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How many times a week a day do you Google yourself? An embarrassing amount, right? Almost as embarrassing as the amount of time I spend diagnosing myself with fatal diseases on WebMD. But when we’re not googling our own name and Facebook stalking our frenemies, we’re googling (and ogling) guys. Like, a lot. So we wanted to do a totally scientific study (please note that we did this research while also doing research on the effects of Four Loko on a professional work day) on the most googled guys on the internet. And we were SHOCKED by the results. Like apparently no one else is as into Barry Manilow as I am. But a lot of people are really into Ne-Yo. Who knew?! Now you do!

Beautiful, right?

Okay, so I have to level with you. It took every ounce of my will power to not use this column as a LeBron bashing zone. I know that not many people are as passionate about their sports teams, but when you’re a die hard Cleveland fan, you understand that being a Cleveland fan is pretty similar to being in an unhealthy relationship. A very, very unhealthy relationship. Where your heart is constantly being broken and just when you think that everything will be okay, and you’ll get a ring, then all of a sudden your man goes on national television to publicly humiliate you and announce that he’s dumping you and moving to Miami to hang out with his bros and hook up with the Kardashians.

But, like I said, I’m not going to use this as a forum to stoop to that level and tear apart that cowardly, embarrassment to the state of Ohio, LeBrat LeBron. Instead, like any good Midwestern girl should, I’m going to take the high road and focus on all the reasons that Cleveland will survive without the self-titled “King” and still rules, despite all the flack that people give the beautiful “Mistake on the Lake.”

10. The people
Who doesn’t love a good-hearted group of people? I’m hard pressed to find a nicer bunch of humanity than the homegrown heroes of Cleveland Ohio. I heart the Midwest and their genuine, laid back attitude.

9. Severe sports hotties
LeWHO? Have you seen Grady Sizemore (granted- he’s for the Indians, but still)? Total babe.

8. The Browns?
Come on, we’ve got a shot this year. Right?

7. Our amazing Cavs owner.
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Mr. Gilbert. I think Cleveland has a new king if you can keep your promise.

6. Awesome theme song
Popularized by the Drew Carey show, Cleveland ROCKS.

5. The Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame
The music capital of the world is Cleveland, Ohio. Got any doubts? Go check out the Hall yourself. Guaranteed an amazing time for any music buff or fan.

4. Progressive Field
One of the best looking fields in baseball, home to the Cleveland Indians. Wahoooo!

3. Custard, pop, Cuyahoga, Cedar Point, Antonio’s Pizza and Nickel Beer Night all sounds pretty good right now
Drew Carey has Antonio’s send him 100′s of pizzas for parties and for the set of the Price is Right. Step aside, NYC, looks like Cleveland is now the famed spot for pizza.

2. Fame Factor
Okay, so Drew Carey isn’t the only celeb to come out of C-Town. Cleve is also home to Halle Berry, Patricia Heaton, Wes Craven, Arsenio Hall, Kid Cudi and many many more.

1. Sense of humor
Alright, at the end of the day, we get it. Miami is the hot spot. Cleveland is no LA, NYC, Vegas or Chicago by any lengths of the imagination. But hell, at least we have a good sense of humor about it. Still don’t buy it? Check the Cleveland episode of 30 Rock.

Wowza! This week has been quite the whirlwind.

Is Lindsay going to jail? Does she think it’s totally unfair and tell everyone via her Twitter ramblings?
Is Mel Gibson even more crazy than we thought?

Yes, yes, and yes! While there aren’t a ton of new developments this week, what’s been developing just keeps getting developier better. Not for the celebs so much – I mean, unless Lindsay is super geeked to wear a jumpsuit for 3 months – but for us because it gives us plenty to talk about/make fun of. Yay?

Why are celebs so stupid?

1. Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days (or more!) in jail, rehab after that, and 1 year of random drug testing! Hooray, it’s about time! Girlfriend needs some MAY-JAH help. LiLo broke down in court, but I think it’s just her acting skills (and you can’t deny she’s a good actress). She thought she was going to get off with a slap on the wrist. Well, that’s what happens when you wear a nice F*** U manicure to court, Ms. Lohan. Get.It.Together. Lindsay has hired a new attorney and is appealing the court’s decision because she doesn’t believe her sentence is fair.

2. Poor Oksana Grigorieva. The L.A. County Sheriff’s Department is now investigating Mel Gibson for domestic violence after a recording has surfaced of Mel telling Oksana that she “f****** deserved it.” No, he wasn’t talking about some sparkly diamond bracelet he got her for being such a lovely woman; he’s, of course, referring to punching her in the face. There have been numerous recordings of Gibson making horrendous racist remarks, and this just makes it worse. We’re on Team Oksana for sure, but I think even the most vile creature on earth (Spencer Pratt?) would side with her.

