to make an effort even though, at times, it can be annoying. So wake up 15 minutes early so you can actually think about what you’re going to wear when you leave your dorm room! You’ll look good, you’ll feel good and you’ll focus on more important things, like school wooing the kid in your Art History lecture.

And now it’s time for me to invest in some new gym clothes…

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2009/10/02/single-and-looking-good-if-i-do-say-so-myself/feed/ 7 Zahra- Northwestern University dress up http://collegecandy.com/2009/09/06/sinning-will-save-the-economy/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/09/06/sinning-will-save-the-economy/#comments Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:00:43 +0000 Kayla - California State University, Sacramento http://collegecandy.com/?p=38440 ]]> With the recession guilting me into sacrificing unnecessary luxuries (oh, multiple, daily Starbucks runs, how I miss you!), I’m wondering how others are handling their own sacrifices. Our daily indulgences have now become something to shake a finger at, but many industries are still thriving by playing into our addictions.

As humans, we have inner demons that can only be quieted by indulging in our uncontrollable desires. Take the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins. Depending on your beliefs or interpretations, you may agree that we have a natural inclination towards these temptations. For example, I totally lust after my boyfriend’s six pack, I greedily horde my money, I’m a glutton for any sort of frozen yogurt, and I envy Megan Fox’s…everything.

Being the crafty marketing team they are, America’s consumer industries are exploiting our desires to indulge in these Seven Deadly Sins (and are getting filthy rich because of it!). Hey, maybe if we all sinned a bit more, we could nix this recession like Cain did Abel! Ready to be a bad girl? Hit up these industries to silence your inner, money spending demon:

Lust – While the recession has taken away many things, at least it’s bringing sexy back! Erotic industries, such as sex toy company Babeland, have seen a 25% increase in sales. Makes sense: The less hours you’re given at your job, the more quality time you have to spend with your brand new Mini Pink Leopard Vibe! The best part? Babeland is always having sales to keep you “cumming” back for more. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Gluttony- Did your latest paycheck leave your pockets feeling empty? At least you can still fill your tummy with greasy, affordable goodness! Americans appreciate the cheap convenience of fast food, so we keep hitting those drive-thrus and saving our money. It’s a trade-off, because we sacrifice good health for a good deal, but no one wants to shell out big money for the organic aisle at Walmart. And thanks to that logic, Ronald McDonald’s painted-on, red smirk is widening by the fiscal year.

Greed- Hit up Vegas recently? Despite declining tourism in Vegas, I’ve noticed that the casinos in my area of Northern California (including Reno and Lake Tahoe) are still emptying pockets like nobody’s business. Our insatiable, greed-driven thirst for money and power is continually fed by these casino industries. They are doing so well, in fact, that my town’s closest casino has drummed up enough income to begin construction on a swanky resort hotel. Because nothing says a good time like driving ten minutes from your home to check into a hotel and throw your money away at the craps table.

Sloth- Psh, if I were the embodiment of a sin, Sloth would be my name and Lazy would be my game. After finally deciding to get some Dish Network up in the apartment I share with the boyfriend, I chose to shell out the extra deuce for DVR. You don’t get any lazier than “I’m too tired to even flip through channels. Where’s that Little Couple episode I recorded last night?” You girls all gotta admit you would/do pay extra for the convenience of being lazy via your boob tube.

Wrath- Personally, I don’t get down with the emotion of anger. You can say I’m a lover, not a fighter. But tell that to the Hooters that has men spilling out of their doors and windows just to watch the UFC fight and chow down on some chicken waaangs. Granted, it doesn’t hurt that there are some hot mamas providing this service. But by these guys living vicariously through cauliflower-eared, sweaty men beating the hell out of each other, they are perpetuating the sin of Wrath. And Dana White is sinfully wealthy because of it!

Envy- The Green-Eyed monster can be found in almost any industry. Particularly those in which sales rely on the fact that girls are constantly in competition with each other. We buy magazines just to drool over the bodies we are jealous of, the ads for shoes we could never afford, the articles about overachievers that make us feel unsuccessful in comparison…and we just end up more envious than we did to begin with.

Pride- Taking pride in your appearance is vital to social acceptance and self-confidence. But you gotta admit that with plastic surgery, celebrity emulation, buckets of makeup and clocking hours in the mirror, we take vain to the next level. With our persistant focus on our outer appearance, industry big-wigs like Dr. Rey and M.A.C. Cosmetics are riding high on our hard earned dollars.

So, yeah, you may be feeling guilty for giving into your sinful consumer ways. But consider your participation in our economy a good deed. Don’t let your buyer’s remorse or shopping guilt get you down, my Angelic American. Because sometimes, it just feels good to be bad.

I would now like to share with you one of my favorite blogs. It’s very simple, nothing fancy, but somehow it manages to be the most awesome thing every Monday. This magical, mysterious blog?

Isgossipgirlnewtonight.com.

Guess what it’s about? Yep, that’s it! That’s literally it. Is Gossip Girl a new episode tonight? A one word answer, yes or no, and you can continue planning your Monday night. Go ahead – check it out. I know, it’s not THAT hard to find this info out yourself, but come on, who wants to navigate the CW website and get attacked by terrifying new-90210 ads? Not I, that’s for damn sure. It’s handy, it’s clear,  it serves its purpose and nothing more. Love. It.

This delightful informative blog is not alone in it’s single-minded practicality. Oh no, check out Doineedanumbrella.com for all your immediate weather needs. And, while not exactly surprising anymore, these are still AWESOME to look at, when spirits are low: isobamapresident.com, and equally enjoyable, ismccainpresident.com.