3. NBA star LeBron James is joining the Miami Heat! Basketball fans sat around for hours last night waiting for the big guy to make his decision. LeBron decided to leave the Cavaliers after a disappointing season, and people have been closely watching him – while teams get on their knees and beg for him – to figure out where he’d go next. He’s joining the Heat along with Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. They’ll be awfully close to those Kardashians in Miami. I have a feeling Kim will be checking in on Dash a little more often now.

4. Mary J. Blige is going back to school! She got her high school diploma from New York back in the day and now she’ll be attending Howard University, class of 2014. What a great role model! Mary is 39 with a seriously successful music career, yet she’s still going to get her college degree. Props!

5. Soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo is having a baby. From a surrogate. That he paid to keep quiet. What?! OK, totes not sure on this. Cristiano is dating model Irina Shayk who seems to have no problem with the new baby daddy situation. Some reports are suggesting that the baby mama is a woman Cristiano slept with and is paying to stay out of the picture. Some are saying it’s a surrogate. I don’t know what to believe, but congrats?

Less Stupidity

1. Rachel Dratch from SNL is having a baby! Congrats to you, funny lady!

2. Rumors flew this week that Taylor Lautner was joining the cast of X-Men… but he’s not. This makes me sad. Taylor Lautner shirtless is delicious, but Taylor Lautner in one of those rubbery suits with the sculpted abs? Wait, what was I saying?

3. Jennifer Aniston is supposedly dating actor Chris Gartin, who is almost divorced from his wife. Her reps deny it but we’re onto you, Jen! And we’re happy. He seems to be a lot better than some of those other dudes…

4. Rihanna’s tours aren’t selling out, so she’s canceling! She canceled in Atlanta and Denver, and more are likely to follow. Uh oh! I wonder why no one’s buying?

5. He’s not shirtless, but who’s more sexy than Seth Cohen aka Adam Brody?!

Needless to say, Lebron SHOCKED everyone and decided he was going to sign with the Miami Heat and leave his hometown Cleveland sad and lonely. People were angry, like really angry. Even Cavs owner Dan Gilbert wrote an open letter to Cleveland fans, calling the whole Lebron James decision “a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with the national TV special of his ‘decision’ unlike anything ever ‘witnessed’ in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.” (Ouch Mr. Gilbert, would you like to chew on this chill pill?)

Anyway, while the rest of the U.S continues to hate Lebron for pursuing his ambitions (he really wants to win), we here at CollegeCandy really aren’t surprised that Lebron would say TTFN to Cleveland and “What Up!?” to Miami. I mean, it’s Miami…we get it.

Miami, Florida. Um, DUH. Seriously, this is Miami we’re talking about. It has palm trees, beaches, scantily clad girls and a lot of hot clubs, at which loads of the biggest celebs get their party on. What does Cleveland have? The title of “Most Miserable City in the Country.”

Miami Ink. Lebron loves a good tat and there’s got to be an inch or two of free space on that 6’8 frame for a new one. And if you’re the best (“The Chosen One,” to be more specific), you gotta go to the best. And the best tattoo dudes aren’t at Cleveland Ink, they’re at Miami Ink.

The Kardashians. Oh, this is a big one. Y’all know the Kardashian girls love their muscley, athletic men (Okay, maybe except Kourtney but Scott is a douche bag and it’s time she trade up), and based on their past relationships, it seems those muscley, athletic men like them right back. It makes sense, then, that if Lebron decides to leave his baby mama, he’ll want to be nice and close to some major Armenian action.

The Miami Heat. They’ve got Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and now Lebron. Honestly, from a basketball standpoint, this could be a career turner for Lebron. As a player, he’s been compared to Michael Jordan and Oscar Robertson. Lebron has never won a championship with the Cavaliers, and knowing him (or any professional athlete), he really, really wants to win.

Space from Delonte West. Rumors swirled recently that Lebron’s mom Gloria James may have been doing the dirty with his teammate Delonte West. (Let that sink in….) No one confirmed this but still, getting Mama James as far away from Big D as possible seems like a splendid reason to move on down to Miami.

OK, so I do feel bad for Cleveland – Lebron was their golden child – but let’s be real here, peeps: is anyone really surprised by this?

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Happy (almost) Father’s Day! We know you guys aren’t dads (and if there are any dads reading this, well, that’s just sorta icky), but you are most likely celebrating one. Just because you’re showering your dad with gifts of bacon and neckties, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a little somethin’ somethin’ for yourself.

So we’re bringing you the hottest celebrity dads around. Because while it may be gross to think of your dad as a hottie (OMG…can’t….get…that…image….out…of….my….head….), it’s totally fine to celebrate the hotness that is the Celebrity DILF.

What we wouldn’t give to have these guys bounce us on their knee for a few. Come to mama!
[Click images to see them in all their daddy glory!]

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