Some may say they’re silly; I say they’re brilliant! They’re the answers to questions you silently ask yourself every morning, while you decide exactly how much effort you’re going to put into finding the answer. Maybe I love this trend because it facilitates my laziness, but you know what I say to that?  WHATEVS. (Yes, I am too lazy to say the whole word.)

This seems to be hot right now, so I’m sure you all have more that I haven’t heard of yet! Let me know, would you? My bookmarks are waiting….

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Cell phone companies: Lately, all these upbeat and happy-go-lucky cell phone company commercials (in addition to the fact that my phone has, miraculously, not been stolen for a few years) led me to lower my guard towards the vicious corporate cell conglomerates. Until yesterday.

I practically skipped out of the store getting sticky fingerprints alllll ovah my new Vu. I had barely blinked when I signed away on the $264 transaction and sold my cell-soul for another two years (I like to pretend I’m really rich when I buy expensive things that are necessary purchases…it makes parting with my very small funds a lil bit easier). Then my boyfriend called; he had dutifully been doing some comparison shopping, as he’s well aware of my tendency to impulse buy. He had found the same phone, same deal for $135… before the rebate. Naturally, I went to return my phone and buy take the cheaper deal, only to find that, no, the company could not reverse the contract they JUST processed. And, no, I could not return my phone because apparently they examine it for microscopic scratches and cite a $75 “re-stocking” fee. So it was either keep my phone, or pay to return it. After my contract expires, I’m switching to carrier pigeon.

Free-riders.  And, no, I don’t mean fun-loving motorcyclists. I’m talking about the imaginary 5th member of your presentation group, the one who never raised his hand in class to identify himself, the one who definitely didn’t come to the library to work on it, and the one who stood silently behind everyone on presentation day. Or perhaps the girl who e-mails the entire roster when she misses class (every Monday and Wednesday) asking what we covered. Maybe even the guy who sleeps next to you for the entirety of Stats and then coolly asks to borrow the notes you just painstakingly transferred into English from whatever dialect of it your teacher was speaking. Just so you know, Freeloaders, I bust my scholastic ass for the sake of my GPA—not yours.

Gym Resolutioners.  Yes, they are still there, clogging the turnstiles to get into the Student Gym. There are still hordes of girls (who are not even wearing proper exercise equipment/attire, might I add) extending the line for elliptical machines waaaay longer than necessary. There are still enough newcomers to exercise classes snapping up spaces on the sign-up sheets for kickboxing that I have to get to the gym FORTY-FIVE MINUTES before the class starts to wait in line, just so I hopefully get a spot. And they are definitely still taking my yoga classes, because whenever we do Downward Dog I hear giggling in the back of the studio. I’m all for everyone getting healthy in 2009, but come on, resolutioners, at least take working out seriously. And stop arriving in masses at 6 pm every night…I know you guys have some sort of communication signal that tells you all to stop whatever you’re doing at once and go crowd the Stairmasters!

Whew, I’m so worked up I might not even need to do Cardio today after that rant. What pissed YOU off this week?

Ah, fall. With its gorgeous colors, crisp air and back-to-school excitement, it’s undoubtedly my favorite season. The only problem with fall is that it leads into my least favorite season, winter. Being a New England gal, I’ve begrudgingly grown used to braving heavy snow and freezing temperatures, but there’s something else about winter that I’m not wild about.

It’s that, well, I get downright…mannish.

My appetite grows with the cold weather and I start scarfing down everything in sight. Science says that is my way of packing on extra pounds to stay warm, but I know it is just that warm Mac and Cheese just tastes so. good. in the winter.

I bundle up in clothes that don’t exactly show off my figure so I can be warm, and let’s just say I get a little lazy about regularly shaving my legs. And forget about wearing something pretty and feminine, like a short skirt. Nope, it’s my warmest baggy jeans and clunky boots all the way. With my hat pulled down over my hair, I’m one step away from getting an, “Excuse me, young man” when I bump into someone on the street.

I am getting a bit worried that my boyfriend will soon forget what it is like to date a girl, so I am making it my goal to retain a bit of femininity this winter. Below are a few things we can all do to draw the line between hibernating animal and college girl braving the winter winds.

If you want to look cute and feminine and still stay warm, there are ways. For one, you may not want to shave your legs every day, but a pair of pantyhose will hide that and keep your legs warm if you opt for a skirt. Use your layers wisely: start with a silk undershirt for warmth, and then a nice form-fitting shirt and sweater combo should be enough to keep you warm.

On the outside there’s not much you can do to dress up a parka, but go for a tailored pea coat for as long as you can hold it out. Dress up those somber winter colors with a colorful hat and scarf combo. And for that touch of boho chic, get a pair of cheap wool gloves and cut the fingers off. I need my hands to be warm in winter while having the dexterity for writing/texting, and I’ve received many compliments on my handmade fingerless gloves.

If you’re still feeling overly masculine, do something pleasantly girly, like curling up with a mug of hot chocolate. The best part of winter for me is feeling cozy indoors, especially if you’ve got someone to cozy up with. Bonus if that someone doesn’t care how often you shave your legs, or how much winter pudge you’ve packed on.

But no. He was actually wearing those floppy, knit caps to make a fashion statement (while also covering up his dirty, greasy hair).

Just like many major trends this season, the Beret is one I just don’t know about. The hats are cute – no doubt about that – but do girls in LA really need to wear a knit hat in the summer? And don’t those things give off more of a “I was too lazy to wash my hair” vibe than anything else?

What do you think? Do you love or hate the beret?